The other day, it was hot and humid. Like the geek I am, I place my pen in my engineer type ugly striped dress shirt pocket. It’s convenient and enhances my image of being so suave and cool. It’s efficient and until now, no spillage, no leaks. I know others will follow my fashion style since I am breaking new paths in what is acceptable here in Korea! Anyway, by mid afternoon, there’s a huge, blue splotch on my shirt! The pen leaked! And when I was sitting down, the shirt had folded unto itself causing the splotch to multiply by three! Now I have three ink stains. No one noticed in my kinder class! That’s okay and typical…
Another time I was in my kinder lunch class and Peter, holding his crotch and doing the pee-pee dance, asked if he could go to the bathroom. I said “Yes, go! Hurry.” The next thing I know he has dropped his pants and he is butt naked! In the middle of class, the students are eating and no one notices that Peter is butt naked and about to pee! I yelled, “No, not here! Run to the bathroom!” He picked up his pants and dashed off. The students acted like it was normal…
I threw away the cheap ass Mon Ami 153 pen which hasn’t changed at all since I was last here in Korea in 1997. And still, no pen clips! WTF?! How can you not have a pen clip? That’s ridiculous. Every time I bend over the pen flops out like boxer shorts without a front button.
When I went home that evening I took off the shirt and saw that the blue ink blotched my stomach and chest, too. I spent ten minutes rubbing it out of my skin. I soaked the shirt in detergent for one hour and threw it in the wash. The ink stains were still there. Three of them. I threw the shirt out. Forgettabout!!
The next day I took the shirt and garbage bag out for collection. I went up stairs and did another load of laundry, took a shower, ate breakfast, yada yada yada. When it was time to hang up the laundry in my small patio, that bloody blue ink stained shirt was still there! WTF? I threw that puppy out, I thought! Then, I realized that I threw out the other ugly striped dress shirt which is like the ugly striped dress and stained shirt! In all the confusion of being me, I didn’t pay close attention. After all, one stripped line shirt does look like another strip line shirt; the many I have! I ran downstairs but the garbage was already collected. Shit: now I am out of two dress shirts!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Palmer is leaving Korea
I met with the director and owner of my hogwan (pronounced "hog won") a couple of weeks ago and my official last day is August 10, 2008. If they hire a new teacher sooner than that, I can go home before then. If they don't hire anyone by August 10, I can go home on August 10 and not pay for the airfare and visa fees the owner shelled out to get Palmer's ass in Korea! I've been here less than six months so I am liable for those fees. The owner said I don't need to pay him back. Cool, no problem.
In case you're wondering, I am not interested in teaching in Korea again and if I did want to, I would need to leave the country, go back home and renew my work visa, get finger printed again and an apostille showing that I am not a criminal, all at my cost. Besides, Yanne and I are officially in love and we are planning our future in Los Angeles. Though Taipei might still be in the picture for us at a later date...who knows. I have applied to jobs in Los Angeles. I have a lot that look interesting that fit my skill set. My resume is updated, my references are in order and my cover letters are customized for each position.
I feel okay about my stay in Korea ending. I have saved some money and learned a few things about my self and my teaching abilities and Korean culture. Although the director thinks my "rough housing" games are a big no-no, he and the assistant director, who have observed my classes, and read my lesson plans, think that my teaching is actually good. I actually got a referral letter from the Director which says my teaching is excellent. Yesterday, he sent a follow up email, out of his Directorial kindness, saying my teaching and classes have improved.
Anyway, he got rid of me and now this hogwan is down four teachers--in August four are leaving! I don't think I'm not a good match for teaching (some spoiled and bratty) kindergarten and elementary kids. I think they're funny and warm but I'd rather teach middle, high school or adults. Maybe it's my patience or maybe the kids are just impossible. Hmm. Sometimes I think I just needed a long "vacation," away from everything.
I was at a cross roads in my life and needed some major changes to propel me forward, to shake me loose and get a newer perspective. I love to travel and maybe it was too long a time away from the road? I have Yanne again and I feel very happy and good as we plan a future out with so many possibilities. I appreciate her in every way, her smarts, her beauty, and just her! It's been difficult for her and me, planning and talking the long distance, the continents and admire her for exploring and finding out her feelings about us and what we are planning for the future.
For the past three months we've been in constant communication and have begun a life affirming, love process, if you will (it's corny, I know. And there is beautiful violin music playing to accompany this love we have!). We love each other. We've known each other for years and I think we've grown as people and we will grow more as a couple. We will be together soon and that matters the most!
In case you're wondering, I am not interested in teaching in Korea again and if I did want to, I would need to leave the country, go back home and renew my work visa, get finger printed again and an apostille showing that I am not a criminal, all at my cost. Besides, Yanne and I are officially in love and we are planning our future in Los Angeles. Though Taipei might still be in the picture for us at a later date...who knows. I have applied to jobs in Los Angeles. I have a lot that look interesting that fit my skill set. My resume is updated, my references are in order and my cover letters are customized for each position.
I feel okay about my stay in Korea ending. I have saved some money and learned a few things about my self and my teaching abilities and Korean culture. Although the director thinks my "rough housing" games are a big no-no, he and the assistant director, who have observed my classes, and read my lesson plans, think that my teaching is actually good. I actually got a referral letter from the Director which says my teaching is excellent. Yesterday, he sent a follow up email, out of his Directorial kindness, saying my teaching and classes have improved.
Anyway, he got rid of me and now this hogwan is down four teachers--in August four are leaving! I don't think I'm not a good match for teaching (some spoiled and bratty) kindergarten and elementary kids. I think they're funny and warm but I'd rather teach middle, high school or adults. Maybe it's my patience or maybe the kids are just impossible. Hmm. Sometimes I think I just needed a long "vacation," away from everything.
I was at a cross roads in my life and needed some major changes to propel me forward, to shake me loose and get a newer perspective. I love to travel and maybe it was too long a time away from the road? I have Yanne again and I feel very happy and good as we plan a future out with so many possibilities. I appreciate her in every way, her smarts, her beauty, and just her! It's been difficult for her and me, planning and talking the long distance, the continents and admire her for exploring and finding out her feelings about us and what we are planning for the future.
For the past three months we've been in constant communication and have begun a life affirming, love process, if you will (it's corny, I know. And there is beautiful violin music playing to accompany this love we have!). We love each other. We've known each other for years and I think we've grown as people and we will grow more as a couple. We will be together soon and that matters the most!
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Thus spoke the Vomit Man of Gok-Pan
This has been a disgusting month. First there are bits of yellow corn on my pizza and in my spaghetti sauce and then there is: Vomit Man! Before launching his projectile vomit your way, here is some of my own, in diatribe Palmer in Korea, fashion. BTW, happy past Fourth of July to ya Yanks out there! May America live long and prosper (Star Trek reference) while it continues to launch its missives onto peaceful or hostile countries whenever they interfere with our George Bushian "way of life."
Gok-pan (pronounced Goak) is in Suwon, South Korea. That's where I live. Please don't envy me. I know you do. I hear it in your voices over the phone. You say things like, "when are you coming back to L.A.?" Look, I have a pretty good lifestyle here. I bike to work. I live twenty minutes away. I don't pay rent. I work less than 40 hours a week. I actually am saving money. Of course I teach bratty kids but you knew that. I know you envy me for quitting a great job, selling my car, storing my junk and ejecting myself from the first world of America into a very polluted, noisy, confusing society of Korea that builds first and asks questions later. Well, sorry to disappoint you, Go-Pan fans, it is a dirty, noisy and disgusting place. Not all places are like Gok-Pan mind you. I miss my Yanne. In any case, I am venting: I can't sleep very well in the summer.
People are yelling at 2am on the street. I close my windows and I can still hear them. They scream and scream. Why are they screaming? Because they are drunken bastards who show no respect for the sober ones sleeping! Ay!! People come home drunk to my building, there shoes clicking loudly on the marble floor, cell phone ringers, loud and obnoxious. In my apartment I can do the white glove dust test and find a new, fresh layer of Gok-Pan dust every day on my furniture. Its the heavy industrial type too. Nice, black, fresh!
There are a few empty lots in Gok-pan where people spontaneously throw their refuse and furniture. (See the side bar for the picture of the scarecrow, located in one of those lots) Wild, feral cats walk the street. Some in heat, others looking for food. They tear open those yellow compost bags (see picture on side bar) and eat the food. My building's elevator chimes every three to four minutes; one for arriving and two for the ground floor. People are always slamming their doors. People are yelling at each other in the building. Couples fighting. Couples fucking.
Outside the building the good people of Gok-pan have gathered in front to loiter. Kids play soccer or race each other at night in front of my building. "Go somewhere else!," I yell. They just look at me. The cheap wooden gate that is in front of the ground floor restaurant has been knocked down and ripped away! Even the cafe/bar is closed down, vacated. On the street you hear people yelling and they are only asking for driving directions! If you want a good night's rest, don't live here. Gok-Pan is like that river area of State Line, the California-Nevada area, where all the college and older dudes go party each summer to get drunk on boats and throw their bikini tops off. And then there's the vomit. The main point of this blog entry.
In Gok-Pan vomit paddies line the street like twister-dots of different colors. Each weekend drunken Korean men drink heavily, vomit, stagger home or pass out in taxis. Their heads like chickens, swinging from side to side. Korean vomit is a colorful mix of food and that awful soju drink they like because its cheap and of course, their beer. Korea has these beer brands: Cass, Hite, Cafri and OB Lager-- all are terrible. They're cheap and would not survive a global market if better beer was allowed in without the heavy import tariffs. I could not imagine walking into a Western bar and asking the bartender without a smile, "A Hite draft, please."
One night of last I am riding my bicycle towards the Galbi restaurant a lot of the teachers like in my neighborhood. Suwon is the Galbi capital of Korea but the Galbi (barbecue pork) restaurants in Gok-Pan that serve the delicious delicacy, are not very good. I'm not sure if they really like the food or if it's just convenient for them. It doesn't matter.
Anyway, an older guy in his 50s or 60s, wearing a dark suit, has just left that restaurant, staggering. I follow his zig-zag path from behind him, left to right, then right to left. He is searching for his car keys or cell phone. I think to myself, "god, no! I don't want this fucker driving home. He could hurt someone." Then I realize he is just walking home. As I am passing him on my bike, I turn and look over my left shoulder. His eyes are red and glazed over and there's a steady vomit stream coming out of his mouth. It's yellow and viscous. He is walking and vomiting at the same time. He swallows it, it comes out again. It's on his jacket. It's beer colored. At a nearby table at another restaurant, others are watching him in silence. He is staggering and I am laughing in disgust and amazement of his drunken prowess. Thus spoke the Vomit Man of Gok-pan. I love Korea. I ride away as he turns the corner towards home.
Gok-pan (pronounced Goak) is in Suwon, South Korea. That's where I live. Please don't envy me. I know you do. I hear it in your voices over the phone. You say things like, "when are you coming back to L.A.?" Look, I have a pretty good lifestyle here. I bike to work. I live twenty minutes away. I don't pay rent. I work less than 40 hours a week. I actually am saving money. Of course I teach bratty kids but you knew that. I know you envy me for quitting a great job, selling my car, storing my junk and ejecting myself from the first world of America into a very polluted, noisy, confusing society of Korea that builds first and asks questions later. Well, sorry to disappoint you, Go-Pan fans, it is a dirty, noisy and disgusting place. Not all places are like Gok-Pan mind you. I miss my Yanne. In any case, I am venting: I can't sleep very well in the summer.
People are yelling at 2am on the street. I close my windows and I can still hear them. They scream and scream. Why are they screaming? Because they are drunken bastards who show no respect for the sober ones sleeping! Ay!! People come home drunk to my building, there shoes clicking loudly on the marble floor, cell phone ringers, loud and obnoxious. In my apartment I can do the white glove dust test and find a new, fresh layer of Gok-Pan dust every day on my furniture. Its the heavy industrial type too. Nice, black, fresh!
There are a few empty lots in Gok-pan where people spontaneously throw their refuse and furniture. (See the side bar for the picture of the scarecrow, located in one of those lots) Wild, feral cats walk the street. Some in heat, others looking for food. They tear open those yellow compost bags (see picture on side bar) and eat the food. My building's elevator chimes every three to four minutes; one for arriving and two for the ground floor. People are always slamming their doors. People are yelling at each other in the building. Couples fighting. Couples fucking.
Outside the building the good people of Gok-pan have gathered in front to loiter. Kids play soccer or race each other at night in front of my building. "Go somewhere else!," I yell. They just look at me. The cheap wooden gate that is in front of the ground floor restaurant has been knocked down and ripped away! Even the cafe/bar is closed down, vacated. On the street you hear people yelling and they are only asking for driving directions! If you want a good night's rest, don't live here. Gok-Pan is like that river area of State Line, the California-Nevada area, where all the college and older dudes go party each summer to get drunk on boats and throw their bikini tops off. And then there's the vomit. The main point of this blog entry.
In Gok-Pan vomit paddies line the street like twister-dots of different colors. Each weekend drunken Korean men drink heavily, vomit, stagger home or pass out in taxis. Their heads like chickens, swinging from side to side. Korean vomit is a colorful mix of food and that awful soju drink they like because its cheap and of course, their beer. Korea has these beer brands: Cass, Hite, Cafri and OB Lager-- all are terrible. They're cheap and would not survive a global market if better beer was allowed in without the heavy import tariffs. I could not imagine walking into a Western bar and asking the bartender without a smile, "A Hite draft, please."
One night of last I am riding my bicycle towards the Galbi restaurant a lot of the teachers like in my neighborhood. Suwon is the Galbi capital of Korea but the Galbi (barbecue pork) restaurants in Gok-Pan that serve the delicious delicacy, are not very good. I'm not sure if they really like the food or if it's just convenient for them. It doesn't matter.
Anyway, an older guy in his 50s or 60s, wearing a dark suit, has just left that restaurant, staggering. I follow his zig-zag path from behind him, left to right, then right to left. He is searching for his car keys or cell phone. I think to myself, "god, no! I don't want this fucker driving home. He could hurt someone." Then I realize he is just walking home. As I am passing him on my bike, I turn and look over my left shoulder. His eyes are red and glazed over and there's a steady vomit stream coming out of his mouth. It's yellow and viscous. He is walking and vomiting at the same time. He swallows it, it comes out again. It's on his jacket. It's beer colored. At a nearby table at another restaurant, others are watching him in silence. He is staggering and I am laughing in disgust and amazement of his drunken prowess. Thus spoke the Vomit Man of Gok-pan. I love Korea. I ride away as he turns the corner towards home.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
When coworkers remind you of relatives
One of the nice things about moving 6,900 miles away from the States is that those relatives I didn't like stay at home. At first emails are sent to say "hiya doing" and then after a while, they are no longer on your minds nor theirs. It is the natural order of things: when you are out of sight, you are often out of mind. Especially with those marginal relatives (think cousins, whatevers, etc) who you felt obliged to be nice to and visit on occasion with your mom or dad. They feel a relief too, I imagine. They may ask "how is (insert what's-his/her" name) doing?" but it's often not sincere or genuine. They know by asking by proxy that they are being nice. I'm not complaining, you see. Being so far away gives me an excuse and distance something that I like because when the math is done (simple subtraction), I didn't care for them that much and now it's obvious to them as is to me: nobody cared for each other...They would go to my funeral though.
You could argue that if they really cared about me, in spite of my malfeasance, they could have maintained contact. But, they didn't. You could argue that I should have maintained contact but I didn't. It rinses out in the wash, as they say in that cliche. I'm not complaining, you see.
We put up with our relatives (marginal and others) with their antics, inconsiderate behavior, we give them so much lee-way in being "who they are" simply because they are blood relatives. Who wants that anymore? Hmm. By not communicating with them shown that our culture and society has moved beyond blood ties? Is it the paradox of email that the more convenient it is to communicate, the less we do so? Has "losing" the traditional family arrangement made our society stronger or weaker or just indifferent? Is there anything gained or lost? The great thing about family, you can pick up where you left off from. So, in a month or year or two I could drop by and say "hello" and be welcomed. So, I think.
You could argue that if they really cared about me, in spite of my malfeasance, they could have maintained contact. But, they didn't. You could argue that I should have maintained contact but I didn't. It rinses out in the wash, as they say in that cliche. I'm not complaining, you see.
We put up with our relatives (marginal and others) with their antics, inconsiderate behavior, we give them so much lee-way in being "who they are" simply because they are blood relatives. Who wants that anymore? Hmm. By not communicating with them shown that our culture and society has moved beyond blood ties? Is it the paradox of email that the more convenient it is to communicate, the less we do so? Has "losing" the traditional family arrangement made our society stronger or weaker or just indifferent? Is there anything gained or lost? The great thing about family, you can pick up where you left off from. So, in a month or year or two I could drop by and say "hello" and be welcomed. So, I think.
