Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Why the holidays suck

Yes, blog readers, it's the holiday season of 2008 and Palmer is all Bah Hum Bug! I am fortunate enough that I don't celebrate any religious holiday and can be exempt from the obligatory gift giving and receiving! Ho ho ho. It's good to feel this way, my kind blog readers. I like not participating in gift exchanges with relatives I don't like and who don't like me. It makes the holiday parties I go to much less tense and this year I haven't seen anyone I don't like simply because-- no one invited me to their holiday party. What a relief! I don't need to feel uncomfortable. The fake "Merry Christmas" or the disingenious "Happy New Year." I don't like pretending or faking my feelings. I do hope my good friends and family members had a fun holiday break but otherwise, don't invite me to your party unless you want to be brought down into a dark...damp...depressive state! Yes! Palmer is the "Holiday Cooler" for hire! For a $125 fee, you can hire me to use my charm to disarm your holiday party and send your guests home!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My whinny nephew Daniel

The other day I sent my nephew Daniel some birthday toys through the trusty ole US mail. He got them in time and played with them and discovered problems with each item.

When I spoke to him on his birthday, he gave me the litany of woes for each item. The first toy, a silicon based Squishy Pig Head, which I bought in Korea, is to be thrown against smooth surfaces. You throw it against a desk, for example, and wham! The pig head becomes flat and then pops up again. He obviously went animal on it, and it now leaks water.

The second gift, a handmade wooden spin top, which you can see a picture of it being made on this blog, needed vast assembly of the rope to the pully. It required a grown up to put it together. The third gift, a lego-like racer car from Korea, did not assembly fully because the plastic driver's head did not sit correctly. Oh, well. I thought they were fun gifts that he would enjoy.

My mom bought him an expensive Lego set and sent it to him via US mail. She purchased the last number in a special Lego series, which my nephew is currently at number five. He hopes to collect all eight. When I spoke to him, he sounded disappointed because she did not go in the order of the series. He was perturbed that she skipped ahead a few numbers.

I guess I am disappointed in his attitude towards his birthday gifts. Maybe this is the mark of a spoiled kid. He's hard to read over the phone and I haven't seen him in a few years either. My brother says he was happy with his gifts but my observations deny this.

FerLease Navidad

Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad...I want to wish you a merry christmas. I want to wish you a merry christmas. And may your business not go!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Maple Bear up to it's old tricks

I hear about news from the front lines of Maple Bear, in Suwon, Korea from time to time. The latest in Maple Bear centers on management. Currently, they are asking the teacher/s to smile more often. It sounds like some parents were complaining that some teachers look miserable. Duh! Try working there you wing-nuts!

There was a meeting with the Korean director and the owner where they told the teacher/s to smile more because their sour smirks are damaging their school's image! I also heard that they were thinking of firing someone but asked him to stay on instead for another month or two. He may have been fired earlier except four of us were leaving in August!

The ultra-sensitive, fat one left for some Latin country, thoroughly disgusted with Korean staff, teachers and kids. She made my friend's life not so good with her constant "c$@@t blocking" of her female friend and him. The tall, string bean one, who wouldn't stop her freakin noisy stomping in her apartment above me for months, was fisnishing her contract; the quiet, angry one had quit and me, the Maple Bear unruly one, was being canned--all within the month of August. They couldn't afford to lose one more teacher!

Monday, December 8, 2008

KXLU Los Angeles 88.9FM

Hello blog readers. In 2007 during Loyola Marymount's (LMU) FM radio drive, I donated $29 to kxlu for my cool black tee shirt. I love that station. They play "alternative" radio stuff. I don't know what alternative means anymore, do you? Their Friday evening show at 6pm is a staple in my music diet. Demolisten was a show that Van Halen sent their demo tape to be played on the radio for the first time, so long ago...

