The other day my best friend, O, emailed me an article about Koreans attending Ivy league schools and the enormous financial, emotional and physical tribulations students and families go through to get into the Ivies like Harvard and Yale, etc. I've pasted the article link at the end of this post.
Last night, during my favorite class, my favorite student, Amy, who is like a daughter to me, if I had a daughter, had bruises on her left upper arm. The weather has been warm recently and everyone is wearing short sleeves. She was rubbing her left arm a little and I could tell that something was bothering her. I noticed the four medium size, dark bruises. I asked Amy.
She told me her friend hit her on the arm and then later her mother hit her too. I asked why did her friend do that? The friend was angry but I think it was just an excuse to cover the real damage her mom did.
"My mom was angry at me..." she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Over English," she said. I thought: she's an excellent student. Her grammar is really great. She can talk to me in English...It took me a few minutes to process this and then I got really upset. I thought of making my homework easier or was it too difficult and it made her mom frustrated? Or was Amy not making strides that her mom thinks is adequate? I walked to the Director's office, trying to remain calm and focused and not to react, and asked him to talk to Amy to clarify how she got the bruises. Maybe I misunderstood.
He came in and asked Amy to come to his office. When she came back, she had tears in her eyes. The class was in the middle of their lesson so I sat down with Amy to give her instruction and time to settle down. She was upset and took a while to focus. She worked slowly on the activity sheet. I talked to her about the activity then asked her what the director said. She had tears in her eyes. I got her a tissue but she refused it. I told her how upset I was to see her arm like that and I wanted the director to talk to her about it too. I was trying not to cry.
I asked Amy if she felt safe at home and if the director or someone else were to call her mom, would Amy feel okay about it. She said it would not be a problem. I told Amy that where I come from, that kind of behavior is very serious and not tolerated. I told her that seeing her arm like that was upsetting to me and that I needed to tell my boss so he was aware.
The director told the owner about the bruises. The owner said it's the responsibility of Amy's public school teacher and administrators to notify the proper authorities of this abuse and if I see more bruises, then the owner can call and report the abuse. I feel helpless in this situation which mirrors my general helplessness: language and culture are barriers. How much pressure parents' feel when they are old and need the security to live a healthily life vis a vis their children's financial support? They are their social security; their life support and pressuring and pushing their kids to succeed will make them "successful" and also give the parents a safety net when they're old.
I am working through this... I was up for hours last night. My favorite student Amy, sweet and smart with two younger siblings working hard at English and me, indirectly, contributing to her success or failure as an English learner.
Here's the article:
April 27, 2008 Elite Korean Schools, Forging Ivy League Skills By Sam Dillon
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/27/world/asia/27seoul.html?ex=1366948800&en=b9c8a3db94765d6c&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
My gum rant and the free market economy
As some of you know I am a big big fan of chewing gum; all my life. When I came here I brought with me six packs of Orbit and a brand called "5." I'll chew a pack a week, usually. Orbit and "5" are my favorites and possible the best gum ever made. Finally, Wrigley's made advances in their gum products which leave their classic "Spearmint" gum (a terrible and horrible gum) in the crypt. Both Orbit and "5" have outstanding flavor which lasts a long time, they are sugarless and don't loose their gummy consistency after twenty or sixty minutes and perhaps most importantly, I don't have the urge to swallow the gum which, according to folklore, is not digested in our bodies...
Anyways, I've tried seven kinds of gum here by Lotte. There's Flavano. A mint flavored gum which after twenty minutes, you want to swallow and usually do. I've had that same experience with every gum made here. Another gum they make is a bubble gum. It's weak. Today I tried their ginseng gum which surprisingly was good and the flavor last a long time even after maneuvering in the cold and damp of Suwon. But who wants to chew on ginseng for sixty minutes?
Lotte's bubbles blow. No strength or sizable bubbles. Not fun. There are two or three major companies that make gum here and they all suck. The most popular brand and perhaps the most distributed are made by Lotte. Most if not all gum is made by this Korean Chaebol. All loose flavor quickly, few selection of sugarless and the consistency changes. Nobody knows, perhaps, that these gums suck. They have no comparison to excellent gum products. It could be cultural in the sense that they don't have the habit of chewing gum for more than twenty minutes...Which brings me to the topic of today's blog.
Would access to "superior" gum vis a vis the free market, improve Korea's gum? If Korea allowed Wrigley's Orbit and "5" entry into the gum market here, what would happen to Korean gum companies like Lotte? When the "borders" open to imports like gum, companies like Lotte that have been living large on their "successes" will have to trim the fat to become lean and mean again. This, of course, provided that people here would find Orbit "superior" to taste. Maybe Koreans are not used to chewing more than twenty minutes or more? Maybe Westerners chew too much gum which may cause more wear on our teeth?
Orbit and "5" are sugarless gums and have excellent flavors and varieties. I think that they would slam any Korean gum product either regular (w/ sugar) or not. People would abandon their favorite Korean Lotte gum for Orbit or "5." Lotte, the Korean company, maker of cookies and gum, could not compete. The free market would force Korean companies to re-evaluate and make a better gum product or leave the market. All I am saying I am in favor of more flavor.
If the market did open, I would buy a case of Orbit gum in case these American companies are shunned by the Korean public or taken down by some Nationalist bureaucrat. Koreans like Americans are full of pride about their companies but much more nationalistic and protectionist. A lot of products are available here, like Honda Accords, but they are heavily taxed via import duties. It's rare to see a Benz or a Beemer. If you own one of these cars in Korea, that means you have money, a lot of money. Most people who own a car purchase a Korean one. Korea protects its products by heavy import taxes. I don't have stats yet, my friends.
Of course the free market has mixed result with economies. But damn it I want my gum! F#@%IT: I can order it on the Internet.
Anyways, I've tried seven kinds of gum here by Lotte. There's Flavano. A mint flavored gum which after twenty minutes, you want to swallow and usually do. I've had that same experience with every gum made here. Another gum they make is a bubble gum. It's weak. Today I tried their ginseng gum which surprisingly was good and the flavor last a long time even after maneuvering in the cold and damp of Suwon. But who wants to chew on ginseng for sixty minutes?
Lotte's bubbles blow. No strength or sizable bubbles. Not fun. There are two or three major companies that make gum here and they all suck. The most popular brand and perhaps the most distributed are made by Lotte. Most if not all gum is made by this Korean Chaebol. All loose flavor quickly, few selection of sugarless and the consistency changes. Nobody knows, perhaps, that these gums suck. They have no comparison to excellent gum products. It could be cultural in the sense that they don't have the habit of chewing gum for more than twenty minutes...Which brings me to the topic of today's blog.
Would access to "superior" gum vis a vis the free market, improve Korea's gum? If Korea allowed Wrigley's Orbit and "5" entry into the gum market here, what would happen to Korean gum companies like Lotte? When the "borders" open to imports like gum, companies like Lotte that have been living large on their "successes" will have to trim the fat to become lean and mean again. This, of course, provided that people here would find Orbit "superior" to taste. Maybe Koreans are not used to chewing more than twenty minutes or more? Maybe Westerners chew too much gum which may cause more wear on our teeth?