Oh, yeah! The purpose of this blog entry. Get to it Palmer! Bali-bali, Het-a (that's Korean for hurry up, yo-yo!) There's a coworker here who reminds me of a marginal relative there. I haven't talked to my relative in a long time. My coworker in Korea has very similar personality quirks that bring out in me certain feelings I don't like about my relative/s. I guess I am a little slow but 6,900 miles away I realize that!
That's the latest and greatest from Suwon, the Galbi capital of Korea. Have a great day.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Corn and sweet pickles on my Italian food
Hello. It's me....again. This time I'm angry! Koreans have defiled my beloved Italian food with corn and pickles. Ugh! What's wrong with these people? I'm from New York, pizza is in my soul. This makes me an expert. I'm half Italian too. Like great race horses bred for their genetics, I am bred to know good Italian food! And I am a pizza purist. No pineapple on my pizza! Who thought of that anyway? In the 1980s when Apple computer was fighting the evil empires of IBM and MicroSoft, Apple engineers would be hired for their computer prowess and their like of pineapple pizza. Believe it! I could never have worked there! If I was on a desert island, pizza would be my food choice--made by a big fat, Italian guy named Manucuso, with big sweat stains on his wife beater tee-shirt sayin in broken English: "Wats a madder you!?" Anyway, I am ranting, again.
Here in Korea, they ruin all Italian food by adding bits of yellow corn to the red sauce. I'm totally disgusted; I think I can dismiss a few thousands years of their culture in one full sweep by their decimation of my pizza! I want to start a campaign against corn on pizza. What is it with Americans like me anyway? Always starting some "campaign?"
I've been to several pizza places here in Suwon that serve "Italian" food. They add yellow corn to the sauce or sprinkle it on pizza. It's not a topping, by the way. I don't order it like that. It comes with all Italian sauces built in like those small, triangular smoker's windows found in 1970 Lincoln Continentals IV. Remember those, baby? When you were riding around with your pimp on the east side! :) Palmer is gettin crazy!
Adding yellow corn to Italian food is like the green pepper in your high school cafeteria soup; a hodgepodge of left over vegetables that were dumped into the soup of the day, every day. They don't know what to do with all deez extra veggies, so they figure to make a "soup" and add some broth. That's disgusting too. Might as well eat compost!
Many countries try to imitate european cuisine. The flavors, the spices, the preparation. Korea, like other countries, fuse their food with flavors of Italy and such. They obviously missed out on the Italian lesson of pizza making and food combining. So did my high school cafeteria but they had more sense not to modify pizza in such a way.
Another ugly element is serving Italian food with sweet dill pickles on the side. For example, I went to an "Italian" restuarant and ordered pasta with red sauce. How can you go wrong with dhat? You know what I mean? An Italian restuarant that fails in their red sauce and basic pasta (Pasta Marinara), should not be allowed to continue. Before the entre the waitress brought out sweet pickles, cut, as a side. What is going on??!! I smiled and said thank you. The food came, it sucked. What can I do? This is not America; you can't send the food back. Koreans will loose "face." Believe me, I tried that in 1998 when I found steel wool in my food. My Korean friend argued with the owner to get a new dish made without the steel wool! Ouch!
Suwon, Korea has a failing grade in Italian food. They serve it with yellow corn and sweet pickles. Wait until you get home and eat like a Manucuso!
Here in Korea, they ruin all Italian food by adding bits of yellow corn to the red sauce. I'm totally disgusted; I think I can dismiss a few thousands years of their culture in one full sweep by their decimation of my pizza! I want to start a campaign against corn on pizza. What is it with Americans like me anyway? Always starting some "campaign?"
I've been to several pizza places here in Suwon that serve "Italian" food. They add yellow corn to the sauce or sprinkle it on pizza. It's not a topping, by the way. I don't order it like that. It comes with all Italian sauces built in like those small, triangular smoker's windows found in 1970 Lincoln Continentals IV. Remember those, baby? When you were riding around with your pimp on the east side! :) Palmer is gettin crazy!
Adding yellow corn to Italian food is like the green pepper in your high school cafeteria soup; a hodgepodge of left over vegetables that were dumped into the soup of the day, every day. They don't know what to do with all deez extra veggies, so they figure to make a "soup" and add some broth. That's disgusting too. Might as well eat compost!
Many countries try to imitate european cuisine. The flavors, the spices, the preparation. Korea, like other countries, fuse their food with flavors of Italy and such. They obviously missed out on the Italian lesson of pizza making and food combining. So did my high school cafeteria but they had more sense not to modify pizza in such a way.
Another ugly element is serving Italian food with sweet dill pickles on the side. For example, I went to an "Italian" restuarant and ordered pasta with red sauce. How can you go wrong with dhat? You know what I mean? An Italian restuarant that fails in their red sauce and basic pasta (Pasta Marinara), should not be allowed to continue. Before the entre the waitress brought out sweet pickles, cut, as a side. What is going on??!! I smiled and said thank you. The food came, it sucked. What can I do? This is not America; you can't send the food back. Koreans will loose "face." Believe me, I tried that in 1998 when I found steel wool in my food. My Korean friend argued with the owner to get a new dish made without the steel wool! Ouch!
Suwon, Korea has a failing grade in Italian food. They serve it with yellow corn and sweet pickles. Wait until you get home and eat like a Manucuso!
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Cute Kids Cute Talk?
Hello from the hot and humid side of Suwon, South Korea. It's Palmer in Korea again reporting this time on kid's language acquisition abilities. In other words, the things they say in the classroom.
There's a colleague who got upset about the new and fun way some students are talking in my school. It seems that one of her/his students likes to go around in the classroom and say in English, "Very Sexy!" (the female student pronounces it as: "Very Shasexy") I'm not sure if she learned it from another student or if it's the same student that my other colleague, Bernard, teaches. Some teachers have the same student in different classes during the day. In any case, my colleague was very upset last week and shook a disapproving finger in Bernard's direction. From what I've heard he/she is one of the teacher's currently looking for work elsewhere.
There's another few students who now go around and use the satan like head-banger hand sign you would see in the audience of an AC/DC show. The colleague noticed that too. He/she says this upsets the routine of students. When students need to settle down, the teachers sometimes say, "Show me two fingers...who's quiet?" The students then hold up their right hands and make a "peace" sign and hopefully settle down. Now, it's all shot to hell with satan's handy-work!
If you are cringing blog reader, this will really grab ya! Yesterday I talked to Bernard, he's a bi-lingual Canadian Korean. He told me that that last week one of his young students grabbed her breast and said to him, in Korean, "suck suck" or "milk me." WTF?! She's younger than twelve!
I have a eight year old student who ran up to me at the beginning of class a few weeks ago and said that she wants to be "my lover!" I told her no, I am your teacher. Where do kids model or see this behavior? It's crazy teaching English at a hogwan.
There's a colleague who got upset about the new and fun way some students are talking in my school. It seems that one of her/his students likes to go around in the classroom and say in English, "Very Sexy!" (the female student pronounces it as: "Very Shasexy") I'm not sure if she learned it from another student or if it's the same student that my other colleague, Bernard, teaches. Some teachers have the same student in different classes during the day. In any case, my colleague was very upset last week and shook a disapproving finger in Bernard's direction. From what I've heard he/she is one of the teacher's currently looking for work elsewhere.
There's another few students who now go around and use the satan like head-banger hand sign you would see in the audience of an AC/DC show. The colleague noticed that too. He/she says this upsets the routine of students. When students need to settle down, the teachers sometimes say, "Show me two fingers...who's quiet?" The students then hold up their right hands and make a "peace" sign and hopefully settle down. Now, it's all shot to hell with satan's handy-work!
If you are cringing blog reader, this will really grab ya! Yesterday I talked to Bernard, he's a bi-lingual Canadian Korean. He told me that that last week one of his young students grabbed her breast and said to him, in Korean, "suck suck" or "milk me." WTF?! She's younger than twelve!
I have a eight year old student who ran up to me at the beginning of class a few weeks ago and said that she wants to be "my lover!" I told her no, I am your teacher. Where do kids model or see this behavior? It's crazy teaching English at a hogwan.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Update on my probation, part III
Hello blog readers of the world! Here is the third and not last installment of "Matt on probation." I met with the Director and the owner of said hogwan of Suwon, South Korea. What bullshit did flow from the former's mouth!
First, here is the letter I wrote to them in response to two letters the Director wrote me on May 30 and June 17.
J=Director D=Owner L=Other big wig person
Letter Number One
Sent on Fri, 6/20/08, Matt Palmer <> wrote:
From: Matt Palmer
To: Director and Owner
Friday, June 20, 2008
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this letter to clarify my thoughts and position on what has transpired between me, staff and management at MBESL (MBS) before and during my probation. Please read it as factual. It is not meant to place any party on the defense; it is merely explaining events, as they unfolded, and my feelings—as I hope to convey—in an assessment of myself and MBS over the past few months. It is also written to show some inconsistencies of admonishment and offer solutions, when possible.
In our meeting on Friday, May 30 the subject was my admonishment for my classroom act on May 29. During the meeting with J, D and L, I think D was correct in his assessment about my teaching preferences; I do prefer teaching older students, middle school and above. Although my IEP3 of ten/eleven year olds is generally good and their high English learning ability great, they are sometimes incredibly “bratty” and act spoiled. My KP class is fun but I think I prefer teaching older kids and less “baby sitting” as I do in my lunch class. Per that meeting D said he would look for a suitable school that needs my skills. I agreed to this solution. This would mean, as your June 17 written letter stated, MBS releasing me from work.
The “rough housing” event on occurred in a combined class in my EAS 3 class on the afternoon of Thursday, May 29. In the meeting w/ L et al on May 30, and in your subsequent admonishment letter dated June 17, there was no mentioned of the other teacher involved on the May 29 event nor was he admonished for his part in “rough housing.” My class was combined with his students, in his classroom and I got admonished for “rough housing.” Is this fair? The staff meeting on Tuesday, May 27 said no rough games. If a no “rough housing” rule is MBS policy, why did not the other teacher get a warning or placed on probation for his involvement? Why wasn’t he talked to about it? In fact, I was told that he got an apology from J. This makes it seem that the “rough housing” policy applies only to me. This is inconsistent and sends a confusing message to staff for meting out punishment at will. If the rule just applied to me, that’s fine, but the meeting was for all staff so that means all are included. I was obviously singled out. This creates a hostile work environment (for me) when someone is singled out for behaviors while others are not.
That event of May 29 makes me think that J may be personally upset with me, outside of work with non-related work issues which may have caused him to single me out for the May 29th event. I personally don’t know if this is true but if he does feel some ill will towards me, then I think he should just have told me. Maybe that would explain why I was singled out. I know other teachers have had games that involve physical activities and some “rough housing” but they don’t get caught.
The follow up to the May 30th meeting slated for June 13th, never happened nor was there any contact from management about re-scheduling it with me. I know that J was here that day because I spoke to him in front of the post office after he had come back from a doctor’s visit. If management means what they say, shouldn’t they not miss a meeting? And, if there were problems meeting with me that day, there should have been an email to re-schedule. It wasn’t clear if I was still on probation which ended on June 13 or not. I think it's management's responsibility to clarify and follow through on details such as this.
In J’s second letter of admonishment dated Tuesday, June 17, he did not like that I had negative comments about students. In an email I sent to J dated June 5, I was told him that my lunch class is too “unsettled to play any sort of game play” and that “they don't listen; they run around and when they do play games, they argue and yell.” And “they listen really well to Helen but she needs to raise her voice constantly over the din of noise.” Then on June 10, I wrote to J in an email that during my lunch class “I had to call in (lady's name) to calm [them] down the lunch hour class. Jack and Harry were particularly loud today and were not good students today according to tara .”
I have a right to complain to the Director, that I am frustrated with my lunch class behavior especially when students create a non-learning environment for all. If I have negative comments about them then he should know. Around Tuesday, June 16 I was telling a teacher in the staff area downstairs that our student, named Harry, threw his chopsticks and spoon case at me for no apparent reason during lunch. Why should I accept such behavior? Why should a student like Harry not get a call to his mom? The teacher takes it too personally—it’s not her fault. Of course I would have negative comments about students who treat me this way!
Also, I think that the Teacher Partner is overwhelmed with our lunch class. She constantly needs to yell at them to have them settled down and though she does a good job at controlling the kids, they are very wild and under the influence of several “bad” students including Harry and Jack.
In the letter of June 17, I was not making a statement about another teacher’s performance in the classroom; that was taken out of context. I was telling the other teacher that her student was acting up. It’s not the teacher’s fault for Harry’s behavior. She got upset about it because on other occasions, I’ve told her about other student’s behavior, like Jack and Joshua’s. I’ve personally told her about their behavior and even a few parents wrote about Jack’s behavior affecting their son/daughter’s learning in those red MBS books the kids take home.
I still don’t know what J is referring to in his letter of June 17 about “rudely stating that” I had work to do. It was vague... I know that I was venting that I had work to do for a class to do but I don’t think I was being rude. And what did I say? Who did I say it to? What was the context?
I don’t understand what J wrote about “Do no speak to J about what I do in the classroom.” What does this mean? Please clarify.
I appreciate D looking for a school for me but I don’t think it is such a good idea now. In the June 17 letter is says that I “will be leaving” MBS. This means that I am being released or terminated. Please clarify. Thank you.
Best regards,
Matthew
First, here is the letter I wrote to them in response to two letters the Director wrote me on May 30 and June 17.
J=Director D=Owner L=Other big wig person
Letter Number One
Sent on Fri, 6/20/08, Matt Palmer <> wrote:
From: Matt Palmer
To: Director and Owner
Friday, June 20, 2008
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this letter to clarify my thoughts and position on what has transpired between me, staff and management at MBESL (MBS) before and during my probation. Please read it as factual. It is not meant to place any party on the defense; it is merely explaining events, as they unfolded, and my feelings—as I hope to convey—in an assessment of myself and MBS over the past few months. It is also written to show some inconsistencies of admonishment and offer solutions, when possible.
In our meeting on Friday, May 30 the subject was my admonishment for my classroom act on May 29. During the meeting with J, D and L, I think D was correct in his assessment about my teaching preferences; I do prefer teaching older students, middle school and above. Although my IEP3 of ten/eleven year olds is generally good and their high English learning ability great, they are sometimes incredibly “bratty” and act spoiled. My KP class is fun but I think I prefer teaching older kids and less “baby sitting” as I do in my lunch class. Per that meeting D said he would look for a suitable school that needs my skills. I agreed to this solution. This would mean, as your June 17 written letter stated, MBS releasing me from work.
The “rough housing” event on occurred in a combined class in my EAS 3 class on the afternoon of Thursday, May 29. In the meeting w/ L et al on May 30, and in your subsequent admonishment letter dated June 17, there was no mentioned of the other teacher involved on the May 29 event nor was he admonished for his part in “rough housing.” My class was combined with his students, in his classroom and I got admonished for “rough housing.” Is this fair? The staff meeting on Tuesday, May 27 said no rough games. If a no “rough housing” rule is MBS policy, why did not the other teacher get a warning or placed on probation for his involvement? Why wasn’t he talked to about it? In fact, I was told that he got an apology from J. This makes it seem that the “rough housing” policy applies only to me. This is inconsistent and sends a confusing message to staff for meting out punishment at will. If the rule just applied to me, that’s fine, but the meeting was for all staff so that means all are included. I was obviously singled out. This creates a hostile work environment (for me) when someone is singled out for behaviors while others are not.
That event of May 29 makes me think that J may be personally upset with me, outside of work with non-related work issues which may have caused him to single me out for the May 29th event. I personally don’t know if this is true but if he does feel some ill will towards me, then I think he should just have told me. Maybe that would explain why I was singled out. I know other teachers have had games that involve physical activities and some “rough housing” but they don’t get caught.
The follow up to the May 30th meeting slated for June 13th, never happened nor was there any contact from management about re-scheduling it with me. I know that J was here that day because I spoke to him in front of the post office after he had come back from a doctor’s visit. If management means what they say, shouldn’t they not miss a meeting? And, if there were problems meeting with me that day, there should have been an email to re-schedule. It wasn’t clear if I was still on probation which ended on June 13 or not. I think it's management's responsibility to clarify and follow through on details such as this.