When I was in Korea, I would down load Demolisten in it's 50 mega byte splendor to be listened to over and over again during the week. I left it on the computer over there at Maple Bear. Maybe someone who uses my computer will be turned on to. Anyways, I never got my tee shirt during their pledge drive in November of 2007. As I was preparing for my move to Korea thereafter, I didn't bother at all and finally, when I left for Korea in Feb of 2008, I didn't think about it.

In June of 2008 while still in Korea, I emailed them. When I got back from Korea in August, I still haven't received my pledge tee shirt. I followed up and up and up. Finally, after a year, in Dec 2008, I got my tee shirt! I had to go to the big boss to make it happen. That lilliputian of a station manager, Lauren Villa, is just too cool to care. I took this personally. Look at my emails to her.

----- Original Message ----
From: villa
Sent: Thursday, June 12, 2008 5:15:05 AM
Subject: KXLU fundraizer request/question

Dear Mr. Palmer,

I will definately get this taken care of as soon as possible!

--
Villa
KXLU General Manager

--- On Tue, 6/24/08, Mack Palmer wrote:

Subject: Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question
To: "villa"
Date: Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 3:42 AM

Hi Lauren,

Just following up. Any word? Thanks

~Matt
--- On Fri, 9/19/08, Mack Palmer wrote:

From: Mack Palmer
Subject: Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question
To: "villa"
Date: Friday, September 19, 2008, 2:46 PM

Hi ,

I got back to Los Angeles and had a note to follow up on this. Please let me know the status. Thank you.

~Matt

On Thu, Sep 25, 2008 at 12:03 PM, Mack Palmer wrote:

Hi,

I've been patient with this and given you ample time to correct the situation. I don't know if you received my last email on 9/19/08, but you need to contact me and communicate and resolve this issue. Thank you.

~Matt

--- On Thu, 9/25/08, lauren villa wrote:

From: villa
Subject: Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question
Date: Thursday, September 25, 2008, 7:05 PM

I am very, very sorry we're in the middle of our current fundrazor right now. I will get back to you very, very soon. I'd like to know the amount your pledged and the premium you are waiting for and we will rectify this. I am sorry it has taken so long, but we're very busy. I will fix this soon.

-


Around 9/25/08

Hi,

I pledged for the Tee-shirt (large). Thank you

~Matt

Sent: Monday, December 01, 2008 7:55 AM
To: , Lydia
Subject: Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question

Dear Ms. Ammossow,

I've been waiting for my KXLU gift (a tee shirt) for almost a year now. Could you please find a way to resolve this? I think Ms. Villa is too busy to take care of this issue. Thank you.

Best Regards,

Matthew Palmer

RE: KXLU fundraizer request/question
Ammossow, Lydia"
December 1, 2008 9:56:08 AM
To:M Palmer

I am SO sorry! I will look into this ASAP & get back to you!

Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question
M Palmer
sent: December 8, 2008

Hi Ms. Ammossow,

I got them! Thank you for the extra Tees!

Now that [this] issue has been successfully resolved by you, could you please tell me, because I'm really curious, why Lauren acted this way? I have several theories in my mind why this happened and wanted to match them with her reason behind her lateness. I would really like an explanation that is not sugar coated or presented in a manner which hides anything. Could you please explain? Thank you.

~Matt

Yes, blog reader, I really want to follow this thread even further. I obviously have a lot of time on my hands. And to delve into the mind of a busy 20 something (I'm guessing) who has a really great job/career that is the envy of a lot of LA Hipsters, should be followed through unlike the follow up of my gift! I need closure. Doesn't anyone understand? For a musician like me who has never gotten anywhere in music, being a station manager for a cool FM radio station is very cool. And then comes this dork who hasn't received his pledge gift. Poo poo poo.

The Inland Empire serves bad food

I hope my gf is not mad but she would concur that the food we ate on Saturday, December 6th at a Japanese restaurant in THE INLAND EMPIRE, sucked poo. I have lived in Upland and Claremont for about three years and have an excellent sampling of the Inland Empire's cuisine and can judge that it's big brother or sister AKA L.A. still has better food than it's little brother or sister could dream about.