Orbit and "5" are sugarless gums and have excellent flavors and varieties. I think that they would slam any Korean gum product either regular (w/ sugar) or not. People would abandon their favorite Korean Lotte gum for Orbit or "5." Lotte, the Korean company, maker of cookies and gum, could not compete. The free market would force Korean companies to re-evaluate and make a better gum product or leave the market. All I am saying I am in favor of more flavor.
If the market did open, I would buy a case of Orbit gum in case these American companies are shunned by the Korean public or taken down by some Nationalist bureaucrat. Koreans like Americans are full of pride about their companies but much more nationalistic and protectionist. A lot of products are available here, like Honda Accords, but they are heavily taxed via import duties. It's rare to see a Benz or a Beemer. If you own one of these cars in Korea, that means you have money, a lot of money. Most people who own a car purchase a Korean one. Korea protects its products by heavy import taxes. I don't have stats yet, my friends.
Of course the free market has mixed result with economies. But damn it I want my gum! F#@%IT: I can order it on the Internet.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Book Store Koan: What is the sound of one hand whacking?
It all started on the cab ride home Saturday afternoon after work. The director of the school, myself and another teacher, a Canadian woman, shared a ride back to "Gob-pan-jong dong" Basically, Suwon's "ghetto" before hundreds of new apartments were built two years ago...It was raining and all the taxis were full, so the director asked the Korean receptionist, a super nice lady who can calm any hysterical kid reeling from the paralysis of mommy leaving her in a language institute, in my school, to call us a cab.
"There's an adult book store in our neighborhood," the director said as the taxi turned left along the long stretch of fallow rice fields. "I found it the other day." The female Canadian teacher, feeling a little uncomfortable, said that it would have been better if the cab ride home was just all guys.
"I don't go to those places," the Director added defensively.
"I do," I said a little mocking also knowing that my personal lube is low and needing replacement-- I asked, "Where is it?"
The cab driver made a right turn towards one of the ubiquitous Family Marts that line my area. "It's the place that has green windows. They use some adhesive to prevent looking in," he replied. Except for me, people are having sex all the time.
They have these "love hotels" with funny, 14th century Old English names like "Castle Rock." Couples, lovers, "sanchos/sanchas," cheating spouses, escorts on business and the like use the facilities for quick one hour love sessions. If you drink with Koreans, they down beer quickly. So they must have sex quickly, too. Right? We drove by the adult book store. The green adhesive blocked the light from the store. It looked closed. It was a cloudy, chilly day, unseasonably chilling for Spring. I welcome the chilly weather here in my little "Gob-pan-jong." Back in Los Angeles, it's always warm and pleasant. It has an "unreal" feeling to it like the Hollywood movie set it really is. You've seen the movies where the street is "wet" from a fresh rain but everything else like the buildings look dry? That's Los Angeles. Fake wetness. Fake boobs. Botox lips. Botox butts. Plastic surgery of chins, abs and eyes. Dog diets, dog biscuit stores. And here I am going to buy some silicon lube and look at some whacking magazines (Airplane reference).
Around 9pm I was rested and decided to go out to check out the adult book store. I walked for ten minutes. My big Saturday night plans: I am going to buy some magazines and some lube and take myself out for a nice dinner! How romantic! The road that runs parallel to the rice fields is dark and the cold wind is hitting my face. I walk pass buildings in various stages of construction, big yellow, Tonka style trucks, mud piles, brick piles and finally the green windowed book store! Salvation, reader! I look south towards the large red neon lights of the Presbyterian church a half a mile away. Nothing says Christianity like large, red neon lighting of the Cross of Jesus and tele-prompter flashing verses on a church building.
The Book Store is a large room. There are wood-grained shelves that line all four walls. Dildos, vibrators and edible panties hang from metal mesh or sit on the shelves, nicely arranged for viewing. These are all imported American products. The boxes are in English. You would think that the Korean Chaebols (big industries like Samsung) would have sex subsidiaries that make adult toys but they don't. Maybe "Sam's Hung" would be shot down as a bad idea?
Anyway, I am looking around the shelves, floor and such and there are no books or magazines, anywhere! It's a Porn Store not a Book Store. There's silicon asses, mouths, and vagina's all for sale. All pink, open and ready for adventure. Pink, black and white vibrators of different sizes and shapes and textures. If I had a girl friend would I want her to have a big, black vibrator next to the pillow, ready for action? How could I compete with that? Forgettabout it! Disgusting, huh?
The panties are different colors and sizes. They are of the "easy access" ones for love making. They are taste...full. The owner stumbles out and greets me. He is speaking to me. It sounds like he is inviting me to take my jacket off and stay a while, maybe have some coffee, discuss politics and personal lube choices perhaps? His dark red, blood shot eyes are in need of some major Visine, reader. And his openness and cordiality make me feel uncomfortable. I guess it's just my desire to remain anonymous when I shop for lube. I tell him thank you, I am just looking. He points to the wall that has Korean condoms and lubricants. One of them says "Adam." I have a brother named Adam, I think! His name is on a condom box; I got to tell him! I point to a magazine that laid on the shelf. A pretty girl in panties is smiling from the page. I ask him if he has anymore. He says he doesn't. In fact, he doesn't sell magazines or books. A porn store without magazines? I know this is Korea, but come on! I know I am being culturally insensitive, dear reader, but it's like pizza without cheese. It's like french fries without ketchup. It's like South without North. WTF?
I continue wandering around looking at the sundries. Pictures of Caucasian woman on boxes, their faces smiling, open to any sort of need and desire I may have. But no magazines. Ah, the frustration! As I sometimes do, reader, when I wonder around, I maybe yell out something in English; it's okay no one understands or cares really. Half the population is drunk after work and they must think that anyone who comes here to live must be crazy, so leave him be! However, tonight inside the Porn Den of "Gob-pan-jong dong" I don't yell out loud or babble to myself. This would invite Red Eye to talk to me again. Maybe he's really lonely working in a porn store, in the middle of Korea, so he drinks, his eyes swell up, he watches his DVDs over and over, or from the lack of visitors and when he sees a foreigner, he feels like a new friend, a white savior, has just arrived. One who knows how his lonely heart beckons for late night conversation at the Porn Store. And who wouldn't? There's a Christian church every half mile from the Porn Store. Imagine that pressure the owner feels? He's competing with God. And that's a losing game, kind reader. I leave the Porn Store. No magazines. No lube. Just empty hand. Zen Koan: What is the sound of one hand whacking?
"There's an adult book store in our neighborhood," the director said as the taxi turned left along the long stretch of fallow rice fields. "I found it the other day." The female Canadian teacher, feeling a little uncomfortable, said that it would have been better if the cab ride home was just all guys.