In J’s second letter of admonishment dated Tuesday, June 17, he did not like that I had negative comments about students. In an email I sent to J dated June 5, I was told him that my lunch class is too “unsettled to play any sort of game play” and that “they don't listen; they run around and when they do play games, they argue and yell.” And “they listen really well to Helen but she needs to raise her voice constantly over the din of noise.” Then on June 10, I wrote to J in an email that during my lunch class “I had to call in (lady's name) to calm [them] down the lunch hour class. Jack and Harry were particularly loud today and were not good students today according to tara .”
I have a right to complain to the Director, that I am frustrated with my lunch class behavior especially when students create a non-learning environment for all. If I have negative comments about them then he should know. Around Tuesday, June 16 I was telling a teacher in the staff area downstairs that our student, named Harry, threw his chopsticks and spoon case at me for no apparent reason during lunch. Why should I accept such behavior? Why should a student like Harry not get a call to his mom? The teacher takes it too personally—it’s not her fault. Of course I would have negative comments about students who treat me this way!
Also, I think that the Teacher Partner is overwhelmed with our lunch class. She constantly needs to yell at them to have them settled down and though she does a good job at controlling the kids, they are very wild and under the influence of several “bad” students including Harry and Jack.
In the letter of June 17, I was not making a statement about another teacher’s performance in the classroom; that was taken out of context. I was telling the other teacher that her student was acting up. It’s not the teacher’s fault for Harry’s behavior. She got upset about it because on other occasions, I’ve told her about other student’s behavior, like Jack and Joshua’s. I’ve personally told her about their behavior and even a few parents wrote about Jack’s behavior affecting their son/daughter’s learning in those red MBS books the kids take home.
I still don’t know what J is referring to in his letter of June 17 about “rudely stating that” I had work to do. It was vague... I know that I was venting that I had work to do for a class to do but I don’t think I was being rude. And what did I say? Who did I say it to? What was the context?
I don’t understand what J wrote about “Do no speak to J about what I do in the classroom.” What does this mean? Please clarify.
I appreciate D looking for a school for me but I don’t think it is such a good idea now. In the June 17 letter is says that I “will be leaving” MBS. This means that I am being released or terminated. Please clarify. Thank you.
Best regards,
Matthew
Tutoring in Korea
On Monday I was sitting outside Coffee Bean at HomePlus in Yongtong, a large urban area of Suwon, South Korea. Good shopping, restaurants line the streets. Cafes and their ilk line the darkened alleys on the slippery side of Suwon. Sipping my $4.00 iced coffee and reading “Groove” magazine under a large outdoor umbrella, a strange Korean man, in his late thirties, started talking to me.
“Hello,” he asked. He disturbed my thinking; I came to like leaving a dream.
“Yes?” I said. He was carrying a plastic shopping bag.
“I would like to speak English with you,” he said.
“Hi, sure… sit down,” I replied. He was dressed in dark grey slacks, white shirt, tucked in with a new or unused black belt. It was hot but he was not sweating, the way Koreans don’t sweat or even smell after sweating. They smell like garlic and kim chi, sometimes. It’s not strange to have Koreans want to practice their Korean with westerners. I took this as part of my adventure in Korea.
We talked small talk. It was a bit uncomfortable for him. He would shift in his sit trying to find a position. I positioned myself at a 45 degree angle to him and maintained eye contact and asked questions about what he wanted to accomplish in his English study with me not knowing if I wanted to teach him at all.
“My English is okay but I want to improve,” he said. His English accent was good, his pronunciation good--in the way that Koreans enunciate. I could tell he was educated but not sure of his background. “I want to work on idioms. And improve my English.”
“What do you do?” I asked always a good introduction to someone.
He mumbled.
“Are you in business?” I asked again. “Education?”
He replied: “I am interested in making a place to help old people…”
I asked what he meant. I quickly figured out that he was not working. “A Korean man not working?” I thought to myself. Something is odd about that. In fact, Korea still has a dichotomy of men working, and women raising the family. A one-tier system which is great for raising kids—no strangers from Mexico or Latin America as illegal nannies, entrusted with the delicate care of your son or daughter-- but Korean men work insufferable hours and are expected to socialize and drink, a lot. The upsides are better, I think, for now.
“I want to make a campus,” he continued. “It will help them learn…”
“Like a school?” I asked. “You want to create a school?”
“I want to make a campus. Teaching the bible.”
“Ah, I see. You want to start a church?.”
“This will be a campus to educate people on living…good.”
“Well, this guys a freakin fruit cake,” I thought. “He’s crazy. For Jesus’ sake, why me? Do I have a sign that says: "Will tutor Krazy Koreans?" Go bother someone else.” Well, I had nothing to do at that moment, and wanting to be the friendly foreigner, I was interested in learning more about his church idea and give him a chance to redeem himself.
“Let’s see how you write,” I asked. “I think it will give me a better idea of your language skills. Please write a short paragraph on what you did this past weekend.”
He wrote for five minutes. Jesus!
His paragraph was over half a page. He described going to some Korean mountain where he could “breathe” and had a “vision” of starting his bible campus. “This guy is really waco!” I said to myself. I’m sure there are hundreds of people in Suwon who want to be tutored in business English or to improve their skills but this guy wants me to help improve his English for recruiting neophytes for his cult!
I corrected his grammar and sentence structure. He thought his written English was good but he was wrong. I was nice and showed him how to make his English more strong by rephrasing and making his sentences more succinct; unlike this piece I am writing.
We talked more. I told him I may have time to tutor him. He gave me his number; I gave him my co-workers cell phone number, hope he doesn’t mind helping starting a cult! Hehe.
“Hello,” he asked. He disturbed my thinking; I came to like leaving a dream.
“Yes?” I said. He was carrying a plastic shopping bag.
“I would like to speak English with you,” he said.
“Hi, sure… sit down,” I replied. He was dressed in dark grey slacks, white shirt, tucked in with a new or unused black belt. It was hot but he was not sweating, the way Koreans don’t sweat or even smell after sweating. They smell like garlic and kim chi, sometimes. It’s not strange to have Koreans want to practice their Korean with westerners. I took this as part of my adventure in Korea.
We talked small talk. It was a bit uncomfortable for him. He would shift in his sit trying to find a position. I positioned myself at a 45 degree angle to him and maintained eye contact and asked questions about what he wanted to accomplish in his English study with me not knowing if I wanted to teach him at all.
“My English is okay but I want to improve,” he said. His English accent was good, his pronunciation good--in the way that Koreans enunciate. I could tell he was educated but not sure of his background. “I want to work on idioms. And improve my English.”
“What do you do?” I asked always a good introduction to someone.
He mumbled.
“Are you in business?” I asked again. “Education?”
He replied: “I am interested in making a place to help old people…”
I asked what he meant. I quickly figured out that he was not working. “A Korean man not working?” I thought to myself. Something is odd about that. In fact, Korea still has a dichotomy of men working, and women raising the family. A one-tier system which is great for raising kids—no strangers from Mexico or Latin America as illegal nannies, entrusted with the delicate care of your son or daughter-- but Korean men work insufferable hours and are expected to socialize and drink, a lot. The upsides are better, I think, for now.
“I want to make a campus,” he continued. “It will help them learn…”
“Like a school?” I asked. “You want to create a school?”
“I want to make a campus. Teaching the bible.”
“Ah, I see. You want to start a church?.”
“This will be a campus to educate people on living…good.”
“Well, this guys a freakin fruit cake,” I thought. “He’s crazy. For Jesus’ sake, why me? Do I have a sign that says: "Will tutor Krazy Koreans?" Go bother someone else.” Well, I had nothing to do at that moment, and wanting to be the friendly foreigner, I was interested in learning more about his church idea and give him a chance to redeem himself.
“Let’s see how you write,” I asked. “I think it will give me a better idea of your language skills. Please write a short paragraph on what you did this past weekend.”
He wrote for five minutes. Jesus!
His paragraph was over half a page. He described going to some Korean mountain where he could “breathe” and had a “vision” of starting his bible campus. “This guy is really waco!” I said to myself. I’m sure there are hundreds of people in Suwon who want to be tutored in business English or to improve their skills but this guy wants me to help improve his English for recruiting neophytes for his cult!
I corrected his grammar and sentence structure. He thought his written English was good but he was wrong. I was nice and showed him how to make his English more strong by rephrasing and making his sentences more succinct; unlike this piece I am writing.
We talked more. I told him I may have time to tutor him. He gave me his number; I gave him my co-workers cell phone number, hope he doesn’t mind helping starting a cult! Hehe.
2Pac or two forks
One of my students in lunch class today, call her Angel, was very excited to show me her two new forks. These are kids forks. Small, plastic handles metal prongs with some “cool” cartoon character on it—is there research to support that kids really like cartoon characters on forks or is it the brain washing of the parents think that the kids would go crazy over forks? Some of you know that I help assist in the constant clean up of rice on the floor and the daily yell fest at Jack and Harry to either sit down and or to stop running around. Anyway, she says to me, “Teacher, 2Pac!”
“What?” I said. I couldn’t believe what I heard. How does she know about 2Pac? She’s a cute, five year old Korean girl in the middle of Korea; where mosquitoes fly, dust never settles and the constant sound of construction and traffic makes you angry and crazy. Does she have a 2Pac character on her backpack or on her fork? Do her parents groove to the angry and disenchanted sounds and lyrics of American Gangsta rap when they’re not busy working 12 hour days and payin (payin!!) $800 a month for their Angel to attend an elitist Canadian English school?
I asked her again. She says, “two pac.” Oh, I think: Two forks. She’s saying two forks. Hmm. They are nice forks, Angel. I correct her by saying. “Two forks,” and she smiles and goes back to eating slowly, the way kids eat. Can’t bottle or sell that cuteness!
“What?” I said. I couldn’t believe what I heard. How does she know about 2Pac? She’s a cute, five year old Korean girl in the middle of Korea; where mosquitoes fly, dust never settles and the constant sound of construction and traffic makes you angry and crazy. Does she have a 2Pac character on her backpack or on her fork? Do her parents groove to the angry and disenchanted sounds and lyrics of American Gangsta rap when they’re not busy working 12 hour days and payin (payin!!) $800 a month for their Angel to attend an elitist Canadian English school?
I asked her again. She says, “two pac.” Oh, I think: Two forks. She’s saying two forks. Hmm. They are nice forks, Angel. I correct her by saying. “Two forks,” and she smiles and goes back to eating slowly, the way kids eat. Can’t bottle or sell that cuteness!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Head Cold
Everyone gets sick. Flu, coughs, colds. Then there is the impervious head cold. The sinus congestion, the stuffy nose, the boxes of tissues or the cheap roll of toilet paper, always handy and ready for blowing your nose or other clean up uses! The head cold never abates in its making of mucus. That soft, sticky green and white material that the body seems to over produce like some OPEC production scheme during the long hot, summers!
This past week I’ve had a head cold. It various from congestion in the morning to free and easy breathing in the afternoon. A few nights of interrupted sleep, lots of water and fluids, going to the gym and some late nights eating McDonald's ice cream with a friend has helped it except in the area of mucus. Yes, blog reader, mucus. It’s disgusting and my Western body is over producing it like a mad OPEC Sheik hell bent on flooding American with its sticky and green viscous fluid in hopes of causing a shortage of tissue paper in the vicinity of Korea! Buy your Kleenex stock now! This is not a spam fax warning!
I blow my nose, then I blow it again and again, my ears feel like I am coming up from a long dive in the ocean. The air and sound become clearer until…I blow my nose again! Wow! I’ve never had some much mucus! I must say it’s pretty disgusting, really. It’s a normal color, in case you’re worried or not, but nonetheless, the abundance is so great that I need to share with you my mucus memories from my nose membranes!
In Korea people are helpful. It’s part of their culture and when you go to a supermarket or shop, they follow you, they help you, they talk to you. It’s great only…when Palmer needs to release the mucus--he doesn’t want to be bothered. I find a quiet corner and blow my nose. But there’s so many people here! They followed me to the corner! Oh, blog reader. I just want to blow in piece. It’s not normal blowing, after all I have a head cold, but a long, drawn out drone of gooey snot that evacuates my nose in spurts of white, messy goo! Yuck. They say that sneezing mimics the human organism well; blowing my nose is a close second. I feel a gigantic release; endorphins are on a postal rage, my wet napkin filled and easily useable for a giant spit ball; my lungs heave and relax followed by a feeling of peace. But in Korea I can’t have peace or a proper release because they want to be where the action is! I just want solitude during my nose moment, really. They want to help; tissues are offered even a cup of tea. My students have impeccable timing and finish their difficult assignment just when I am in the middle of my first nose evacuation. I turn my back; they turn with me. “Teacher, I’m finished” they yell. “great, great,” I say, “please sit down, I am trying to blow my nose!.” They make little comments, as they should, they run away, as they should. Snot is a messy clean up production!
Today’s snot report is fair to midland. It’s good. I don’t feel sick. Mucus is normal but a lot. After a bike ride to my job, it is really a fun event when I rush to the supply room with a half a roll of toilet paper and let it go! You could me say the occasional, “that’s disgusting” or “wow, that’s amazing” coming from deep in the supply room. The part time grandmother, our lunch lady who fixes the kids lunches, rushes in for my status and well being. “I’m okay,” I tell her. She walks away disappointed or something. I hurt her feelings, possibly.
This past week I’ve had a head cold. It various from congestion in the morning to free and easy breathing in the afternoon. A few nights of interrupted sleep, lots of water and fluids, going to the gym and some late nights eating McDonald's ice cream with a friend has helped it except in the area of mucus. Yes, blog reader, mucus. It’s disgusting and my Western body is over producing it like a mad OPEC Sheik hell bent on flooding American with its sticky and green viscous fluid in hopes of causing a shortage of tissue paper in the vicinity of Korea! Buy your Kleenex stock now! This is not a spam fax warning!
I blow my nose, then I blow it again and again, my ears feel like I am coming up from a long dive in the ocean. The air and sound become clearer until…I blow my nose again! Wow! I’ve never had some much mucus! I must say it’s pretty disgusting, really. It’s a normal color, in case you’re worried or not, but nonetheless, the abundance is so great that I need to share with you my mucus memories from my nose membranes!
In Korea people are helpful. It’s part of their culture and when you go to a supermarket or shop, they follow you, they help you, they talk to you. It’s great only…when Palmer needs to release the mucus--he doesn’t want to be bothered. I find a quiet corner and blow my nose. But there’s so many people here! They followed me to the corner! Oh, blog reader. I just want to blow in piece. It’s not normal blowing, after all I have a head cold, but a long, drawn out drone of gooey snot that evacuates my nose in spurts of white, messy goo! Yuck. They say that sneezing mimics the human organism well; blowing my nose is a close second. I feel a gigantic release; endorphins are on a postal rage, my wet napkin filled and easily useable for a giant spit ball; my lungs heave and relax followed by a feeling of peace. But in Korea I can’t have peace or a proper release because they want to be where the action is! I just want solitude during my nose moment, really. They want to help; tissues are offered even a cup of tea. My students have impeccable timing and finish their difficult assignment just when I am in the middle of my first nose evacuation. I turn my back; they turn with me. “Teacher, I’m finished” they yell. “great, great,” I say, “please sit down, I am trying to blow my nose!.” They make little comments, as they should, they run away, as they should. Snot is a messy clean up production!
Today’s snot report is fair to midland. It’s good. I don’t feel sick. Mucus is normal but a lot. After a bike ride to my job, it is really a fun event when I rush to the supply room with a half a roll of toilet paper and let it go! You could me say the occasional, “that’s disgusting” or “wow, that’s amazing” coming from deep in the supply room. The part time grandmother, our lunch lady who fixes the kids lunches, rushes in for my status and well being. “I’m okay,” I tell her. She walks away disappointed or something. I hurt her feelings, possibly.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Update on my probation
Hello again from Korea. The Land of the Morning Calm to the uninitiated, intentionally or not. My follow up meeting to my two week probation period ended on Friday last but the Director forgot to meet! Nice management skills, eh blog reader? What does that mean? Who cares. I guess I am in "the clear." No fire in the hole. No admonishment. Nothing.
My other colleagues are a disgruntled bunch, kind reader. One quit, another is looking for another job and will resign upon her contract signing elsewhere; another just hates it but will stay because she needs the cash, one teacher will fulfill her contract duties in late August but hates her students. She only likes seven out of fifty. Not bad odds if you were in Vegas but as a ESL teacher, not so goot (intentionally misspelled to imitate some of the kids pronunciation which is often cute)! They are cute, sometimes.