Yes, yes, yes. The area known as the Inland Empire (Empire) encompasses all the malcontent communities of Pomona, West Covina, Chino Hills and other sad places. It's particularly nice in the Winter when the temperatures don't soar about 79 degrees but foraging for good restaurants is a dismal experience that all should avoid.

The Empire has a huge consolidation of Americana diners and restaurants. You would think that all people do is drive dozen of miles from one Denny's to Chevy's. It's not true, you do find Thai and Chinese food but it's Americanized and not very good. I'm not a foodie by any sort and am still amazed by the lack of decent food in the Empire even after my departure of ten years ago! You'd think in ten years that they would have improved but they haven't. So, the Inland Empire sucks for food choices. Whatca expect from a massive sprawling urban mess of pre-fab houses and desert tundra?

And please don't think I denigrate one to boast the wills of the other. No way. I think that L.A. is not the best city either. The people here are freakin weird and hostile. Sorry, Uncle Ed, your self-enclosed world of Santa Monican urban professionals is too secular and small for the real cross-sampling of L.A. zombie blah people! For example, in Trader Joe's, an employee who serves free samples of coffee and snacks told me that Westsider's give attitude if Trader Joe's sells food with nitrates and hostile if the free coffee is not brewed yet! Believe it!

Friday, December 5, 2008

Why an economic recession is cathartic

As of December 2008 we are in a country wide recession and as far as I can tell, a world recession is on the way. This economic crisis has the makings of a depression because of de-flation of prices, like oil/gas and consumer goods dropping to lower prices over a period of time. This crisis also has a secondary effect: layoffs.

All those workers who were really lazy and unproductive but in normal times you couldn't get rid of them, are now being given the boot. Yes, it's time to fire those lazy asses and become mean and lean. Our country is bloated, now we need to hit the gym, take some steroids, diet and eat lean proteins: we're in training. Rocky would yell, "Adrienne" about now. It would be great it UCLA lay off people who are lazy asses. We all know who THEY are. Besides, these lazy people should be doing something else that makes them feel productive and happy. It's a gift that they are asked to leave. Merry Fuckin Christmas! This reminds me of how de-politicized Christmas has become: we no longer have Christmas Parties but Holiday Parties. These are careful times where so many groups have staked their ideological footings. We should just eliminate holiday parties because it's fake and disingenuous when we try to keep Christian holidays or the Jewish holiday ideologically equal or politically correct with each other.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Why an economic recession is cathartic? Once we realize how our appetite and greed for consuming and spending has created this mess, our culture will come in a wave of communal release. It might be the sort of an orgasm that made 60,000 chicks cry during the Beatles 1968 Shea Stadium concert or just a huge drunken binge of vomit spewing forth onto the streets by the unemployed. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Anyway, once this recession becomes personal, then peoples' true selves emerge from under the facade of consumerism and status to reveal how consumerist and greedy they are.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Maple Bear woes

I've heard from the grape vine that Maple Bear is declining fast, like North Korea's food supply! Morale is low and new management, after John the American director was canned, wants the ESL teacher's to meet Korean parents, one-on-one, and be a part of the planning for Western style holidays and such. Enrollment is low and some teachers have had their schedules reduced. My old IEP3 class was canceled. All is not well in Suwon.

Although conditions in Korea can be funky and uncomfortable at times for foreign teachers, there are so many benefits that make me appreciate the time I've lived in Korea. For example, the general feeling of safety at night. You can walk or ride your bike without the worry of harassment or impending mugging. The easy hours of work that enable you to often stay up late and socialize with friends or wake up early to experience the "land of the morning calm." To understand the latter, you need to be there and feel it. The lack of stress of owning a car or getting around to your destinations. Korea has excellent and very affordable transportation. The way that Korean people like to eat, drink and share their food with you. Imagine being on a public bus and being offered food or snacks. Never here on the bus here in America! Forgettabout it. The grass is always greener, I suppose, in hindsight.