"I don't go to those places," the Director added defensively.
"I do," I said a little mocking also knowing that my personal lube is low and needing replacement-- I asked, "Where is it?"
The cab driver made a right turn towards one of the ubiquitous Family Marts that line my area. "It's the place that has green windows. They use some adhesive to prevent looking in," he replied. Except for me, people are having sex all the time.
They have these "love hotels" with funny, 14th century Old English names like "Castle Rock." Couples, lovers, "sanchos/sanchas," cheating spouses, escorts on business and the like use the facilities for quick one hour love sessions. If you drink with Koreans, they down beer quickly. So they must have sex quickly, too. Right? We drove by the adult book store. The green adhesive blocked the light from the store. It looked closed. It was a cloudy, chilly day, unseasonably chilling for Spring. I welcome the chilly weather here in my little "Gob-pan-jong." Back in Los Angeles, it's always warm and pleasant. It has an "unreal" feeling to it like the Hollywood movie set it really is. You've seen the movies where the street is "wet" from a fresh rain but everything else like the buildings look dry? That's Los Angeles. Fake wetness. Fake boobs. Botox lips. Botox butts. Plastic surgery of chins, abs and eyes. Dog diets, dog biscuit stores. And here I am going to buy some silicon lube and look at some whacking magazines (Airplane reference).
Around 9pm I was rested and decided to go out to check out the adult book store. I walked for ten minutes. My big Saturday night plans: I am going to buy some magazines and some lube and take myself out for a nice dinner! How romantic! The road that runs parallel to the rice fields is dark and the cold wind is hitting my face. I walk pass buildings in various stages of construction, big yellow, Tonka style trucks, mud piles, brick piles and finally the green windowed book store! Salvation, reader! I look south towards the large red neon lights of the Presbyterian church a half a mile away. Nothing says Christianity like large, red neon lighting of the Cross of Jesus and tele-prompter flashing verses on a church building.
The Book Store is a large room. There are wood-grained shelves that line all four walls. Dildos, vibrators and edible panties hang from metal mesh or sit on the shelves, nicely arranged for viewing. These are all imported American products. The boxes are in English. You would think that the Korean Chaebols (big industries like Samsung) would have sex subsidiaries that make adult toys but they don't. Maybe "Sam's Hung" would be shot down as a bad idea?
Anyway, I am looking around the shelves, floor and such and there are no books or magazines, anywhere! It's a Porn Store not a Book Store. There's silicon asses, mouths, and vagina's all for sale. All pink, open and ready for adventure. Pink, black and white vibrators of different sizes and shapes and textures. If I had a girl friend would I want her to have a big, black vibrator next to the pillow, ready for action? How could I compete with that? Forgettabout it! Disgusting, huh?
The panties are different colors and sizes. They are of the "easy access" ones for love making. They are taste...full. The owner stumbles out and greets me. He is speaking to me. It sounds like he is inviting me to take my jacket off and stay a while, maybe have some coffee, discuss politics and personal lube choices perhaps? His dark red, blood shot eyes are in need of some major Visine, reader. And his openness and cordiality make me feel uncomfortable. I guess it's just my desire to remain anonymous when I shop for lube. I tell him thank you, I am just looking. He points to the wall that has Korean condoms and lubricants. One of them says "Adam." I have a brother named Adam, I think! His name is on a condom box; I got to tell him! I point to a magazine that laid on the shelf. A pretty girl in panties is smiling from the page. I ask him if he has anymore. He says he doesn't. In fact, he doesn't sell magazines or books. A porn store without magazines? I know this is Korea, but come on! I know I am being culturally insensitive, dear reader, but it's like pizza without cheese. It's like french fries without ketchup. It's like South without North. WTF?
I continue wandering around looking at the sundries. Pictures of Caucasian woman on boxes, their faces smiling, open to any sort of need and desire I may have. But no magazines. Ah, the frustration! As I sometimes do, reader, when I wonder around, I maybe yell out something in English; it's okay no one understands or cares really. Half the population is drunk after work and they must think that anyone who comes here to live must be crazy, so leave him be! However, tonight inside the Porn Den of "Gob-pan-jong dong" I don't yell out loud or babble to myself. This would invite Red Eye to talk to me again. Maybe he's really lonely working in a porn store, in the middle of Korea, so he drinks, his eyes swell up, he watches his DVDs over and over, or from the lack of visitors and when he sees a foreigner, he feels like a new friend, a white savior, has just arrived. One who knows how his lonely heart beckons for late night conversation at the Porn Store. And who wouldn't? There's a Christian church every half mile from the Porn Store. Imagine that pressure the owner feels? He's competing with God. And that's a losing game, kind reader. I leave the Porn Store. No magazines. No lube. Just empty hand. Zen Koan: What is the sound of one hand whacking?
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Funny Business Names in Korea
I see businesses with funny names and posted these for your enjoyment.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Mixed use commercial building Korean Style
We had another fire this past week but this time it was located down the street from the school. I will post pictures later. What I wanted to blog on about was the quaint Korean style of mixed use of commercial space and the speed at which Koreans build stuff.
If you see the picture of the office building, on the first floor is a Hyundai dealership. The second floor is a restaurant, the third floor a pool hall, the fifth floor a dental clinic, the sixth floor a "nori ban" or Karaoke club and the last floor is a bar. This is Korean style for sure. You could spend the whole day in that building! Buy a car, eat lunch, drink some beers and play pool and make it in time for your dentist appt. After the dentist, go upstairs to the bar and later meet your friends to eat and drink at the "nori ban." Back in the States, as you know, this style of mixing commercial space does not happen like that. You have doctors and dentists in a building but not a pool hall, restaurant and a dentist.
Near my school is a three building complex called Digital Empire. It was set-up to attract technology companies to rent space. Inside the two block long complex, are dozens of restaurants, convenience shops like 7/11, shoes stores, businesses and apartment housing. Koreans build things quickly. A new subway stop will open in a year, after I am gone, that will decrease traffic and bring in business.
A restaurant down the street from my apt, closed up shop and went out of business--this week. A day later, all the restaurant equipment was gone. Yesterday and today they gutted the restaurant, took away the walls and tile and will install a new floor. That's fast. The workers shovel dirt and cement into this 50 lb bags, move them via cart and dump the dirt into the back of a big truck, all day long. A lot of intensive manual labor. Incredible.
Riding around today on my bicycle I realized that I can eat, shop and live a very complete life without a car. Korea is organized that way so using a car is superfluous. I like that a lot.
If you see the picture of the office building, on the first floor is a Hyundai dealership. The second floor is a restaurant, the third floor a pool hall, the fifth floor a dental clinic, the sixth floor a "nori ban" or Karaoke club and the last floor is a bar. This is Korean style for sure. You could spend the whole day in that building! Buy a car, eat lunch, drink some beers and play pool and make it in time for your dentist appt. After the dentist, go upstairs to the bar and later meet your friends to eat and drink at the "nori ban." Back in the States, as you know, this style of mixing commercial space does not happen like that. You have doctors and dentists in a building but not a pool hall, restaurant and a dentist.