Bernard and I discussed creating a "hate index" that measures teacher's range of hate from one to ten, ten being most hating of thus job and one being loving it. Most fall in the 8 to 10 range of "hating" it. As you can surmise, morale sucks at the school. It's difficult teaching kids and these kids are often spoiled brats including some of mine. We run a pure, capitalist revenue model at my institute. So, when kids act up and are repeatingly warned not to throw their utensils at Mr. Matthew (that's my teaching moniker, dig?) they are not suitably punished by imprisonment, etc. Anyway, I haven't been blessed with cleaning up poop and I won't because I won't do that shit, no pun from the bun--intended. Holy Hay-Zeus, I am a rhyming poet tonight! My hate level is about five and can shoot up to ten like it did last Friday.
On Friday last I was tired and looking forward to teaching my favorite class, an advance bunch of kids all around 11 years. As a reward for their hard work during the week, I decided to play Uno with them. Those little buggers played one game and then decided to "rig" the deck so that everyone won the game except me. Much better odds than Vegas but not so cute because they didn't want to play Uno afterwards. That leaves about 45 minutes to keep them occupied. I was tired and wanted to play games but I won't reward them on Friday's anymore. They were ultra bratty on Friday.
One of my goals coming to Korea was to save money. I am saving money here and I still plan to go to graduate school next year and now that Yanne is in my life, I am not grumpy in spite of my fluctuating level of hate.
My other colleagues are a disgruntled bunch, kind reader. One quit, another is looking for another job and will resign upon her contract signing elsewhere; another just hates it but will stay because she needs the cash, one teacher will fulfill her contract duties in late August but hates her students. She only likes seven out of fifty. Not bad odds if you were in Vegas but as a ESL teacher, not so goot (intentionally misspelled to imitate some of the kids pronunciation which is often cute)! They are cute, sometimes.
Bernard and I discussed creating a "hate index" that measures teacher's range of hate from one to ten, ten being most hating of thus job and one being loving it. Most fall in the 8 to 10 range of "hating" it. As you can surmise, morale sucks at the school. It's difficult teaching kids and these kids are often spoiled brats including some of mine. We run a pure, capitalist revenue model at my institute. So, when kids act up and are repeatingly warned not to throw their utensils at Mr. Matthew (that's my teaching moniker, dig?) they are not suitably punished by imprisonment, etc. Anyway, I haven't been blessed with cleaning up poop and I won't because I won't do that shit, no pun from the bun--intended. Holy Hay-Zeus, I am a rhyming poet tonight! My hate level is about five and can shoot up to ten like it did last Friday.
On Friday last I was tired and looking forward to teaching my favorite class, an advance bunch of kids all around 11 years. As a reward for their hard work during the week, I decided to play Uno with them. Those little buggers played one game and then decided to "rig" the deck so that everyone won the game except me. Much better odds than Vegas but not so cute because they didn't want to play Uno afterwards. That leaves about 45 minutes to keep them occupied. I was tired and wanted to play games but I won't reward them on Friday's anymore. They were ultra bratty on Friday.
One of my goals coming to Korea was to save money. I am saving money here and I still plan to go to graduate school next year and now that Yanne is in my life, I am not grumpy in spite of my fluctuating level of hate.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
A weekend in Taipei
Hello again mighty blog readers of new and old. I spent the best weekend of my life in May of 2008 in Taipei connecting again with Yanne. Yanne and her mom were there vacationing Asia, a world tour of sorts meeting with relatives and enjoying themselves from China to Hong Kong to Macau and Taiwan. The flight from Seoul, Korea to Taipei, Taiwan is about two hours. It was a perfect weekend "get away" for the most important moment in my life, to meet with Yanne again. Dramatic!
Here are some pictures!
Here are some pictures!
Probation, parole are they the same in Korea?
Some of you may know that the school placed me on probation or is it parole? Parole is after you serve in prison which may be an apt analogy working for this language institute the past month or two. Its management is not very good and if you go by the other teacher's low morale, they are waiting for their sentences to end and released for home.
I am on probation. I will meet with the owner, directors and a Seoul administrator this Friday or possibly earlier to decide my fate at the unnamed aforementioned language institute of Suwon, South Korea.
Last week the director didn't like my kids playing games because the danger that they could hurt themselves. When two classes of 15 students combine, they get loud and a little rowdy. Andrew, a student of mine and a girl from Bernard's class (he's another teacher) were play wrestling, kicking each other during a combined class play time. Bernard and I sometimes combine classes so the kids can play games. Andrew and his crush were lightly kicking each other and having fun when the director walked in and threw a fit. White men never look good angry; they look like tomatoes. So, I am on probation. Or is it parole? Bernard did not get reprimanded. We were playing games in his classroom with his students and his girl student was one of the culprits that got me busted for "rough housing." Later that week the director apologized to Bernard for raising his voice and disrupting his class. That was nice of him!
The owner is looking to place me in another school who needs a teacher. I may transfer to another school or be asked to leave or knowing the history of this institute, get a slap on the wrist. If I am not fired, I may just give my resignation notice. It takes a lot of resources to secure a new teacher especially in Suwon, not the most popular city of Korea. I think management will not secure me another job which will mean that I stay, give notice to leave or they fire me, sending me back to Los Angeles, a little earlier than planned.
On a related item, I went to Taipei last weekend to meet with Yanne and her mom. Yanne and I are now planning our lives together and we may live in Korea or Taiwan or even China. If I am still in Korea, she may come and live with me or both of us jet to Taipei or Beijing to teach, learn the language and be together for a wonderful adventure. She is thinking of all options as she is in a career transition. I can't tell you how excited I am that she is in my life!! It's unbelievable!! She is the most beautiful woman in the world!!
I've posted my resume for jobs in Taipei. Stay tuned.
I am on probation. I will meet with the owner, directors and a Seoul administrator this Friday or possibly earlier to decide my fate at the unnamed aforementioned language institute of Suwon, South Korea.
Last week the director didn't like my kids playing games because the danger that they could hurt themselves. When two classes of 15 students combine, they get loud and a little rowdy. Andrew, a student of mine and a girl from Bernard's class (he's another teacher) were play wrestling, kicking each other during a combined class play time. Bernard and I sometimes combine classes so the kids can play games. Andrew and his crush were lightly kicking each other and having fun when the director walked in and threw a fit. White men never look good angry; they look like tomatoes. So, I am on probation. Or is it parole? Bernard did not get reprimanded. We were playing games in his classroom with his students and his girl student was one of the culprits that got me busted for "rough housing." Later that week the director apologized to Bernard for raising his voice and disrupting his class. That was nice of him!
The owner is looking to place me in another school who needs a teacher. I may transfer to another school or be asked to leave or knowing the history of this institute, get a slap on the wrist. If I am not fired, I may just give my resignation notice. It takes a lot of resources to secure a new teacher especially in Suwon, not the most popular city of Korea. I think management will not secure me another job which will mean that I stay, give notice to leave or they fire me, sending me back to Los Angeles, a little earlier than planned.
On a related item, I went to Taipei last weekend to meet with Yanne and her mom. Yanne and I are now planning our lives together and we may live in Korea or Taiwan or even China. If I am still in Korea, she may come and live with me or both of us jet to Taipei or Beijing to teach, learn the language and be together for a wonderful adventure. She is thinking of all options as she is in a career transition. I can't tell you how excited I am that she is in my life!! It's unbelievable!! She is the most beautiful woman in the world!!
I've posted my resume for jobs in Taipei. Stay tuned.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Korean Students are So Nice!
Yes, blog reader, Korean students can be so nice and complimentary to their hard working "Sung-sang-nims" or teachers. I traveled 6,500 miles from Los Angeles to Suwon to be called: Poop, monkey, dirty, dungy and Red-eyes. My student over whelming think my hair line is that of a monkey's and that I smell like poop, am dirty and supreme dung (crap) maker. Maybe my lesson plans are crap and for sure my eyes are blood shot from the constant assault of pollution and dust from riding my 80 dollar bicycle to work. I can see how my receding hair line can resemble a monkey...but, reader, I really revel in the joy of teaching and gloat like the capitalist I am! Think of it: I am indoctrinating them into Western ways and guiding them with the invisible hand of capitalism so when they are college graduates and start their jobs, they will speak English and buy Western products! I am doing my share of "keeping America strong." I feel so patriotic. I especially like how these students do not withhold their thoughts or feelings towards me or each other for that matter.
Last week I had a student throw her binder at me in frustration. Half her homework was completed; she did not understand the other half of the assignment. So, she decided throwing her binder would be the best solution. Off to the Director's office I sent her, in tears. She cried and cried. She was sorry. Really. I think.
The week before a student charged at me like I was a matador in a bullpen in Spain; brave blog reader I dislodged like a matador master the over weight bundle of fat into Never land--and when he returns from MJ's place he will only be squealing like a pig.
Most recently a student decided it would be funny to just fart at me. I am not paid enough money to put up with this monkey crap. He laughed and I punished him by wrapping his head in cloth and water boarding him in the kid's sink while his classmates laughed and made fun of him. Take that "Bong-goo" (fart) boy! Nice "so called" friends, too.
Yesterday, Dio, who's back from some sort of sabbatical from my class, decides to just let a lot of his drool foam up and foment all over his right side of his mouth and face. It was disgusting and he wanted a reaction from me. I made him wash his face in the classroom sink. Remember Dio? He was the really lazy, and somewhat slow moving boy who's mom met with me a month ago. The school was upset about the loss of him and a few other of my students. The Director, Assistant Director, the Owner and the parents met with me to discuss the situation. Well, she later pulled him from my class; now he's back. He even tells me now that he "loves" me. He has improved his writing skills during that interim, perhaps thanks is due to his better and more competent teacher named Tracy. Or it could be that his mom got all over his lazy ass and told him to stop being so lazy? I dunno.
Then there's Peter, a student who I watch during my lunch hour in another teacher's class. Part of my job is to help administer lunch every day for one hour. Today, Peter, holding his crotch and doing the universal "pee pee" dance, needed to pee badly. I told him to run fast like "bali bali" (very fast) and so he drops his pants right there in class. His naked ass revealed; the students are so nonchalant, they continue eating, yelling. Then Peter realizes that the bathroom is 25 feet away and so pulls up his trousers and dashes off to the restroom. Yes, I am in combat some of the time.
I guess I am just venting. It definitely beats working for Bill and having to call Armani of Beverly Hills to arrange for a suit fitting for him with their visiting Italian tailor or the time when his wife missed her limo to JFK in New York City and me, being so inept, left the limo company his wife's cell phone number as a back up. Of course the company called her cell phone to say they were waiting for her. She never got the message because she doesn't use or bring her cell phone!! She took a cab to JFK--how pedestrian. I was supposed to ask Bill first about his wife's cell number...Or how about the time when Bill would constantly re-arrange his calendar to fit in more important business meetings than meet with students; after all, he is a professor and business and Board meetings are more important than the lowly needs of students. Or the times when...don't get me started, blog reader! I definitely don't wipe anyone's ass anymore! I don't wipe asses here either except mine, of course!
Last week I had a student throw her binder at me in frustration. Half her homework was completed; she did not understand the other half of the assignment. So, she decided throwing her binder would be the best solution. Off to the Director's office I sent her, in tears. She cried and cried. She was sorry. Really. I think.
The week before a student charged at me like I was a matador in a bullpen in Spain; brave blog reader I dislodged like a matador master the over weight bundle of fat into Never land--and when he returns from MJ's place he will only be squealing like a pig.
Most recently a student decided it would be funny to just fart at me. I am not paid enough money to put up with this monkey crap. He laughed and I punished him by wrapping his head in cloth and water boarding him in the kid's sink while his classmates laughed and made fun of him. Take that "Bong-goo" (fart) boy! Nice "so called" friends, too.
Yesterday, Dio, who's back from some sort of sabbatical from my class, decides to just let a lot of his drool foam up and foment all over his right side of his mouth and face. It was disgusting and he wanted a reaction from me. I made him wash his face in the classroom sink. Remember Dio? He was the really lazy, and somewhat slow moving boy who's mom met with me a month ago. The school was upset about the loss of him and a few other of my students. The Director, Assistant Director, the Owner and the parents met with me to discuss the situation. Well, she later pulled him from my class; now he's back. He even tells me now that he "loves" me. He has improved his writing skills during that interim, perhaps thanks is due to his better and more competent teacher named Tracy. Or it could be that his mom got all over his lazy ass and told him to stop being so lazy? I dunno.
Then there's Peter, a student who I watch during my lunch hour in another teacher's class. Part of my job is to help administer lunch every day for one hour. Today, Peter, holding his crotch and doing the universal "pee pee" dance, needed to pee badly. I told him to run fast like "bali bali" (very fast) and so he drops his pants right there in class. His naked ass revealed; the students are so nonchalant, they continue eating, yelling. Then Peter realizes that the bathroom is 25 feet away and so pulls up his trousers and dashes off to the restroom. Yes, I am in combat some of the time.
I guess I am just venting. It definitely beats working for Bill and having to call Armani of Beverly Hills to arrange for a suit fitting for him with their visiting Italian tailor or the time when his wife missed her limo to JFK in New York City and me, being so inept, left the limo company his wife's cell phone number as a back up. Of course the company called her cell phone to say they were waiting for her. She never got the message because she doesn't use or bring her cell phone!! She took a cab to JFK--how pedestrian. I was supposed to ask Bill first about his wife's cell number...Or how about the time when Bill would constantly re-arrange his calendar to fit in more important business meetings than meet with students; after all, he is a professor and business and Board meetings are more important than the lowly needs of students. Or the times when...don't get me started, blog reader! I definitely don't wipe anyone's ass anymore! I don't wipe asses here either except mine, of course!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Ajuma Perma Haircuts
In Korea married, older women in their late 40's and above are called "Ajumas" (A-Jew-ma-s"). They are women who have born children, married for years and often have grand children. They are everywhere, these ajumas. They are short, tall, wrinkled. One distinct feature they have, and one way of recognizing the "old" school ajuma from the "new" school, is the ugly perma (permed) haircut.
Like in the West, ajumas get their permed haircuts at saloons. There are six saloons in my area of "Go-pan" (my affectionate term for this changing "ghetto" of abandoned trash and constant sound of buildings constructed). You know that scene in Alien when they discover an alien sitting behind some machine, dead from lack of food? The ajumas here are seated in barber chairs, they are attached to these big, alien-like machines with black wires and thin tubes, the apparatus spins clockwise blasting heat over and under the plastic curlers.
Koreans all hair straight hair. I guess when you have been married a while, born a few kids, hips flaring outward and breasts sagging downward and tired looking at your husband's Buddha-like gut, ajumas run to the nearest saloon and get funky. The permas are not attractive. They look fake...Ugly...Big, thick curls don't look natural on these ajumas, soul brothers and sisters! (Edgar reference).
One way to differentiate between the "old" school ajumas and the "new" school ones is the tightness of the permed curl and the clothing they wear. The "old" school ajumas are usually short, over weight and wear ugly non-sensical blouses with off-patterns and those off-gray plastic-looking nurse shoes you see for sale a block away from any hospital. You know, the kind with the thick padding and concave soles? They don't wear make-up and hobble about, limping from years on the farm and raising kids who have given birth to their ajuma grand kids--those brats I now teach! Ugh! (Last week was difficult teaching them kids, I tell you!). Their curls are big, thick and ugly. They look like vertical bed springs that have broke free from their matresses, shooting skyward with that "boing," "boing" sound you hear in cartoons!
The "new" school ajumas, are thin, stylish and wear designer jeans, nice clothes and heels. They are very coiffed and their children are becoming the same with dyed hair and expensive western clothing which I hate seeing here and in the States. Their permed curls are wavy and natural looking.
Ajumas are a fact of life. If I was a detective searching for a lost Alzheimer ajuma, I could find the missing one in a day. They stand out like orange suspenders on a tuxedo or pink hair at a funeral. Are they rebelling or is this a cultural movement? What is next for these ajumas? I think there should be a sociological study on ajumas. If I can get some funding, I could research this phenomena and find out the "truth" about the perma!
Like in the West, ajumas get their permed haircuts at saloons. There are six saloons in my area of "Go-pan" (my affectionate term for this changing "ghetto" of abandoned trash and constant sound of buildings constructed). You know that scene in Alien when they discover an alien sitting behind some machine, dead from lack of food? The ajumas here are seated in barber chairs, they are attached to these big, alien-like machines with black wires and thin tubes, the apparatus spins clockwise blasting heat over and under the plastic curlers.
Koreans all hair straight hair. I guess when you have been married a while, born a few kids, hips flaring outward and breasts sagging downward and tired looking at your husband's Buddha-like gut, ajumas run to the nearest saloon and get funky. The permas are not attractive. They look fake...Ugly...Big, thick curls don't look natural on these ajumas, soul brothers and sisters! (Edgar reference).