Near my school is a three building complex called Digital Empire. It was set-up to attract technology companies to rent space. Inside the two block long complex, are dozens of restaurants, convenience shops like 7/11, shoes stores, businesses and apartment housing. Koreans build things quickly. A new subway stop will open in a year, after I am gone, that will decrease traffic and bring in business.
A restaurant down the street from my apt, closed up shop and went out of business--this week. A day later, all the restaurant equipment was gone. Yesterday and today they gutted the restaurant, took away the walls and tile and will install a new floor. That's fast. The workers shovel dirt and cement into this 50 lb bags, move them via cart and dump the dirt into the back of a big truck, all day long. A lot of intensive manual labor. Incredible.
Riding around today on my bicycle I realized that I can eat, shop and live a very complete life without a car. Korea is organized that way so using a car is superfluous. I like that a lot.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Bad Teacher Updated 4/16/08
Sometimes my students will say, in cute English, that John is a "bad boy." It's funny when they tattle on each other and then they get upset about it when someone tattles on them. So this week, Mr. Palmer is a "bad teacher." My student's tattled on me! A few unhappy parents have called the school threatening to remove their kid (and thus, their money) from the school and to ensure that their children are not teased or hit by other students.
Dio's mom is one of the big contesters. During "Robot Dance" two weeks ago I had combined my class with BDawg's class. Dio got kicked by a couple of students. I didn't see it because we had 14 kids dancing and "freezing" on the very small carpet circle. Robot dance is basically a game. When the music stops playing they must "freeze." Hence, the "robot" part of the game.
There I was sitting at the desk talking with two of my students when I saw Dio on the floor crying. Just a little sniff and tear. That's all. Also, the other day, when the students came into my class, Dio decided to just lay on the carpet and do what Dio does: act lazy. So, K-Fed decided to step on his leg. I didn't see K-Fed do this. I was busy helping another student. So Dio's mom calls expressing her concern. That's okay by me. I even met the lady for a parent-teacher-assistant Director-Director meeting on Thursday this week.
I also meet Roy's mom. She's a nice lady, really. But over the phone she yelled at the assistant Director about Roy being picked on in my class by K-Fed. K-Fed is evil. He teases them. He hits them. It looks like play fighting. They have these rolled up paper swords and they "en gard." They hit each other. If it gets too rough then, Roy will cry. Roy will cry when K-Fed tears up his sword too.
K-Fed is a really sneaky boy. Psycho sneaky b/c I don't see some of the stuff he does and I don't understand the teases and insults he hurls like projectile vomit (Exorcist reference). And when I do catch the little bugger, I reprimand him.
So, I got two angry parents, one unhappy boss, an assistant Director who was reduced to tears by Roy's mom and an American Director all on and up my ass! It hasn't been a fun week. It's very crowded in my ass! It could be worse, I could be losing my house (I had to poke fun of a relative of mine). I do want to be a great teacher for my one year stay in Korea.
I now have a teacher assistant in my class. I have assigned seating. I pick up the crackling sounding "white" phone in the classroom and call if any of them start to cry, have a paper cut, an argument, etc. Baby sitting. Expensive baby sitting which includes a paid apartment and cheap lunches.
Yesterday, little cute May cried for 10 minutes in my class because Sarah and Emily (the same class as K-Fed and Dio and Roy) teased her. I had to call the asst director who came up stairs and she made them apologize. Didn't help. I hear Sarah and K-Fed are leaving the school...
If I lose K-Fed and Dio as students, it will be great. Sometimes losing a customer is healthier for the business. Having a teacher asst for 20 minutes in my class is nice too because she will help with their jackets and back packs (they're six year olds and still can't zipper their up their own jackets) and will talk to them in Korean, help me discipline them to chill and report what they say to each other. Also, she can tell the Asst Director and Director I am a good or bad teacher too! Maybe next week a student will tattle on me and say "Good Teacher!"
***Update***
Well, kind blog reader it looks like I only have three students left in that one class where the parents complained and yelled at the assistant director. During the parent-teacher-assistant director-Director meeting last week, one of the parents told me she would keep her son, Dio, in the class. Anyway, I heard his whiny voice and wheezing ass yesterday leaving the school yesterday around 12:30pm. He waved to me. His mom bowed. I learned today that she had removed him from the school. And that Roy's mom did the same.
Another class I have on Tuesday and Thursday, had five students absent on Tuesday. Tomorrow, which is Thursday, I will find out if they are sick or if they also dropped out of the school. I can't tell if my boss is mad or angry, but I asked the CFO if I was going to get canned and he said no. On the other hand, this might be a "saving face" technique. Tomorrow is another day and if I find myself on the street soon, I will take the train to Seoul, stay in a Korean style hotel, and look for another job. To be continued, ad nauseaum...
Dio's mom is one of the big contesters. During "Robot Dance" two weeks ago I had combined my class with BDawg's class. Dio got kicked by a couple of students. I didn't see it because we had 14 kids dancing and "freezing" on the very small carpet circle. Robot dance is basically a game. When the music stops playing they must "freeze." Hence, the "robot" part of the game.
There I was sitting at the desk talking with two of my students when I saw Dio on the floor crying. Just a little sniff and tear. That's all. Also, the other day, when the students came into my class, Dio decided to just lay on the carpet and do what Dio does: act lazy. So, K-Fed decided to step on his leg. I didn't see K-Fed do this. I was busy helping another student. So Dio's mom calls expressing her concern. That's okay by me. I even met the lady for a parent-teacher-assistant Director-Director meeting on Thursday this week.
I also meet Roy's mom. She's a nice lady, really. But over the phone she yelled at the assistant Director about Roy being picked on in my class by K-Fed. K-Fed is evil. He teases them. He hits them. It looks like play fighting. They have these rolled up paper swords and they "en gard." They hit each other. If it gets too rough then, Roy will cry. Roy will cry when K-Fed tears up his sword too.
K-Fed is a really sneaky boy. Psycho sneaky b/c I don't see some of the stuff he does and I don't understand the teases and insults he hurls like projectile vomit (Exorcist reference). And when I do catch the little bugger, I reprimand him.
So, I got two angry parents, one unhappy boss, an assistant Director who was reduced to tears by Roy's mom and an American Director all on and up my ass! It hasn't been a fun week. It's very crowded in my ass! It could be worse, I could be losing my house (I had to poke fun of a relative of mine). I do want to be a great teacher for my one year stay in Korea.
I now have a teacher assistant in my class. I have assigned seating. I pick up the crackling sounding "white" phone in the classroom and call if any of them start to cry, have a paper cut, an argument, etc. Baby sitting. Expensive baby sitting which includes a paid apartment and cheap lunches.
Yesterday, little cute May cried for 10 minutes in my class because Sarah and Emily (the same class as K-Fed and Dio and Roy) teased her. I had to call the asst director who came up stairs and she made them apologize. Didn't help. I hear Sarah and K-Fed are leaving the school...
If I lose K-Fed and Dio as students, it will be great. Sometimes losing a customer is healthier for the business. Having a teacher asst for 20 minutes in my class is nice too because she will help with their jackets and back packs (they're six year olds and still can't zipper their up their own jackets) and will talk to them in Korean, help me discipline them to chill and report what they say to each other. Also, she can tell the Asst Director and Director I am a good or bad teacher too! Maybe next week a student will tattle on me and say "Good Teacher!"
***Update***
Well, kind blog reader it looks like I only have three students left in that one class where the parents complained and yelled at the assistant director. During the parent-teacher-assistant director-Director meeting last week, one of the parents told me she would keep her son, Dio, in the class. Anyway, I heard his whiny voice and wheezing ass yesterday leaving the school yesterday around 12:30pm. He waved to me. His mom bowed. I learned today that she had removed him from the school. And that Roy's mom did the same.
Another class I have on Tuesday and Thursday, had five students absent on Tuesday. Tomorrow, which is Thursday, I will find out if they are sick or if they also dropped out of the school. I can't tell if my boss is mad or angry, but I asked the CFO if I was going to get canned and he said no. On the other hand, this might be a "saving face" technique. Tomorrow is another day and if I find myself on the street soon, I will take the train to Seoul, stay in a Korean style hotel, and look for another job. To be continued, ad nauseaum...
Do Korean Cats smell like Kim Chi?
Cats are pretty rare here in Korea. As an undergrad at Cal Poly, my Korean friend, who's nick name was "Speedy Gonzalez" (he liked to be called "Speedy"), hated--I mean he hated cats. They gave him the creeps. It was an unusual reaction. Some Korean people here hate cats too. It's cultural and I believe there are a lot of old stories passed down that depict cats negatively and are believed to bring bad spirits or spirits of the dead back...I will investigate!
There's a local cat with a RFID tag in it's ear. (See picture on side bar). She's a sweety. I always bring her some milk. She lives in the Hi-Mart store down the street. The owner is very friendly. He showed me that the cat lives under the vinyl awning that covers the side of the Mart. There's a series of boxes that lead up to an entrance in the vinyl. When I took that picture, she was, at first, in the shadows near the entrance. But when I talked to her, she got up and walked into the sunlight and sat down for her picture. Pretty smart.
When I am in that area, I buy a little milk in a 5 oz container, drink about 4oz and carefully open the cartoon so that she can drink from the container. I basically peel the card board back in a long strip, so that she can drink the milk.
There's another picture of a stray cat in my hood. (See side bar) Basically, all cats look like that stray one. They are abandoned and they probably pick through the yellow bags for food or eat whatever is available. As you know Korean food is spicy and has garlic, I wonder if the cats eat that?
I don't know why that cat has a RFID tag. I imagine the owner did it for protection. It is pierced through her ear. You can see the scare and skin that has bubbled and later healed around it. It looks like the Challenger Shuttle and is yellow. Maybe that is to prevent it from being picked up by the authorities?
There's a local cat with a RFID tag in it's ear. (See picture on side bar). She's a sweety. I always bring her some milk. She lives in the Hi-Mart store down the street. The owner is very friendly. He showed me that the cat lives under the vinyl awning that covers the side of the Mart. There's a series of boxes that lead up to an entrance in the vinyl. When I took that picture, she was, at first, in the shadows near the entrance. But when I talked to her, she got up and walked into the sunlight and sat down for her picture. Pretty smart.
When I am in that area, I buy a little milk in a 5 oz container, drink about 4oz and carefully open the cartoon so that she can drink from the container. I basically peel the card board back in a long strip, so that she can drink the milk.
There's another picture of a stray cat in my hood. (See side bar) Basically, all cats look like that stray one. They are abandoned and they probably pick through the yellow bags for food or eat whatever is available. As you know Korean food is spicy and has garlic, I wonder if the cats eat that?
I don't know why that cat has a RFID tag. I imagine the owner did it for protection. It is pierced through her ear. You can see the scare and skin that has bubbled and later healed around it. It looks like the Challenger Shuttle and is yellow. Maybe that is to prevent it from being picked up by the authorities?
Sunday, April 6, 2008
My students
My Korean students are smart, warm, funny and a joy. My job is difficult but there's always something good going on in class. Although I might need to send them on various timeouts vis a vis my self-invented "X-Box," they're pretty much well behaved. Of course there are few evil kids, the kind where you want them to be sick every day, but for the most part, I am pretty happy with my little munchkins.
X-Box is a small box I draw in the corner of the white board. If a student gets three "x", then he/she will have to stand facing the whiteboard or wall or not play a game that day. I make them stand for five minutes. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they act defiant. But they really hate being singled out from the group unless it's a couple of the evil kids who someone how revel in this experience. I'm sure one of them will become a serial killer. During lunch which I help administer every day at 12:20pm, one of the evil students named "Jake," likes to talk to his chop sticks. His eyes almost cross from the intensity of the conversation between him and his plastic practice chop sticks:
"We will take over this class, and kill the teachers. We will then tear down all the paintings we did and set fire to them in the middle of the carpet. Yes, we will do this..."
In that same class, we have Hank. Hank is the kind of kid who will act passive aggressively. He will start crying and tell the teacher how Mary has violated his lunch tray or hit him while he is actually punching the kid back who supposedly hurt him! Or he will hit the kid and then tell the teacher how bad that kid has been to him. He will also yell "no" when you try to help him with his jacket. AAAhh! I let the other teacher handle Hank.
Besides the evil kids, there is one six year old student named May who say in perfect, cute English to me: "Mr. Palmer? Time for X-box?" I always reply to her, "maybe."
Another favorite I have is a student named Anna. She's always beating up Scott in a playful way. In the middle of Scott's beating right before class, she will walk up to me and tell me in really good English about her day or who is absent, etc. During class time, she will ask questions or answer all the questions on the activity sheets, etc. She is really smart.
I like Judy who insists on calling me "Hello, baby monster." She loves that and never tires of making fun of my Korean words which I say sometimes. Especially "chun chun-e" whenever they hurriedly go from class to the awaiting diesel smoking buses.
I have a student named after a Korean bicycle who draws pictures on the white board of Scott and his imaginery chicken-looking girl friend. Scott sits there fuming until the drawing is complete and runs after him yelling only to get his butt kicked by a Korean boy with a Korean bicycle name. This is all play fighting which the school discourages of course but they're kids and that's what they do. Of course I don't allow standing on chairs or anything to get out of hand. Unless it was the time that Dio (see another post about report cards) got kicked by a couple of girl students during a game called "robot dance." I didn't see it but his mom called later to complain. Dio is a cry baby for sure but I feel bad that the girl students were treating him badly. He's the kind of kid who needs help walking down stairs. Really.