One way to differentiate between the "old" school ajumas and the "new" school ones is the tightness of the permed curl and the clothing they wear. The "old" school ajumas are usually short, over weight and wear ugly non-sensical blouses with off-patterns and those off-gray plastic-looking nurse shoes you see for sale a block away from any hospital. You know, the kind with the thick padding and concave soles? They don't wear make-up and hobble about, limping from years on the farm and raising kids who have given birth to their ajuma grand kids--those brats I now teach! Ugh! (Last week was difficult teaching them kids, I tell you!). Their curls are big, thick and ugly. They look like vertical bed springs that have broke free from their matresses, shooting skyward with that "boing," "boing" sound you hear in cartoons!
The "new" school ajumas, are thin, stylish and wear designer jeans, nice clothes and heels. They are very coiffed and their children are becoming the same with dyed hair and expensive western clothing which I hate seeing here and in the States. Their permed curls are wavy and natural looking.
Ajumas are a fact of life. If I was a detective searching for a lost Alzheimer ajuma, I could find the missing one in a day. They stand out like orange suspenders on a tuxedo or pink hair at a funeral. Are they rebelling or is this a cultural movement? What is next for these ajumas? I think there should be a sociological study on ajumas. If I can get some funding, I could research this phenomena and find out the "truth" about the perma!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
When students have stripper names
Do Korean parents purposely give their daughters American stripper names? Or is the World of Disney so persuasive and perverse that 6,500 miles from their Burbank Headquarters, children choose their "innocent" English pseudonyms as some sort of Walt Disney fantasy and conspiracy?
I have a student named Princess. She's 11 years old. Princess is a stripper name. I should yell at her mom and dad. To see a real Princess, go to 4Play in West Los Angeles. Princess will make cooing sounds for you as she swivels around pole number three with her four inch heels and white tiara.
Another student here is named Barbie. Like a Barbie doll... Barbie is a 40 year old, tanned and pruned ex-stripper with "D" cups working in the heart of Burbank, probably still the receptionist for that busy law firm of Dewey, Cheatim and Howe. She still wears low cut blouses showing off ample cleavage. My student Barbie is a cute 6 year old who dons yellow and pink nail polish. Isn't she too young for that stuff? When children take images from the Disney machine and make them their own, that is not magical stuff.
Then there's Angel. I bet you my nice salary of 2.2 million Won that there's an Angel in every strip club from Los Angeles to the eastern tip of Montauk Point, New York. And who doesn't like angels, right? The anti-Christ probably. Angel is classic stripper name. It used to be cute and fun, now it's a cliche. Old and wrinkled like Barbie's time sun tanning at Venice Beach. Jesus!
You know when dog owners resemble their dogs after a while? Well, Cherry a 6 year old student in my school looks like a cherry tomato! It's also a more updated version of the classic stripper name of Angel. The Cherry here is a tiny thing with a round, cute Cherry tomato face and matching "bowl" bang haircut. She's sweet. The Cherries of strip joints are the ones who wear the "G" string thong with three cherry hearts on them. They will rob you of your money, like some Rod Stewart song.
Korean parents, if you ever read one post of this forsaken blog, don't name your kids any of these names. They are reserved for strippers. Do you want your daughter to be lap dancing on some businessman or college jar head's lap? No! A name can be self-fulling prophesy. Do you know of any Melvins, Marvins or Bettys now? Drop the stripper names and use something reasonable. Walt Disney would be disappointed that his magic has failed but who cares about the world they create? Would you want your daughter to become a Disney employee who must answer the phone with a smile saying: "Welcome to the magical world of Disney, how can I help you?"
I have a student named Princess. She's 11 years old. Princess is a stripper name. I should yell at her mom and dad. To see a real Princess, go to 4Play in West Los Angeles. Princess will make cooing sounds for you as she swivels around pole number three with her four inch heels and white tiara.
Another student here is named Barbie. Like a Barbie doll... Barbie is a 40 year old, tanned and pruned ex-stripper with "D" cups working in the heart of Burbank, probably still the receptionist for that busy law firm of Dewey, Cheatim and Howe. She still wears low cut blouses showing off ample cleavage. My student Barbie is a cute 6 year old who dons yellow and pink nail polish. Isn't she too young for that stuff? When children take images from the Disney machine and make them their own, that is not magical stuff.
Then there's Angel. I bet you my nice salary of 2.2 million Won that there's an Angel in every strip club from Los Angeles to the eastern tip of Montauk Point, New York. And who doesn't like angels, right? The anti-Christ probably. Angel is classic stripper name. It used to be cute and fun, now it's a cliche. Old and wrinkled like Barbie's time sun tanning at Venice Beach. Jesus!
You know when dog owners resemble their dogs after a while? Well, Cherry a 6 year old student in my school looks like a cherry tomato! It's also a more updated version of the classic stripper name of Angel. The Cherry here is a tiny thing with a round, cute Cherry tomato face and matching "bowl" bang haircut. She's sweet. The Cherries of strip joints are the ones who wear the "G" string thong with three cherry hearts on them. They will rob you of your money, like some Rod Stewart song.
Korean parents, if you ever read one post of this forsaken blog, don't name your kids any of these names. They are reserved for strippers. Do you want your daughter to be lap dancing on some businessman or college jar head's lap? No! A name can be self-fulling prophesy. Do you know of any Melvins, Marvins or Bettys now? Drop the stripper names and use something reasonable. Walt Disney would be disappointed that his magic has failed but who cares about the world they create? Would you want your daughter to become a Disney employee who must answer the phone with a smile saying: "Welcome to the magical world of Disney, how can I help you?"
Monday, May 5, 2008
American Gangsta Rap invades Canada
My colleagues at my language institute in Suwon, South Korea are mostly Canadian. I forget what area they hail from. It doesn't matter in this global economy which is border less and invaded by American Gangsta rap.
The other night a bunch of us went to the "Nori Bon," a Korean style Karaoke singing bar where you pay about $13 for two hours to sing and drink with your friends. They had a huge selection of songs, both in Korean and in English. You can also eat food and drink at these places. They are everywhere in Korea. Everyone has their own room; there are couches and air conditioning. It's fun and comfortable. Many have blinking lights, tambourines and all have a wide screen projector and a nice sound system. Just lay off the reverb, eh buddy!
A lot of the songs selected by the Canadians were American rap music like "Gangster's Paradise" by Coolio, Fifty Cent's "In da Club" and an obnoxious Snoop Dogg tune. I am pissed off by this. A bunch of white and mixed, Canadians rapping and singing American Black Gangsta rap in Suwon, Korea. What do they know about urban black people's struggle? Probably nothing. I know I don't that much and I live in L.A.
With the risk of sounding like an idiot and an uptight old fart, this style of music contains and portrays violence, drugs as an end into dealing consumerism and vitriolic misogyny. It has no place in Canadian culture and vocabulary with my 20 something co-workers. American Imperialism has landed in Canada and in South Korea. It is sad and pisses me off.
Many people relate to this music and that's fine. It's unfortunate that this music is exciting, fast, fun, angry and has garnered so much popularity. Rap music portrays people who are fighting for their rights on some level which I can't relate to. This style of music sings of respect, money, dignity, freedom, sex and other things that protest songs did but in an urban, ghetto setting with guns, lots of guns (Matrix reference).
I guess I am mad about the medium in which it's delivered. I am for music that expresses those qualities but there is something "wrong" about hearing this music from the hood of L.A. in the provincial city of Suwon, South Korea. It is fucked up, really. This music is not cool. What would you rather do? Chill to Pink Floyd or Snoop Dogg? There's a terrible "hardness" to this music that is contagious and cancerous. Gangsta rap has infected cultures across the globe and people like it!! I think that's fucked up too.
Maybe if I go back in time to Chicago, Illionois circa 1950 and go to a blues bar to hear Muddy Waters play with Little Walter on harmonica, I could somehow juxtapose that and related to gangsta rap of 2008? People would look at me in my 1950's clothes, a white guy, that buttermilk spot in a sea of black faces and they would think and ask: "What the fuck is this guy doing here?" How could I relate to the blues of Muddy Waters, a cotton picker from the south? I can't but I can get the blues. I can feel sad and joyous like many of Muddy Water's songs. In any case, blues music contrasts to the culture we live in now. A society of easy gun access, shootings in schools, violence, dealin drugs, fighting turf wars with other gangs, a gangsta's life style. I don't get it. If I go back in time fifty years from now (2058) and visit the clubs where Snoop and his ilk played, me with my white face in a sea of mixed people, they wouldn't say: "What the fuck is he here?" But how could I relate even then?
Maybe I'll re-write this piece or delete it.
Palmer in Korea signing off and out.
The other night a bunch of us went to the "Nori Bon," a Korean style Karaoke singing bar where you pay about $13 for two hours to sing and drink with your friends. They had a huge selection of songs, both in Korean and in English. You can also eat food and drink at these places. They are everywhere in Korea. Everyone has their own room; there are couches and air conditioning. It's fun and comfortable. Many have blinking lights, tambourines and all have a wide screen projector and a nice sound system. Just lay off the reverb, eh buddy!
A lot of the songs selected by the Canadians were American rap music like "Gangster's Paradise" by Coolio, Fifty Cent's "In da Club" and an obnoxious Snoop Dogg tune. I am pissed off by this. A bunch of white and mixed, Canadians rapping and singing American Black Gangsta rap in Suwon, Korea. What do they know about urban black people's struggle? Probably nothing. I know I don't that much and I live in L.A.
With the risk of sounding like an idiot and an uptight old fart, this style of music contains and portrays violence, drugs as an end into dealing consumerism and vitriolic misogyny. It has no place in Canadian culture and vocabulary with my 20 something co-workers. American Imperialism has landed in Canada and in South Korea. It is sad and pisses me off.
Many people relate to this music and that's fine. It's unfortunate that this music is exciting, fast, fun, angry and has garnered so much popularity. Rap music portrays people who are fighting for their rights on some level which I can't relate to. This style of music sings of respect, money, dignity, freedom, sex and other things that protest songs did but in an urban, ghetto setting with guns, lots of guns (Matrix reference).
I guess I am mad about the medium in which it's delivered. I am for music that expresses those qualities but there is something "wrong" about hearing this music from the hood of L.A. in the provincial city of Suwon, South Korea. It is fucked up, really. This music is not cool. What would you rather do? Chill to Pink Floyd or Snoop Dogg? There's a terrible "hardness" to this music that is contagious and cancerous. Gangsta rap has infected cultures across the globe and people like it!! I think that's fucked up too.
Maybe if I go back in time to Chicago, Illionois circa 1950 and go to a blues bar to hear Muddy Waters play with Little Walter on harmonica, I could somehow juxtapose that and related to gangsta rap of 2008? People would look at me in my 1950's clothes, a white guy, that buttermilk spot in a sea of black faces and they would think and ask: "What the fuck is this guy doing here?" How could I relate to the blues of Muddy Waters, a cotton picker from the south? I can't but I can get the blues. I can feel sad and joyous like many of Muddy Water's songs. In any case, blues music contrasts to the culture we live in now. A society of easy gun access, shootings in schools, violence, dealin drugs, fighting turf wars with other gangs, a gangsta's life style. I don't get it. If I go back in time fifty years from now (2058) and visit the clubs where Snoop and his ilk played, me with my white face in a sea of mixed people, they wouldn't say: "What the fuck is he here?" But how could I relate even then?
Maybe I'll re-write this piece or delete it.
Palmer in Korea signing off and out.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
When parents hit their children...
The other day my best friend, O, emailed me an article about Koreans attending Ivy league schools and the enormous financial, emotional and physical tribulations students and families go through to get into the Ivies like Harvard and Yale, etc. I've pasted the article link at the end of this post.
Last night, during my favorite class, my favorite student, Amy, who is like a daughter to me, if I had a daughter, had bruises on her left upper arm. The weather has been warm recently and everyone is wearing short sleeves. She was rubbing her left arm a little and I could tell that something was bothering her. I noticed the four medium size, dark bruises. I asked Amy.
She told me her friend hit her on the arm and then later her mother hit her too. I asked why did her friend do that? The friend was angry but I think it was just an excuse to cover the real damage her mom did.
"My mom was angry at me..." she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Over English," she said. I thought: she's an excellent student. Her grammar is really great. She can talk to me in English...It took me a few minutes to process this and then I got really upset. I thought of making my homework easier or was it too difficult and it made her mom frustrated? Or was Amy not making strides that her mom thinks is adequate? I walked to the Director's office, trying to remain calm and focused and not to react, and asked him to talk to Amy to clarify how she got the bruises. Maybe I misunderstood.
He came in and asked Amy to come to his office. When she came back, she had tears in her eyes. The class was in the middle of their lesson so I sat down with Amy to give her instruction and time to settle down. She was upset and took a while to focus. She worked slowly on the activity sheet. I talked to her about the activity then asked her what the director said. She had tears in her eyes. I got her a tissue but she refused it. I told her how upset I was to see her arm like that and I wanted the director to talk to her about it too. I was trying not to cry.
I asked Amy if she felt safe at home and if the director or someone else were to call her mom, would Amy feel okay about it. She said it would not be a problem. I told Amy that where I come from, that kind of behavior is very serious and not tolerated. I told her that seeing her arm like that was upsetting to me and that I needed to tell my boss so he was aware.
The director told the owner about the bruises. The owner said it's the responsibility of Amy's public school teacher and administrators to notify the proper authorities of this abuse and if I see more bruises, then the owner can call and report the abuse. I feel helpless in this situation which mirrors my general helplessness: language and culture are barriers. How much pressure parents' feel when they are old and need the security to live a healthily life vis a vis their children's financial support? They are their social security; their life support and pressuring and pushing their kids to succeed will make them "successful" and also give the parents a safety net when they're old.
I am working through this... I was up for hours last night. My favorite student Amy, sweet and smart with two younger siblings working hard at English and me, indirectly, contributing to her success or failure as an English learner.
Here's the article:
April 27, 2008 Elite Korean Schools, Forging Ivy League Skills By Sam Dillon
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/27/world/asia/27seoul.html?ex=1366948800&en=b9c8a3db94765d6c&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
Last night, during my favorite class, my favorite student, Amy, who is like a daughter to me, if I had a daughter, had bruises on her left upper arm. The weather has been warm recently and everyone is wearing short sleeves. She was rubbing her left arm a little and I could tell that something was bothering her. I noticed the four medium size, dark bruises. I asked Amy.
She told me her friend hit her on the arm and then later her mother hit her too. I asked why did her friend do that? The friend was angry but I think it was just an excuse to cover the real damage her mom did.
"My mom was angry at me..." she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Over English," she said. I thought: she's an excellent student. Her grammar is really great. She can talk to me in English...It took me a few minutes to process this and then I got really upset. I thought of making my homework easier or was it too difficult and it made her mom frustrated? Or was Amy not making strides that her mom thinks is adequate? I walked to the Director's office, trying to remain calm and focused and not to react, and asked him to talk to Amy to clarify how she got the bruises. Maybe I misunderstood.
He came in and asked Amy to come to his office. When she came back, she had tears in her eyes. The class was in the middle of their lesson so I sat down with Amy to give her instruction and time to settle down. She was upset and took a while to focus. She worked slowly on the activity sheet. I talked to her about the activity then asked her what the director said. She had tears in her eyes. I got her a tissue but she refused it. I told her how upset I was to see her arm like that and I wanted the director to talk to her about it too. I was trying not to cry.
I asked Amy if she felt safe at home and if the director or someone else were to call her mom, would Amy feel okay about it. She said it would not be a problem. I told Amy that where I come from, that kind of behavior is very serious and not tolerated. I told her that seeing her arm like that was upsetting to me and that I needed to tell my boss so he was aware.
The director told the owner about the bruises. The owner said it's the responsibility of Amy's public school teacher and administrators to notify the proper authorities of this abuse and if I see more bruises, then the owner can call and report the abuse. I feel helpless in this situation which mirrors my general helplessness: language and culture are barriers. How much pressure parents' feel when they are old and need the security to live a healthily life vis a vis their children's financial support? They are their social security; their life support and pressuring and pushing their kids to succeed will make them "successful" and also give the parents a safety net when they're old.
I am working through this... I was up for hours last night. My favorite student Amy, sweet and smart with two younger siblings working hard at English and me, indirectly, contributing to her success or failure as an English learner.