Jack is one of the sweetest kids in my 7 year old class. He is the tallest and has a couple of years of tae kwon do. So, him and Drew and Mark (who must weigh 100 pounds) will have play fights on the carpet with Jack usually winning. I have them play "King of the Hill" and when the girls get involved, the game usually dissolves very quickly. He doesn't like to play with girls.
Then there's Roy who is about five. He is very advanced and has a great sense of humor. I can talk to him in different English tenses like future present. How about that!
X-Box is a small box I draw in the corner of the white board. If a student gets three "x", then he/she will have to stand facing the whiteboard or wall or not play a game that day. I make them stand for five minutes. Sometimes they cry. Sometimes they act defiant. But they really hate being singled out from the group unless it's a couple of the evil kids who someone how revel in this experience. I'm sure one of them will become a serial killer. During lunch which I help administer every day at 12:20pm, one of the evil students named "Jake," likes to talk to his chop sticks. His eyes almost cross from the intensity of the conversation between him and his plastic practice chop sticks:
"We will take over this class, and kill the teachers. We will then tear down all the paintings we did and set fire to them in the middle of the carpet. Yes, we will do this..."
In that same class, we have Hank. Hank is the kind of kid who will act passive aggressively. He will start crying and tell the teacher how Mary has violated his lunch tray or hit him while he is actually punching the kid back who supposedly hurt him! Or he will hit the kid and then tell the teacher how bad that kid has been to him. He will also yell "no" when you try to help him with his jacket. AAAhh! I let the other teacher handle Hank.
Besides the evil kids, there is one six year old student named May who say in perfect, cute English to me: "Mr. Palmer? Time for X-box?" I always reply to her, "maybe."
Another favorite I have is a student named Anna. She's always beating up Scott in a playful way. In the middle of Scott's beating right before class, she will walk up to me and tell me in really good English about her day or who is absent, etc. During class time, she will ask questions or answer all the questions on the activity sheets, etc. She is really smart.
I like Judy who insists on calling me "Hello, baby monster." She loves that and never tires of making fun of my Korean words which I say sometimes. Especially "chun chun-e" whenever they hurriedly go from class to the awaiting diesel smoking buses.
I have a student named after a Korean bicycle who draws pictures on the white board of Scott and his imaginery chicken-looking girl friend. Scott sits there fuming until the drawing is complete and runs after him yelling only to get his butt kicked by a Korean boy with a Korean bicycle name. This is all play fighting which the school discourages of course but they're kids and that's what they do. Of course I don't allow standing on chairs or anything to get out of hand. Unless it was the time that Dio (see another post about report cards) got kicked by a couple of girl students during a game called "robot dance." I didn't see it but his mom called later to complain. Dio is a cry baby for sure but I feel bad that the girl students were treating him badly. He's the kind of kid who needs help walking down stairs. Really.
Jack is one of the sweetest kids in my 7 year old class. He is the tallest and has a couple of years of tae kwon do. So, him and Drew and Mark (who must weigh 100 pounds) will have play fights on the carpet with Jack usually winning. I have them play "King of the Hill" and when the girls get involved, the game usually dissolves very quickly. He doesn't like to play with girls.
Then there's Roy who is about five. He is very advanced and has a great sense of humor. I can talk to him in different English tenses like future present. How about that!
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Evil takes a holiday
Some of you know or have heard of my best friend O. He just made Associate Professor! Congratulations go out to him. He's on tenure track now towards full professor. I am very excited for his achievement and after his five plus years struggle to make tenure, the question still remains: why does evil prevail? And when it does fail or fall short, it takes a holiday?
Take Saddam Hussein. Evil dictator of Iraq. Lived a healthy and long life cut short by a hanging but nonetheless, survived a few wars, coup etats, ethnic and tribal uprisings, etc. Evil lives a long time even in different countries. When American leaves, what evil will rise up in it's place?
Then, take John Ritter, the actor from Three's Company. Funny comedian. Dies at age 50. Why? He made people laugh. Suffered some freakish stroke/heart attack. Yes, blog reader, life is not fair especially if you're a good person. Evil lives, Goodness dies. It's not Star Wars. Darth Vadar does not go over to the good force. So when my friend's tenure was blocked by one evil professor, I wonder why evil prevails for so long? Is it that people are afraid? What is it about evil that persuades and cajoles people into conformity? Can we really "blame" mass media? Are we like proverbial sheep? Why did this evil professor have so much sway in blocking O each time for tenure like Charles Manson's parole board? O hasn't changed. He just published more stuff in those five years, in fact, more than any of them! The frustration!
I congratulate O on his victory (please join in with the "V" sign). Goodness rules...for now.
Take Saddam Hussein. Evil dictator of Iraq. Lived a healthy and long life cut short by a hanging but nonetheless, survived a few wars, coup etats, ethnic and tribal uprisings, etc. Evil lives a long time even in different countries. When American leaves, what evil will rise up in it's place?
Then, take John Ritter, the actor from Three's Company. Funny comedian. Dies at age 50. Why? He made people laugh. Suffered some freakish stroke/heart attack. Yes, blog reader, life is not fair especially if you're a good person. Evil lives, Goodness dies. It's not Star Wars. Darth Vadar does not go over to the good force. So when my friend's tenure was blocked by one evil professor, I wonder why evil prevails for so long? Is it that people are afraid? What is it about evil that persuades and cajoles people into conformity? Can we really "blame" mass media? Are we like proverbial sheep? Why did this evil professor have so much sway in blocking O each time for tenure like Charles Manson's parole board? O hasn't changed. He just published more stuff in those five years, in fact, more than any of them! The frustration!
I congratulate O on his victory (please join in with the "V" sign)
Seedy Bars and Sandy Bike Paths of Suwon
Can't you say that the greatness of a country can be summarized by its highs and lows? In other words, how high it aspires and how low it plummets? In my travels in Suwon, I manage to find both. The Lows are sometimes more interesting and definitely easier to spot especially the Korean Host Cafes. The Highs are inspiring.
My travels are anthropological and sociological and finding interesting places is, well, interesting to me. The other night I found a few host bars in the Home Plus area in Yeongtong-dong. Home Plus is the Korean version of Wal-Mart/Target only the Home Pluses always have cool food courts and a friendlier staff.
My friend Inuk told me that all Koreans know where these "cafes" are. They are legitimate businesses. They serve alcohol, expensive food and are staffed by pretty hosts. In the States, you need to know someone who knows where they are. Not here. It's an open society and this gives you the feeling of safety; kinda of odd if you think about it. In the States, the seedy bars are located in bad neighborhoods. Here, they are located on quiet, non-descript streets of commercial and residential real estate. Anyway, I go in to the "Ace Cafe" or whatever it was called and I immediately get the stink eye from the host. So, I leave. I'm not wanted there and I'm not particularly interested in hanging out. I'm just interested in seeing the seedy life of what Suwon has to offer.
The other day, on my day off, when most of yas were sitting at your desks wishing you were me (yeah, right), I was riding my bicycle. I found an amazing 10-mile long stretch of bike path along side a man-made park that follows the (I'll put it's name in later) river. This path winds north and south through Suwon. Along the way are nicely manicured gardens, large rocks to sit on, about a dozen basketball half-courts with the rope still intact (find that in L.A., dawg), bridges and people walking, riding and talking along the river. It was so peaceful. I sat along the river and listened to the water rush down over the rocks spilling out. It was like I was back in my therapist office waiting for my appointment, listening to the fake waterfall machine that produces the faux water sound! It was great! Suwon city spent a lot of money carving out the bike paths and such making this a very livable city. Ah, the Highs are so good! I will go back again soon!
My travels are anthropological and sociological and finding interesting places is, well, interesting to me. The other night I found a few host bars in the Home Plus area in Yeongtong-dong. Home Plus is the Korean version of Wal-Mart/Target only the Home Pluses always have cool food courts and a friendlier staff.
My friend Inuk told me that all Koreans know where these "cafes" are. They are legitimate businesses. They serve alcohol, expensive food and are staffed by pretty hosts. In the States, you need to know someone who knows where they are. Not here. It's an open society and this gives you the feeling of safety; kinda of odd if you think about it. In the States, the seedy bars are located in bad neighborhoods. Here, they are located on quiet, non-descript streets of commercial and residential real estate. Anyway, I go in to the "Ace Cafe" or whatever it was called and I immediately get the stink eye from the host. So, I leave. I'm not wanted there and I'm not particularly interested in hanging out. I'm just interested in seeing the seedy life of what Suwon has to offer.
The other day, on my day off, when most of yas were sitting at your desks wishing you were me (yeah, right), I was riding my bicycle. I found an amazing 10-mile long stretch of bike path along side a man-made park that follows the (I'll put it's name in later) river. This path winds north and south through Suwon. Along the way are nicely manicured gardens, large rocks to sit on, about a dozen basketball half-courts with the rope still intact (find that in L.A., dawg), bridges and people walking, riding and talking along the river. It was so peaceful. I sat along the river and listened to the water rush down over the rocks spilling out. It was like I was back in my therapist office waiting for my appointment, listening to the fake waterfall machine that produces the faux water sound! It was great! Suwon city spent a lot of money carving out the bike paths and such making this a very livable city. Ah, the Highs are so good! I will go back again soon!
Friday, April 4, 2008
The Giant Cranes of Korea
Here in Suwon and probably most of Korea, there lies a crane on every corner. Not the kind for building those rectangular apartas (apartments) you see every where, but the toy kind. In the states we have these cranes at amusement parks or at Dolore's Diner in West LA (when ordering their curly fries, make sure they are cooked well), both containing stuff animals. Here in Korea however, these yellow colored monsters are money making machines!
The cranes are about .20 cents per play (200 won). They must weigh 900 pounds otherwise people would try to walk away with the machine to get to the contents. Inside the crane, there are 20 or 30 items including mp3 players, cigarette lighters, alcohol (see picture of little Whiskey Crane bottles) and my favorite, and not scene yet, live lobsters inside its own small tank! The goal is to use the mechanical fingers of the crane and lift the heavy weighted package into the basket in order to earn the prize. It’s difficult and when you’re drunk, as most crane players are, then winning is pure luck. These machines are strategically located near a bar on every block. In fact, there are at least four or five bars on every block! When playing the Happy Crane or the Polar Crane, etc the mechanical fingers always loose its grip just before you’re ready to drop the prize into the basket. Shaking the giant machine won’t work either. It’s too heavy and low to the ground and you’re too drunk anyway. You can easily drop about $5 on these Vegas style slot machines.
I haven’t found one with a live lobster yet. I’m still looking!
The cranes are about .20 cents per play (200 won). They must weigh 900 pounds otherwise people would try to walk away with the machine to get to the contents. Inside the crane, there are 20 or 30 items including mp3 players, cigarette lighters, alcohol (see picture of little Whiskey Crane bottles) and my favorite, and not scene yet, live lobsters inside its own small tank! The goal is to use the mechanical fingers of the crane and lift the heavy weighted package into the basket in order to earn the prize. It’s difficult and when you’re drunk, as most crane players are, then winning is pure luck. These machines are strategically located near a bar on every block. In fact, there are at least four or five bars on every block! When playing the Happy Crane or the Polar Crane, etc the mechanical fingers always loose its grip just before you’re ready to drop the prize into the basket. Shaking the giant machine won’t work either. It’s too heavy and low to the ground and you’re too drunk anyway. You can easily drop about $5 on these Vegas style slot machines.
I haven’t found one with a live lobster yet. I’m still looking!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Report Cards
Working at a language institute, many teachers are required to write quarterly report cards on the progress of each student. They are very detailed and include the students' strengths and weaknesses in obtaining that often elusive and shaky requisite English language skill Korean parents think their children need to compete in the global economy. I've been busy at work and started early on my report cards. Here's a sample:
Student name: Ronnie James Dio (English name)
Ronnie James Dio is a very warm and affectionate kid however as sweet and nice Dio is, he is lazy and dumb as they come! Not a good combination for a future professional you wish him to be! Ronnie does love to sing though and has a lovely voice most suitable for rock. I suggest you save your 800 dollars a month that you spend at the language institute and start a a 457CA college fund for Dio because he will need a lot of schooling. If he can't muster a passing grade of a "C" at a language institute, I can't imagine what he is getting in regular school. If you're serious about his and your future, you should immediately get a home tutor and get crackin! Remember: your social security is your first born named Dio!
Student name: Emily Lickyourson (English name)
Emily has potential but not in speaking English. Her daily aggressive and violent acts towards other amicable students, Roy, Larry and Sally suggest that Emily has not developed any social skills whatsoever. She does pack a powerful left punch as Roy has felt on many occasions! I suggest you save your 800 dollars a month and start to go to family therapy. Your child is acting out because you, as her parent/s, have modeled and instilled in her, some horrible social skills which resolve themselves in her daily visit to the Director's office for behavioral modification pep talk. Or if you are so inclined, please invest in a child's gym which offers martial arts. Maybe if she gets the shit kicked of her she'll kick your parenting stupid asses!
Yes, blog reader. Reports cards are a solemn affair. They require diplomatic verbiage and not very many parents really want the truth. :) If Korean parents are serious about language skills, perhaps learning Chinese would be a better option? They are the new super power!
Student name: Ronnie James Dio (English name)
Ronnie James Dio is a very warm and affectionate kid however as sweet and nice Dio is, he is lazy and dumb as they come! Not a good combination for a future professional you wish him to be! Ronnie does love to sing though and has a lovely voice most suitable for rock. I suggest you save your 800 dollars a month that you spend at the language institute and start a a 457CA college fund for Dio because he will need a lot of schooling. If he can't muster a passing grade of a "C" at a language institute, I can't imagine what he is getting in regular school. If you're serious about his and your future, you should immediately get a home tutor and get crackin! Remember: your social security is your first born named Dio!