Here's the article:
April 27, 2008 Elite Korean Schools, Forging Ivy League Skills By Sam Dillon
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/27/world/asia/27seoul.html?ex=1366948800&en=b9c8a3db94765d6c&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
Sunday, April 27, 2008
My gum rant and the free market economy
As some of you know I am a big big fan of chewing gum; all my life. When I came here I brought with me six packs of Orbit and a brand called "5." I'll chew a pack a week, usually. Orbit and "5" are my favorites and possible the best gum ever made. Finally, Wrigley's made advances in their gum products which leave their classic "Spearmint" gum (a terrible and horrible gum) in the crypt. Both Orbit and "5" have outstanding flavor which lasts a long time, they are sugarless and don't loose their gummy consistency after twenty or sixty minutes and perhaps most importantly, I don't have the urge to swallow the gum which, according to folklore, is not digested in our bodies...
Anyways, I've tried seven kinds of gum here by Lotte. There's Flavano. A mint flavored gum which after twenty minutes, you want to swallow and usually do. I've had that same experience with every gum made here. Another gum they make is a bubble gum. It's weak. Today I tried their ginseng gum which surprisingly was good and the flavor last a long time even after maneuvering in the cold and damp of Suwon. But who wants to chew on ginseng for sixty minutes?
Lotte's bubbles blow. No strength or sizable bubbles. Not fun. There are two or three major companies that make gum here and they all suck. The most popular brand and perhaps the most distributed are made by Lotte. Most if not all gum is made by this Korean Chaebol. All loose flavor quickly, few selection of sugarless and the consistency changes. Nobody knows, perhaps, that these gums suck. They have no comparison to excellent gum products. It could be cultural in the sense that they don't have the habit of chewing gum for more than twenty minutes...Which brings me to the topic of today's blog.
Would access to "superior" gum vis a vis the free market, improve Korea's gum? If Korea allowed Wrigley's Orbit and "5" entry into the gum market here, what would happen to Korean gum companies like Lotte? When the "borders" open to imports like gum, companies like Lotte that have been living large on their "successes" will have to trim the fat to become lean and mean again. This, of course, provided that people here would find Orbit "superior" to taste. Maybe Koreans are not used to chewing more than twenty minutes or more? Maybe Westerners chew too much gum which may cause more wear on our teeth?
Orbit and "5" are sugarless gums and have excellent flavors and varieties. I think that they would slam any Korean gum product either regular (w/ sugar) or not. People would abandon their favorite Korean Lotte gum for Orbit or "5." Lotte, the Korean company, maker of cookies and gum, could not compete. The free market would force Korean companies to re-evaluate and make a better gum product or leave the market. All I am saying I am in favor of more flavor.
If the market did open, I would buy a case of Orbit gum in case these American companies are shunned by the Korean public or taken down by some Nationalist bureaucrat. Koreans like Americans are full of pride about their companies but much more nationalistic and protectionist. A lot of products are available here, like Honda Accords, but they are heavily taxed via import duties. It's rare to see a Benz or a Beemer. If you own one of these cars in Korea, that means you have money, a lot of money. Most people who own a car purchase a Korean one. Korea protects its products by heavy import taxes. I don't have stats yet, my friends.
Of course the free market has mixed result with economies. But damn it I want my gum! F#@%IT: I can order it on the Internet.
Anyways, I've tried seven kinds of gum here by Lotte. There's Flavano. A mint flavored gum which after twenty minutes, you want to swallow and usually do. I've had that same experience with every gum made here. Another gum they make is a bubble gum. It's weak. Today I tried their ginseng gum which surprisingly was good and the flavor last a long time even after maneuvering in the cold and damp of Suwon. But who wants to chew on ginseng for sixty minutes?
Lotte's bubbles blow. No strength or sizable bubbles. Not fun. There are two or three major companies that make gum here and they all suck. The most popular brand and perhaps the most distributed are made by Lotte. Most if not all gum is made by this Korean Chaebol. All loose flavor quickly, few selection of sugarless and the consistency changes. Nobody knows, perhaps, that these gums suck. They have no comparison to excellent gum products. It could be cultural in the sense that they don't have the habit of chewing gum for more than twenty minutes...Which brings me to the topic of today's blog.
Would access to "superior" gum vis a vis the free market, improve Korea's gum? If Korea allowed Wrigley's Orbit and "5" entry into the gum market here, what would happen to Korean gum companies like Lotte? When the "borders" open to imports like gum, companies like Lotte that have been living large on their "successes" will have to trim the fat to become lean and mean again. This, of course, provided that people here would find Orbit "superior" to taste. Maybe Koreans are not used to chewing more than twenty minutes or more? Maybe Westerners chew too much gum which may cause more wear on our teeth?
Orbit and "5" are sugarless gums and have excellent flavors and varieties. I think that they would slam any Korean gum product either regular (w/ sugar) or not. People would abandon their favorite Korean Lotte gum for Orbit or "5." Lotte, the Korean company, maker of cookies and gum, could not compete. The free market would force Korean companies to re-evaluate and make a better gum product or leave the market. All I am saying I am in favor of more flavor.
If the market did open, I would buy a case of Orbit gum in case these American companies are shunned by the Korean public or taken down by some Nationalist bureaucrat. Koreans like Americans are full of pride about their companies but much more nationalistic and protectionist. A lot of products are available here, like Honda Accords, but they are heavily taxed via import duties. It's rare to see a Benz or a Beemer. If you own one of these cars in Korea, that means you have money, a lot of money. Most people who own a car purchase a Korean one. Korea protects its products by heavy import taxes. I don't have stats yet, my friends.
Of course the free market has mixed result with economies. But damn it I want my gum! F#@%IT: I can order it on the Internet.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Book Store Koan: What is the sound of one hand whacking?
It all started on the cab ride home Saturday afternoon after work. The director of the school, myself and another teacher, a Canadian woman, shared a ride back to "Gob-pan-jong dong" Basically, Suwon's "ghetto" before hundreds of new apartments were built two years ago...It was raining and all the taxis were full, so the director asked the Korean receptionist, a super nice lady who can calm any hysterical kid reeling from the paralysis of mommy leaving her in a language institute, in my school, to call us a cab.
"There's an adult book store in our neighborhood," the director said as the taxi turned left along the long stretch of fallow rice fields. "I found it the other day." The female Canadian teacher, feeling a little uncomfortable, said that it would have been better if the cab ride home was just all guys.
"I don't go to those places," the Director added defensively.
"I do," I said a little mocking also knowing that my personal lube is low and needing replacement-- I asked, "Where is it?"
The cab driver made a right turn towards one of the ubiquitous Family Marts that line my area. "It's the place that has green windows. They use some adhesive to prevent looking in," he replied. Except for me, people are having sex all the time.
They have these "love hotels" with funny, 14th century Old English names like "Castle Rock." Couples, lovers, "sanchos/sanchas," cheating spouses, escorts on business and the like use the facilities for quick one hour love sessions. If you drink with Koreans, they down beer quickly. So they must have sex quickly, too. Right? We drove by the adult book store. The green adhesive blocked the light from the store. It looked closed. It was a cloudy, chilly day, unseasonably chilling for Spring. I welcome the chilly weather here in my little "Gob-pan-jong." Back in Los Angeles, it's always warm and pleasant. It has an "unreal" feeling to it like the Hollywood movie set it really is. You've seen the movies where the street is "wet" from a fresh rain but everything else like the buildings look dry? That's Los Angeles. Fake wetness. Fake boobs. Botox lips. Botox butts. Plastic surgery of chins, abs and eyes. Dog diets, dog biscuit stores. And here I am going to buy some silicon lube and look at some whacking magazines (Airplane reference).
Around 9pm I was rested and decided to go out to check out the adult book store. I walked for ten minutes. My big Saturday night plans: I am going to buy some magazines and some lube and take myself out for a nice dinner! How romantic! The road that runs parallel to the rice fields is dark and the cold wind is hitting my face. I walk pass buildings in various stages of construction, big yellow, Tonka style trucks, mud piles, brick piles and finally the green windowed book store! Salvation, reader! I look south towards the large red neon lights of the Presbyterian church a half a mile away. Nothing says Christianity like large, red neon lighting of the Cross of Jesus and tele-prompter flashing verses on a church building.
The Book Store is a large room. There are wood-grained shelves that line all four walls. Dildos, vibrators and edible panties hang from metal mesh or sit on the shelves, nicely arranged for viewing. These are all imported American products. The boxes are in English. You would think that the Korean Chaebols (big industries like Samsung) would have sex subsidiaries that make adult toys but they don't. Maybe "Sam's Hung" would be shot down as a bad idea?
Anyway, I am looking around the shelves, floor and such and there are no books or magazines, anywhere! It's a Porn Store not a Book Store. There's silicon asses, mouths, and vagina's all for sale. All pink, open and ready for adventure. Pink, black and white vibrators of different sizes and shapes and textures. If I had a girl friend would I want her to have a big, black vibrator next to the pillow, ready for action? How could I compete with that? Forgettabout it! Disgusting, huh?
The panties are different colors and sizes. They are of the "easy access" ones for love making. They are taste...full. The owner stumbles out and greets me. He is speaking to me. It sounds like he is inviting me to take my jacket off and stay a while, maybe have some coffee, discuss politics and personal lube choices perhaps? His dark red, blood shot eyes are in need of some major Visine, reader. And his openness and cordiality make me feel uncomfortable. I guess it's just my desire to remain anonymous when I shop for lube. I tell him thank you, I am just looking. He points to the wall that has Korean condoms and lubricants. One of them says "Adam." I have a brother named Adam, I think! His name is on a condom box; I got to tell him! I point to a magazine that laid on the shelf. A pretty girl in panties is smiling from the page. I ask him if he has anymore. He says he doesn't. In fact, he doesn't sell magazines or books. A porn store without magazines? I know this is Korea, but come on! I know I am being culturally insensitive, dear reader, but it's like pizza without cheese. It's like french fries without ketchup. It's like South without North. WTF?
I continue wandering around looking at the sundries. Pictures of Caucasian woman on boxes, their faces smiling, open to any sort of need and desire I may have. But no magazines. Ah, the frustration! As I sometimes do, reader, when I wonder around, I maybe yell out something in English; it's okay no one understands or cares really. Half the population is drunk after work and they must think that anyone who comes here to live must be crazy, so leave him be! However, tonight inside the Porn Den of "Gob-pan-jong dong" I don't yell out loud or babble to myself. This would invite Red Eye to talk to me again. Maybe he's really lonely working in a porn store, in the middle of Korea, so he drinks, his eyes swell up, he watches his DVDs over and over, or from the lack of visitors and when he sees a foreigner, he feels like a new friend, a white savior, has just arrived. One who knows how his lonely heart beckons for late night conversation at the Porn Store. And who wouldn't? There's a Christian church every half mile from the Porn Store. Imagine that pressure the owner feels? He's competing with God. And that's a losing game, kind reader. I leave the Porn Store. No magazines. No lube. Just empty hand. Zen Koan: What is the sound of one hand whacking?
"There's an adult book store in our neighborhood," the director said as the taxi turned left along the long stretch of fallow rice fields. "I found it the other day." The female Canadian teacher, feeling a little uncomfortable, said that it would have been better if the cab ride home was just all guys.
"I don't go to those places," the Director added defensively.
"I do," I said a little mocking also knowing that my personal lube is low and needing replacement-- I asked, "Where is it?"
The cab driver made a right turn towards one of the ubiquitous Family Marts that line my area. "It's the place that has green windows. They use some adhesive to prevent looking in," he replied. Except for me, people are having sex all the time.
They have these "love hotels" with funny, 14th century Old English names like "Castle Rock." Couples, lovers, "sanchos/sanchas," cheating spouses, escorts on business and the like use the facilities for quick one hour love sessions. If you drink with Koreans, they down beer quickly. So they must have sex quickly, too. Right? We drove by the adult book store. The green adhesive blocked the light from the store. It looked closed. It was a cloudy, chilly day, unseasonably chilling for Spring. I welcome the chilly weather here in my little "Gob-pan-jong." Back in Los Angeles, it's always warm and pleasant. It has an "unreal" feeling to it like the Hollywood movie set it really is. You've seen the movies where the street is "wet" from a fresh rain but everything else like the buildings look dry? That's Los Angeles. Fake wetness. Fake boobs. Botox lips. Botox butts. Plastic surgery of chins, abs and eyes. Dog diets, dog biscuit stores. And here I am going to buy some silicon lube and look at some whacking magazines (Airplane reference).
Around 9pm I was rested and decided to go out to check out the adult book store. I walked for ten minutes. My big Saturday night plans: I am going to buy some magazines and some lube and take myself out for a nice dinner! How romantic! The road that runs parallel to the rice fields is dark and the cold wind is hitting my face. I walk pass buildings in various stages of construction, big yellow, Tonka style trucks, mud piles, brick piles and finally the green windowed book store! Salvation, reader! I look south towards the large red neon lights of the Presbyterian church a half a mile away. Nothing says Christianity like large, red neon lighting of the Cross of Jesus and tele-prompter flashing verses on a church building.
The Book Store is a large room. There are wood-grained shelves that line all four walls. Dildos, vibrators and edible panties hang from metal mesh or sit on the shelves, nicely arranged for viewing. These are all imported American products. The boxes are in English. You would think that the Korean Chaebols (big industries like Samsung) would have sex subsidiaries that make adult toys but they don't. Maybe "Sam's Hung" would be shot down as a bad idea?
Anyway, I am looking around the shelves, floor and such and there are no books or magazines, anywhere! It's a Porn Store not a Book Store. There's silicon asses, mouths, and vagina's all for sale. All pink, open and ready for adventure. Pink, black and white vibrators of different sizes and shapes and textures. If I had a girl friend would I want her to have a big, black vibrator next to the pillow, ready for action? How could I compete with that? Forgettabout it! Disgusting, huh?
The panties are different colors and sizes. They are of the "easy access" ones for love making. They are taste...full. The owner stumbles out and greets me. He is speaking to me. It sounds like he is inviting me to take my jacket off and stay a while, maybe have some coffee, discuss politics and personal lube choices perhaps? His dark red, blood shot eyes are in need of some major Visine, reader. And his openness and cordiality make me feel uncomfortable. I guess it's just my desire to remain anonymous when I shop for lube. I tell him thank you, I am just looking. He points to the wall that has Korean condoms and lubricants. One of them says "Adam." I have a brother named Adam, I think! His name is on a condom box; I got to tell him! I point to a magazine that laid on the shelf. A pretty girl in panties is smiling from the page. I ask him if he has anymore. He says he doesn't. In fact, he doesn't sell magazines or books. A porn store without magazines? I know this is Korea, but come on! I know I am being culturally insensitive, dear reader, but it's like pizza without cheese. It's like french fries without ketchup. It's like South without North. WTF?
I continue wandering around looking at the sundries. Pictures of Caucasian woman on boxes, their faces smiling, open to any sort of need and desire I may have. But no magazines. Ah, the frustration! As I sometimes do, reader, when I wonder around, I maybe yell out something in English; it's okay no one understands or cares really. Half the population is drunk after work and they must think that anyone who comes here to live must be crazy, so leave him be! However, tonight inside the Porn Den of "Gob-pan-jong dong" I don't yell out loud or babble to myself. This would invite Red Eye to talk to me again. Maybe he's really lonely working in a porn store, in the middle of Korea, so he drinks, his eyes swell up, he watches his DVDs over and over, or from the lack of visitors and when he sees a foreigner, he feels like a new friend, a white savior, has just arrived. One who knows how his lonely heart beckons for late night conversation at the Porn Store. And who wouldn't? There's a Christian church every half mile from the Porn Store. Imagine that pressure the owner feels? He's competing with God. And that's a losing game, kind reader. I leave the Porn Store. No magazines. No lube. Just empty hand. Zen Koan: What is the sound of one hand whacking?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Funny Business Names in Korea
I see businesses with funny names and posted these for your enjoyment.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Mixed use commercial building Korean Style
We had another fire this past week but this time it was located down the street from the school. I will post pictures later. What I wanted to blog on about was the quaint Korean style of mixed use of commercial space and the speed at which Koreans build stuff.
If you see the picture of the office building, on the first floor is a Hyundai dealership. The second floor is a restaurant, the third floor a pool hall, the fifth floor a dental clinic, the sixth floor a "nori ban" or Karaoke club and the last floor is a bar. This is Korean style for sure. You could spend the whole day in that building! Buy a car, eat lunch, drink some beers and play pool and make it in time for your dentist appt. After the dentist, go upstairs to the bar and later meet your friends to eat and drink at the "nori ban." Back in the States, as you know, this style of mixing commercial space does not happen like that. You have doctors and dentists in a building but not a pool hall, restaurant and a dentist.
Near my school is a three building complex called Digital Empire. It was set-up to attract technology companies to rent space. Inside the two block long complex, are dozens of restaurants, convenience shops like 7/11, shoes stores, businesses and apartment housing. Koreans build things quickly. A new subway stop will open in a year, after I am gone, that will decrease traffic and bring in business.
A restaurant down the street from my apt, closed up shop and went out of business--this week. A day later, all the restaurant equipment was gone. Yesterday and today they gutted the restaurant, took away the walls and tile and will install a new floor. That's fast. The workers shovel dirt and cement into this 50 lb bags, move them via cart and dump the dirt into the back of a big truck, all day long. A lot of intensive manual labor. Incredible.
Riding around today on my bicycle I realized that I can eat, shop and live a very complete life without a car. Korea is organized that way so using a car is superfluous. I like that a lot.
If you see the picture of the office building, on the first floor is a Hyundai dealership. The second floor is a restaurant, the third floor a pool hall, the fifth floor a dental clinic, the sixth floor a "nori ban" or Karaoke club and the last floor is a bar. This is Korean style for sure. You could spend the whole day in that building! Buy a car, eat lunch, drink some beers and play pool and make it in time for your dentist appt. After the dentist, go upstairs to the bar and later meet your friends to eat and drink at the "nori ban." Back in the States, as you know, this style of mixing commercial space does not happen like that. You have doctors and dentists in a building but not a pool hall, restaurant and a dentist.
Near my school is a three building complex called Digital Empire. It was set-up to attract technology companies to rent space. Inside the two block long complex, are dozens of restaurants, convenience shops like 7/11, shoes stores, businesses and apartment housing. Koreans build things quickly. A new subway stop will open in a year, after I am gone, that will decrease traffic and bring in business.
A restaurant down the street from my apt, closed up shop and went out of business--this week. A day later, all the restaurant equipment was gone. Yesterday and today they gutted the restaurant, took away the walls and tile and will install a new floor. That's fast. The workers shovel dirt and cement into this 50 lb bags, move them via cart and dump the dirt into the back of a big truck, all day long. A lot of intensive manual labor. Incredible.
Riding around today on my bicycle I realized that I can eat, shop and live a very complete life without a car. Korea is organized that way so using a car is superfluous. I like that a lot.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Bad Teacher Updated 4/16/08
Sometimes my students will say, in cute English, that John is a "bad boy." It's funny when they tattle on each other and then they get upset about it when someone tattles on them. So this week, Mr. Palmer is a "bad teacher." My student's tattled on me! A few unhappy parents have called the school threatening to remove their kid (and thus, their money) from the school and to ensure that their children are not teased or hit by other students.
Dio's mom is one of the big contesters. During "Robot Dance" two weeks ago I had combined my class with BDawg's class. Dio got kicked by a couple of students. I didn't see it because we had 14 kids dancing and "freezing" on the very small carpet circle. Robot dance is basically a game. When the music stops playing they must "freeze." Hence, the "robot" part of the game.
There I was sitting at the desk talking with two of my students when I saw Dio on the floor crying. Just a little sniff and tear. That's all. Also, the other day, when the students came into my class, Dio decided to just lay on the carpet and do what Dio does: act lazy. So, K-Fed decided to step on his leg. I didn't see K-Fed do this. I was busy helping another student. So Dio's mom calls expressing her concern. That's okay by me. I even met the lady for a parent-teacher-assistant Director-Director meeting on Thursday this week.
I also meet Roy's mom. She's a nice lady, really. But over the phone she yelled at the assistant Director about Roy being picked on in my class by K-Fed. K-Fed is evil. He teases them. He hits them. It looks like play fighting. They have these rolled up paper swords and they "en gard." They hit each other. If it gets too rough then, Roy will cry. Roy will cry when K-Fed tears up his sword too.
K-Fed is a really sneaky boy. Psycho sneaky b/c I don't see some of the stuff he does and I don't understand the teases and insults he hurls like projectile vomit (Exorcist reference). And when I do catch the little bugger, I reprimand him.
So, I got two angry parents, one unhappy boss, an assistant Director who was reduced to tears by Roy's mom and an American Director all on and up my ass! It hasn't been a fun week. It's very crowded in my ass! It could be worse, I could be losing my house (I had to poke fun of a relative of mine). I do want to be a great teacher for my one year stay in Korea.
I now have a teacher assistant in my class. I have assigned seating. I pick up the crackling sounding "white" phone in the classroom and call if any of them start to cry, have a paper cut, an argument, etc. Baby sitting. Expensive baby sitting which includes a paid apartment and cheap lunches.
Yesterday, little cute May cried for 10 minutes in my class because Sarah and Emily (the same class as K-Fed and Dio and Roy) teased her. I had to call the asst director who came up stairs and she made them apologize. Didn't help. I hear Sarah and K-Fed are leaving the school...
If I lose K-Fed and Dio as students, it will be great. Sometimes losing a customer is healthier for the business. Having a teacher asst for 20 minutes in my class is nice too because she will help with their jackets and back packs (they're six year olds and still can't zipper their up their own jackets) and will talk to them in Korean, help me discipline them to chill and report what they say to each other. Also, she can tell the Asst Director and Director I am a good or bad teacher too! Maybe next week a student will tattle on me and say "Good Teacher!"
***Update***
Well, kind blog reader it looks like I only have three students left in that one class where the parents complained and yelled at the assistant director. During the parent-teacher-assistant director-Director meeting last week, one of the parents told me she would keep her son, Dio, in the class. Anyway, I heard his whiny voice and wheezing ass yesterday leaving the school yesterday around 12:30pm. He waved to me. His mom bowed. I learned today that she had removed him from the school. And that Roy's mom did the same.
Another class I have on Tuesday and Thursday, had five students absent on Tuesday. Tomorrow, which is Thursday, I will find out if they are sick or if they also dropped out of the school. I can't tell if my boss is mad or angry, but I asked the CFO if I was going to get canned and he said no. On the other hand, this might be a "saving face" technique. Tomorrow is another day and if I find myself on the street soon, I will take the train to Seoul, stay in a Korean style hotel, and look for another job. To be continued, ad nauseaum...
Dio's mom is one of the big contesters. During "Robot Dance" two weeks ago I had combined my class with BDawg's class. Dio got kicked by a couple of students. I didn't see it because we had 14 kids dancing and "freezing" on the very small carpet circle. Robot dance is basically a game. When the music stops playing they must "freeze." Hence, the "robot" part of the game.
There I was sitting at the desk talking with two of my students when I saw Dio on the floor crying. Just a little sniff and tear. That's all. Also, the other day, when the students came into my class, Dio decided to just lay on the carpet and do what Dio does: act lazy. So, K-Fed decided to step on his leg. I didn't see K-Fed do this. I was busy helping another student. So Dio's mom calls expressing her concern. That's okay by me. I even met the lady for a parent-teacher-assistant Director-Director meeting on Thursday this week.
I also meet Roy's mom. She's a nice lady, really. But over the phone she yelled at the assistant Director about Roy being picked on in my class by K-Fed. K-Fed is evil. He teases them. He hits them. It looks like play fighting. They have these rolled up paper swords and they "en gard." They hit each other. If it gets too rough then, Roy will cry. Roy will cry when K-Fed tears up his sword too.
K-Fed is a really sneaky boy. Psycho sneaky b/c I don't see some of the stuff he does and I don't understand the teases and insults he hurls like projectile vomit (Exorcist reference). And when I do catch the little bugger, I reprimand him.
So, I got two angry parents, one unhappy boss, an assistant Director who was reduced to tears by Roy's mom and an American Director all on and up my ass! It hasn't been a fun week. It's very crowded in my ass! It could be worse, I could be losing my house (I had to poke fun of a relative of mine). I do want to be a great teacher for my one year stay in Korea.
I now have a teacher assistant in my class. I have assigned seating. I pick up the crackling sounding "white" phone in the classroom and call if any of them start to cry, have a paper cut, an argument, etc. Baby sitting. Expensive baby sitting which includes a paid apartment and cheap lunches.
Yesterday, little cute May cried for 10 minutes in my class because Sarah and Emily (the same class as K-Fed and Dio and Roy) teased her. I had to call the asst director who came up stairs and she made them apologize. Didn't help. I hear Sarah and K-Fed are leaving the school...
If I lose K-Fed and Dio as students, it will be great. Sometimes losing a customer is healthier for the business. Having a teacher asst for 20 minutes in my class is nice too because she will help with their jackets and back packs (they're six year olds and still can't zipper their up their own jackets) and will talk to them in Korean, help me discipline them to chill and report what they say to each other. Also, she can tell the Asst Director and Director I am a good or bad teacher too! Maybe next week a student will tattle on me and say "Good Teacher!"
***Update***
Well, kind blog reader it looks like I only have three students left in that one class where the parents complained and yelled at the assistant director. During the parent-teacher-assistant director-Director meeting last week, one of the parents told me she would keep her son, Dio, in the class. Anyway, I heard his whiny voice and wheezing ass yesterday leaving the school yesterday around 12:30pm. He waved to me. His mom bowed. I learned today that she had removed him from the school. And that Roy's mom did the same.
Another class I have on Tuesday and Thursday, had five students absent on Tuesday. Tomorrow, which is Thursday, I will find out if they are sick or if they also dropped out of the school. I can't tell if my boss is mad or angry, but I asked the CFO if I was going to get canned and he said no. On the other hand, this might be a "saving face" technique. Tomorrow is another day and if I find myself on the street soon, I will take the train to Seoul, stay in a Korean style hotel, and look for another job. To be continued, ad nauseaum...
Do Korean Cats smell like Kim Chi?
Cats are pretty rare here in Korea. As an undergrad at Cal Poly, my Korean friend, who's nick name was "Speedy Gonzalez" (he liked to be called "Speedy"), hated--I mean he hated cats. They gave him the creeps. It was an unusual reaction. Some Korean people here hate cats too. It's cultural and I believe there are a lot of old stories passed down that depict cats negatively and are believed to bring bad spirits or spirits of the dead back...I will investigate!
There's a local cat with a RFID tag in it's ear. (See picture on side bar). She's a sweety. I always bring her some milk. She lives in the Hi-Mart store down the street. The owner is very friendly. He showed me that the cat lives under the vinyl awning that covers the side of the Mart. There's a series of boxes that lead up to an entrance in the vinyl. When I took that picture, she was, at first, in the shadows near the entrance. But when I talked to her, she got up and walked into the sunlight and sat down for her picture. Pretty smart.
When I am in that area, I buy a little milk in a 5 oz container, drink about 4oz and carefully open the cartoon so that she can drink from the container. I basically peel the card board back in a long strip, so that she can drink the milk.
There's another picture of a stray cat in my hood. (See side bar) Basically, all cats look like that stray one. They are abandoned and they probably pick through the yellow bags for food or eat whatever is available. As you know Korean food is spicy and has garlic, I wonder if the cats eat that?
I don't know why that cat has a RFID tag. I imagine the owner did it for protection. It is pierced through her ear. You can see the scare and skin that has bubbled and later healed around it. It looks like the Challenger Shuttle and is yellow. Maybe that is to prevent it from being picked up by the authorities?
There's a local cat with a RFID tag in it's ear. (See picture on side bar). She's a sweety. I always bring her some milk. She lives in the Hi-Mart store down the street. The owner is very friendly. He showed me that the cat lives under the vinyl awning that covers the side of the Mart. There's a series of boxes that lead up to an entrance in the vinyl. When I took that picture, she was, at first, in the shadows near the entrance. But when I talked to her, she got up and walked into the sunlight and sat down for her picture. Pretty smart.
When I am in that area, I buy a little milk in a 5 oz container, drink about 4oz and carefully open the cartoon so that she can drink from the container. I basically peel the card board back in a long strip, so that she can drink the milk.
There's another picture of a stray cat in my hood. (See side bar) Basically, all cats look like that stray one. They are abandoned and they probably pick through the yellow bags for food or eat whatever is available. As you know Korean food is spicy and has garlic, I wonder if the cats eat that?
I don't know why that cat has a RFID tag. I imagine the owner did it for protection. It is pierced through her ear. You can see the scare and skin that has bubbled and later healed around it. It looks like the Challenger Shuttle and is yellow. Maybe that is to prevent it from being picked up by the authorities?
Sunday, April 6, 2008
My students
My Korean students are smart, warm, funny and a joy. My job is difficult but there's always something good going on in class. Although I might need to send them on various timeouts vis a vis my self-invented "X-Box," they're pretty much well behaved. Of course there are few evil kids, the kind where you want them to be sick every day, but for the most part, I am pretty happy with my little munchkins.
X-Box is a small box I draw in the corner of the white board. If a student gets three "x", then he/she will have to stand facing the whiteboard or wall or not play a game that day. I make them stand for five minutes. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they act defiant. But they really hate being singled out from the group unless it's a couple of the evil kids who someone how revel in this experience. I'm sure one of them will become a serial killer. During lunch which I help administer every day at 12:20pm, one of the evil students named "Jake," likes to talk to his chop sticks. His eyes almost cross from the intensity of the conversation between him and his plastic practice chop sticks:
"We will take over this class, and kill the teachers. We will then tear down all the paintings we did and set fire to them in the middle of the carpet. Yes, we will do this..."
In that same class, we have Hank. Hank is the kind of kid who will act passive aggressively. He will start crying and tell the teacher how Mary has violated his lunch tray or hit him while he is actually punching the kid back who supposedly hurt him! Or he will hit the kid and then tell the teacher how bad that kid has been to him. He will also yell "no" when you try to help him with his jacket. AAAhh! I let the other teacher handle Hank.
Besides the evil kids, there is one six year old student named May who say in perfect, cute English to me: "Mr. Palmer? Time for X-box?" I always reply to her, "maybe."
Another favorite I have is a student named Anna. She's always beating up Scott in a playful way. In the middle of Scott's beating right before class, she will walk up to me and tell me in really good English about her day or who is absent, etc. During class time, she will ask questions or answer all the questions on the activity sheets, etc. She is really smart.
I like Judy who insists on calling me "Hello, baby monster." She loves that and never tires of making fun of my Korean words which I say sometimes. Especially "chun chun-e" whenever they hurriedly go from class to the awaiting diesel smoking buses.
I have a student named after a Korean bicycle who draws pictures on the white board of Scott and his imaginery chicken-looking girl friend. Scott sits there fuming until the drawing is complete and runs after him yelling only to get his butt kicked by a Korean boy with a Korean bicycle name. This is all play fighting which the school discourages of course but they're kids and that's what they do. Of course I don't allow standing on chairs or anything to get out of hand. Unless it was the time that Dio (see another post about report cards) got kicked by a couple of girl students during a game called "robot dance." I didn't see it but his mom called later to complain. Dio is a cry baby for sure but I feel bad that the girl students were treating him badly. He's the kind of kid who needs help walking down stairs. Really.
Jack is one of the sweetest kids in my 7 year old class. He is the tallest and has a couple of years of tae kwon do. So, him and Drew and Mark (who must weigh 100 pounds) will have play fights on the carpet with Jack usually winning. I have them play "King of the Hill" and when the girls get involved, the game usually dissolves very quickly. He doesn't like to play with girls.
Then there's Roy who is about five. He is very advanced and has a great sense of humor. I can talk to him in different English tenses like future present. How about that!
X-Box is a small box I draw in the corner of the white board. If a student gets three "x", then he/she will have to stand facing the whiteboard or wall or not play a game that day. I make them stand for five minutes. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they act defiant. But they really hate being singled out from the group unless it's a couple of the evil kids who someone how revel in this experience. I'm sure one of them will become a serial killer. During lunch which I help administer every day at 12:20pm, one of the evil students named "Jake," likes to talk to his chop sticks. His eyes almost cross from the intensity of the conversation between him and his plastic practice chop sticks:
"We will take over this class, and kill the teachers. We will then tear down all the paintings we did and set fire to them in the middle of the carpet. Yes, we will do this..."
In that same class, we have Hank. Hank is the kind of kid who will act passive aggressively. He will start crying and tell the teacher how Mary has violated his lunch tray or hit him while he is actually punching the kid back who supposedly hurt him! Or he will hit the kid and then tell the teacher how bad that kid has been to him. He will also yell "no" when you try to help him with his jacket. AAAhh! I let the other teacher handle Hank.
Besides the evil kids, there is one six year old student named May who say in perfect, cute English to me: "Mr. Palmer? Time for X-box?" I always reply to her, "maybe."
Another favorite I have is a student named Anna. She's always beating up Scott in a playful way. In the middle of Scott's beating right before class, she will walk up to me and tell me in really good English about her day or who is absent, etc. During class time, she will ask questions or answer all the questions on the activity sheets, etc. She is really smart.
I like Judy who insists on calling me "Hello, baby monster." She loves that and never tires of making fun of my Korean words which I say sometimes. Especially "chun chun-e" whenever they hurriedly go from class to the awaiting diesel smoking buses.
I have a student named after a Korean bicycle who draws pictures on the white board of Scott and his imaginery chicken-looking girl friend. Scott sits there fuming until the drawing is complete and runs after him yelling only to get his butt kicked by a Korean boy with a Korean bicycle name. This is all play fighting which the school discourages of course but they're kids and that's what they do. Of course I don't allow standing on chairs or anything to get out of hand. Unless it was the time that Dio (see another post about report cards) got kicked by a couple of girl students during a game called "robot dance." I didn't see it but his mom called later to complain. Dio is a cry baby for sure but I feel bad that the girl students were treating him badly. He's the kind of kid who needs help walking down stairs. Really.
Jack is one of the sweetest kids in my 7 year old class. He is the tallest and has a couple of years of tae kwon do. So, him and Drew and Mark (who must weigh 100 pounds) will have play fights on the carpet with Jack usually winning. I have them play "King of the Hill" and when the girls get involved, the game usually dissolves very quickly. He doesn't like to play with girls.
Then there's Roy who is about five. He is very advanced and has a great sense of humor. I can talk to him in different English tenses like future present. How about that!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Evil takes a holiday
Some of you know or have heard of my best friend O. He just made Associate Professor! Congratulations go out to him. He's on tenure track now towards full professor. I am very excited for his achievement and after his five plus years struggle to make tenure, the question still remains: why does evil prevail? And when it does fail or fall short, it takes a holiday?
Take Saddam Hussein. Evil dictator of Iraq. Lived a healthy and long life cut short by a hanging but nonetheless, survived a few wars, coup etats, ethnic and tribal uprisings, etc. Evil lives a long time even in different countries. When American leaves, what evil will rise up in it's place?
Then, take John Ritter, the actor from Three's Company. Funny comedian. Dies at age 50. Why? He made people laugh. Suffered some freakish stroke/heart attack. Yes, blog reader, life is not fair especially if you're a good person. Evil lives, Goodness dies. It's not Star Wars. Darth Vadar does not go over to the good force. So when my friend's tenure was blocked by one evil professor, I wonder why evil prevails for so long? Is it that people are afraid? What is it about evil that persuades and cajoles people into conformity? Can we really "blame" mass media? Are we like proverbial sheep? Why did this evil professor have so much sway in blocking O each time for tenure like Charles Manson's parole board? O hasn't changed. He just published more stuff in those five years, in fact, more than any of them! The frustration!
I congratulate O on his victory (please join in with the "V" sign). Goodness rules...for now.
Take Saddam Hussein. Evil dictator of Iraq. Lived a healthy and long life cut short by a hanging but nonetheless, survived a few wars, coup etats, ethnic and tribal uprisings, etc. Evil lives a long time even in different countries. When American leaves, what evil will rise up in it's place?
Then, take John Ritter, the actor from Three's Company. Funny comedian. Dies at age 50. Why? He made people laugh. Suffered some freakish stroke/heart attack. Yes, blog reader, life is not fair especially if you're a good person. Evil lives, Goodness dies. It's not Star Wars. Darth Vadar does not go over to the good force. So when my friend's tenure was blocked by one evil professor, I wonder why evil prevails for so long? Is it that people are afraid? What is it about evil that persuades and cajoles people into conformity? Can we really "blame" mass media? Are we like proverbial sheep? Why did this evil professor have so much sway in blocking O each time for tenure like Charles Manson's parole board? O hasn't changed. He just published more stuff in those five years, in fact, more than any of them! The frustration!
I congratulate O on his victory (please join in with the "V" sign)
Seedy Bars and Sandy Bike Paths of Suwon
Can't you say that the greatness of a country can be summarized by its highs and lows? In other words, how high it aspires and how low it plummets? In my travels in Suwon, I manage to find both. The Lows are sometimes more interesting and definitely easier to spot especially the Korean Host Cafes. The Highs are inspiring.
My travels are anthropological and sociological and finding interesting places is, well, interesting to me. The other night I found a few host bars in the Home Plus area in Yeongtong-dong. Home Plus is the Korean version of Wal-Mart/Target only the Home Pluses always have cool food courts and a friendlier staff.
My friend Inuk told me that all Koreans know where these "cafes" are. They are legitimate businesses. They serve alcohol, expensive food and are staffed by pretty hosts. In the States, you need to know someone who knows where they are. Not here. It's an open society and this gives you the feeling of safety; kinda of odd if you think about it. In the States, the seedy bars are located in bad neighborhoods. Here, they are located on quiet, non-descript streets of commercial and residential real estate. Anyway, I go in to the "Ace Cafe" or whatever it was called and I immediately get the stink eye from the host. So, I leave. I'm not wanted there and I'm not particularly interested in hanging out. I'm just interested in seeing the seedy life of what Suwon has to offer.
The other day, on my day off, when most of yas were sitting at your desks wishing you were me (yeah, right), I was riding my bicycle. I found an amazing 10-mile long stretch of bike path along side a man-made park that follows the (I'll put it's name in later) river. This path winds north and south through Suwon. Along the way are nicely manicured gardens, large rocks to sit on, about a dozen basketball half-courts with the rope still intact (find that in L.A., dawg), bridges and people walking, riding and talking along the river. It was so peaceful. I sat along the river and listened to the water rush down over the rocks spilling out. It was like I was back in my therapist office waiting for my appointment, listening to the fake waterfall machine that produces the faux water sound! It was great! Suwon city spent a lot of money carving out the bike paths and such making this a very livable city. Ah, the Highs are so good! I will go back again soon!
My travels are anthropological and sociological and finding interesting places is, well, interesting to me. The other night I found a few host bars in the Home Plus area in Yeongtong-dong. Home Plus is the Korean version of Wal-Mart/Target only the Home Pluses always have cool food courts and a friendlier staff.
My friend Inuk told me that all Koreans know where these "cafes" are. They are legitimate businesses. They serve alcohol, expensive food and are staffed by pretty hosts. In the States, you need to know someone who knows where they are. Not here. It's an open society and this gives you the feeling of safety; kinda of odd if you think about it. In the States, the seedy bars are located in bad neighborhoods. Here, they are located on quiet, non-descript streets of commercial and residential real estate. Anyway, I go in to the "Ace Cafe" or whatever it was called and I immediately get the stink eye from the host. So, I leave. I'm not wanted there and I'm not particularly interested in hanging out. I'm just interested in seeing the seedy life of what Suwon has to offer.
The other day, on my day off, when most of yas were sitting at your desks wishing you were me (yeah, right), I was riding my bicycle. I found an amazing 10-mile long stretch of bike path along side a man-made park that follows the (I'll put it's name in later) river. This path winds north and south through Suwon. Along the way are nicely manicured gardens, large rocks to sit on, about a dozen basketball half-courts with the rope still intact (find that in L.A., dawg), bridges and people walking, riding and talking along the river. It was so peaceful. I sat along the river and listened to the water rush down over the rocks spilling out. It was like I was back in my therapist office waiting for my appointment, listening to the fake waterfall machine that produces the faux water sound! It was great! Suwon city spent a lot of money carving out the bike paths and such making this a very livable city. Ah, the Highs are so good! I will go back again soon!
Friday, April 4, 2008
The Giant Cranes of Korea
Here in Suwon and probably most of Korea, there lies a crane on every corner. Not the kind for building those rectangular apartas (apartments) you see every where, but the toy kind. In the states we have these cranes at amusement parks or at Dolore's Diner in West LA (when ordering their curly fries, make sure they are cooked well), both containing stuff animals. Here in Korea however, these yellow colored monsters are money making machines!
The cranes are about .20 cents per play (200 won). They must weigh 900 pounds otherwise people would try to walk away with the machine to get to the contents. Inside the crane, there are 20 or 30 items including mp3 players, cigarette lighters, alcohol (see picture of little Whiskey Crane bottles) and my favorite, and not scene yet, live lobsters inside its own small tank! The goal is to use the mechanical fingers of the crane and lift the heavy weighted package into the basket in order to earn the prize. It’s difficult and when you’re drunk, as most crane players are, then winning is pure luck. These machines are strategically located near a bar on every block. In fact, there are at least four or five bars on every block! When playing the Happy Crane or the Polar Crane, etc the mechanical fingers always loose its grip just before you’re ready to drop the prize into the basket. Shaking the giant machine won’t work either. It’s too heavy and low to the ground and you’re too drunk anyway. You can easily drop about $5 on these Vegas style slot machines.
I haven’t found one with a live lobster yet. I’m still looking!
The cranes are about .20 cents per play (200 won). They must weigh 900 pounds otherwise people would try to walk away with the machine to get to the contents. Inside the crane, there are 20 or 30 items including mp3 players, cigarette lighters, alcohol (see picture of little Whiskey Crane bottles) and my favorite, and not scene yet, live lobsters inside its own small tank! The goal is to use the mechanical fingers of the crane and lift the heavy weighted package into the basket in order to earn the prize. It’s difficult and when you’re drunk, as most crane players are, then winning is pure luck. These machines are strategically located near a bar on every block. In fact, there are at least four or five bars on every block! When playing the Happy Crane or the Polar Crane, etc the mechanical fingers always loose its grip just before you’re ready to drop the prize into the basket. Shaking the giant machine won’t work either. It’s too heavy and low to the ground and you’re too drunk anyway. You can easily drop about $5 on these Vegas style slot machines.
I haven’t found one with a live lobster yet. I’m still looking!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Report Cards
Working at a language institute, many teachers are required to write quarterly report cards on the progress of each student. They are very detailed and include the students' strengths and weaknesses in obtaining that often elusive and shaky requisite English language skill Korean parents think their children need to compete in the global economy. I've been busy at work and started early on my report cards. Here's a sample:
Student name: Ronnie James Dio (English name)
Ronnie James Dio is a very warm and affectionate kid however as sweet and nice Dio is, he is lazy and dumb as they come! Not a good combination for a future professional you wish him to be! Ronnie does love to sing though and has a lovely voice most suitable for rock. I suggest you save your 800 dollars a month that you spend at the language institute and start a a 457CA college fund for Dio because he will need a lot of schooling. If he can't muster a passing grade of a "C" at a language institute, I can't imagine what he is getting in regular school. If you're serious about his and your future, you should immediately get a home tutor and get crackin! Remember: your social security is your first born named Dio!
Student name: Emily Lickyourson (English name)
Emily has potential but not in speaking English. Her daily aggressive and violent acts towards other amicable students, Roy, Larry and Sally suggest that Emily has not developed any social skills whatsoever. She does pack a powerful left punch as Roy has felt on many occasions! I suggest you save your 800 dollars a month and start to go to family therapy. Your child is acting out because you, as her parent/s, have modeled and instilled in her, some horrible social skills which resolve themselves in her daily visit to the Director's office for behavioral modification pep talk. Or if you are so inclined, please invest in a child's gym which offers martial arts. Maybe if she gets the shit kicked of her she'll kick your parenting stupid asses!
Yes, blog reader. Reports cards are a solemn affair. They require diplomatic verbiage and not very many parents really want the truth. :) If Korean parents are serious about language skills, perhaps learning Chinese would be a better option? They are the new super power!
Student name: Ronnie James Dio (English name)
Ronnie James Dio is a very warm and affectionate kid however as sweet and nice Dio is, he is lazy and dumb as they come! Not a good combination for a future professional you wish him to be! Ronnie does love to sing though and has a lovely voice most suitable for rock. I suggest you save your 800 dollars a month that you spend at the language institute and start a a 457CA college fund for Dio because he will need a lot of schooling. If he can't muster a passing grade of a "C" at a language institute, I can't imagine what he is getting in regular school. If you're serious about his and your future, you should immediately get a home tutor and get crackin! Remember: your social security is your first born named Dio!
Student name: Emily Lickyourson (English name)
Emily has potential but not in speaking English. Her daily aggressive and violent acts towards other amicable students, Roy, Larry and Sally suggest that Emily has not developed any social skills whatsoever. She does pack a powerful left punch as Roy has felt on many occasions! I suggest you save your 800 dollars a month and start to go to family therapy. Your child is acting out because you, as her parent/s, have modeled and instilled in her, some horrible social skills which resolve themselves in her daily visit to the Director's office for behavioral modification pep talk. Or if you are so inclined, please invest in a child's gym which offers martial arts. Maybe if she gets the shit kicked of her she'll kick your parenting stupid asses!
Yes, blog reader. Reports cards are a solemn affair. They require diplomatic verbiage and not very many parents really want the truth. :) If Korean parents are serious about language skills, perhaps learning Chinese would be a better option? They are the new super power!
Friday, March 28, 2008
The 2001 Monolithic space heaters
Korea is a country that can barely keep up with itself. This compliment is one way to describe the fast change this country has undergone in the last 60 years. Remember, parts of this beautiful land was blown up in the Korean War, held back by the Japanese suppression and withstood hundreds of years of “divine” ruling by war lords and kings. This under developed country became a “fighting tiger” and it shows even today.
A fun example is the (2001 A Space Odyssey theme plays) monolithic space heaters. See above picture. These few hundred pound beasts belch out heat of up to 300 degrees in a 180 degree angle using fuel stored in its belly. They are a major facet of keeping this homie warm throughout the day in the cold and dark basement of work for the next 12 months. They are located in every restaurant unless they have the traditional floor heating; pipes that pump hot water in the floor.
In the film I referenced above, the black monolith appears at significant points in human development. When we learned to make fire, the monolith was there. When we learned to fight and be aggressive, the monolith was there. When a new planet was born, yes, bright and cogent blog reader, I hope you’re catching on: the monolith was there. In Korea, you are never far from the monolith too. Their warm bodies welcoming you in from the cold. They belch in your face--like my 5 year old lunch class kids--warm air that feels good. As you can tell, heating was not on the list of Korean items to add when building up the last 60 years. Floor heating is installed in all residential units but central air and heating was not in commercial buildings. That’s where the monoliths come in.
They were added after buildings were assembled, electrical laid and cold water plumbing founded. The monoliths were there. I guess they wanted to maintain some sort of monolith monarchy. Heating by divine rule, perhaps? Teaching us that heat is the only element of the universe and we as mere humans, nothing by flotsam on its shores? Was the monolith saying to us: we are not allowing central air and heat, so you must install us everywhere? Maybe. Is the monolith a controlling force or agent in our lives?
I will tell you that the monolith was there last night when I ate mon-du for dinner. It stood guard in one of the walls, the size of a door frame, its green digital light on, compressors running quietly. They are our big brothers. Watching over us, keeping us warm in the winter and cool in the summer. They are the yin and yang, the hot and cold of Korea. Look for them in a store near you!
A fun example is the (2001 A Space Odyssey theme plays) monolithic space heaters. See above picture. These few hundred pound beasts belch out heat of up to 300 degrees in a 180 degree angle using fuel stored in its belly. They are a major facet of keeping this homie warm throughout the day in the cold and dark basement of work for the next 12 months. They are located in every restaurant unless they have the traditional floor heating; pipes that pump hot water in the floor.
In the film I referenced above, the black monolith appears at significant points in human development. When we learned to make fire, the monolith was there. When we learned to fight and be aggressive, the monolith was there. When a new planet was born, yes, bright and cogent blog reader, I hope you’re catching on: the monolith was there. In Korea, you are never far from the monolith too. Their warm bodies welcoming you in from the cold. They belch in your face--like my 5 year old lunch class kids--warm air that feels good. As you can tell, heating was not on the list of Korean items to add when building up the last 60 years. Floor heating is installed in all residential units but central air and heating was not in commercial buildings. That’s where the monoliths come in.
They were added after buildings were assembled, electrical laid and cold water plumbing founded. The monoliths were there. I guess they wanted to maintain some sort of monolith monarchy. Heating by divine rule, perhaps? Teaching us that heat is the only element of the universe and we as mere humans, nothing by flotsam on its shores? Was the monolith saying to us: we are not allowing central air and heat, so you must install us everywhere? Maybe. Is the monolith a controlling force or agent in our lives?
I will tell you that the monolith was there last night when I ate mon-du for dinner. It stood guard in one of the walls, the size of a door frame, its green digital light on, compressors running quietly. They are our big brothers. Watching over us, keeping us warm in the winter and cool in the summer. They are the yin and yang, the hot and cold of Korea. Look for them in a store near you!
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