Student name: Emily Lickyourson (English name)
Emily has potential but not in speaking English. Her daily aggressive and violent acts towards other amicable students, Roy, Larry and Sally suggest that Emily has not developed any social skills whatsoever. She does pack a powerful left punch as Roy has felt on many occasions! I suggest you save your 800 dollars a month and start to go to family therapy. Your child is acting out because you, as her parent/s, have modeled and instilled in her, some horrible social skills which resolve themselves in her daily visit to the Director's office for behavioral modification pep talk. Or if you are so inclined, please invest in a child's gym which offers martial arts. Maybe if she gets the shit kicked of her she'll kick your parenting stupid asses!
Yes, blog reader. Reports cards are a solemn affair. They require diplomatic verbiage and not very many parents really want the truth. :) If Korean parents are serious about language skills, perhaps learning Chinese would be a better option? They are the new super power!
Friday, March 28, 2008
The 2001 Monolithic space heaters
Korea is a country that can barely keep up with itself. This compliment is one way to describe the fast change this country has undergone in the last 60 years. Remember, parts of this beautiful land was blown up in the Korean War, held back by the Japanese suppression and withstood hundreds of years of “divine” ruling by war lords and kings. This under developed country became a “fighting tiger” and it shows even today.
A fun example is the (2001 A Space Odyssey theme plays) monolithic space heaters. See above picture. These few hundred pound beasts belch out heat of up to 300 degrees in a 180 degree angle using fuel stored in its belly. They are a major facet of keeping this homie warm throughout the day in the cold and dark basement of work for the next 12 months. They are located in every restaurant unless they have the traditional floor heating; pipes that pump hot water in the floor.
In the film I referenced above, the black monolith appears at significant points in human development. When we learned to make fire, the monolith was there. When we learned to fight and be aggressive, the monolith was there. When a new planet was born, yes, bright and cogent blog reader, I hope you’re catching on: the monolith was there. In Korea, you are never far from the monolith too. Their warm bodies welcoming you in from the cold. They belch in your face--like my 5 year old lunch class kids--warm air that feels good. As you can tell, heating was not on the list of Korean items to add when building up the last 60 years. Floor heating is installed in all residential units but central air and heating was not in commercial buildings. That’s where the monoliths come in.
They were added after buildings were assembled, electrical laid and cold water plumbing founded. The monoliths were there. I guess they wanted to maintain some sort of monolith monarchy. Heating by divine rule, perhaps? Teaching us that heat is the only element of the universe and we as mere humans, nothing by flotsam on its shores? Was the monolith saying to us: we are not allowing central air and heat, so you must install us everywhere? Maybe. Is the monolith a controlling force or agent in our lives?
I will tell you that the monolith was there last night when I ate mon-du for dinner. It stood guard in one of the walls, the size of a door frame, its green digital light on, compressors running quietly. They are our big brothers. Watching over us, keeping us warm in the winter and cool in the summer. They are the yin and yang, the hot and cold of Korea. Look for them in a store near you!
A fun example is the (2001 A Space Odyssey theme plays) monolithic space heaters. See above picture. These few hundred pound beasts belch out heat of up to 300 degrees in a 180 degree angle using fuel stored in its belly. They are a major facet of keeping this homie warm throughout the day in the cold and dark basement of work for the next 12 months. They are located in every restaurant unless they have the traditional floor heating; pipes that pump hot water in the floor.
In the film I referenced above, the black monolith appears at significant points in human development. When we learned to make fire, the monolith was there. When we learned to fight and be aggressive, the monolith was there. When a new planet was born, yes, bright and cogent blog reader, I hope you’re catching on: the monolith was there. In Korea, you are never far from the monolith too. Their warm bodies welcoming you in from the cold. They belch in your face--like my 5 year old lunch class kids--warm air that feels good. As you can tell, heating was not on the list of Korean items to add when building up the last 60 years. Floor heating is installed in all residential units but central air and heating was not in commercial buildings. That’s where the monoliths come in.
They were added after buildings were assembled, electrical laid and cold water plumbing founded. The monoliths were there. I guess they wanted to maintain some sort of monolith monarchy. Heating by divine rule, perhaps? Teaching us that heat is the only element of the universe and we as mere humans, nothing by flotsam on its shores? Was the monolith saying to us: we are not allowing central air and heat, so you must install us everywhere? Maybe. Is the monolith a controlling force or agent in our lives?
I will tell you that the monolith was there last night when I ate mon-du for dinner. It stood guard in one of the walls, the size of a door frame, its green digital light on, compressors running quietly. They are our big brothers. Watching over us, keeping us warm in the winter and cool in the summer. They are the yin and yang, the hot and cold of Korea. Look for them in a store near you!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Lost in Translation of "lonely bed spread"
Lonely Bed Spread
There’s a very nice and attractive woman at work who interacts with me on a daily basis. I even go as far as saying that she flirts and initiates the flirting all under the pretense of English language acquisition. It’s nice. I want to like to take it further but language is an issue. We use her Korean to English electronic dictionary and two websites. So when she writes in Hangul and has AltaVista’s Babel Fish tool translates it to “lonely bed spread,” what does that really mean?
Lonely bed sheet… sounds like it’s from a “romantic” novel you can buy at the check out stand at Ralph's or some other mega supermarket chain we have allowed to flourish in the name of good business. Doesn’t it make sense to offer hardware tools at an American supermarket? I think so. Anyways, with soft music in the background and someone reading out loud from the book… the “ “lonely bed spread” awaited their embrace. He kissed her softly on her parted lips…” or it could be her describing her life. “My life is spent with helping my son get good grades and my lonely bed spread”... or it could be, as I learned yesterday, that her husband works and travels a lot. “My life is like a lonely bed spread. He works so often, I barely see him…”
Lost in translation. I ask her using very simple sentences in Babel Fish if she’s lonely. She says she’s very happily married with a loving family. Then where’s the “lonely bed spread” fit in? Is it one of those full size bed sheets that nicely fit two? Or a queen or king size bed sheet that can fit a family of four? When it comes to dating in Korea, keep it simple.
There’s a very nice and attractive woman at work who interacts with me on a daily basis. I even go as far as saying that she flirts and initiates the flirting all under the pretense of English language acquisition. It’s nice. I want to like to take it further but language is an issue. We use her Korean to English electronic dictionary and two websites. So when she writes in Hangul and has AltaVista’s Babel Fish tool translates it to “lonely bed spread,” what does that really mean?
Lonely bed sheet… sounds like it’s from a “romantic” novel you can buy at the check out stand at Ralph's or some other mega supermarket chain we have allowed to flourish in the name of good business. Doesn’t it make sense to offer hardware tools at an American supermarket? I think so. Anyways, with soft music in the background and someone reading out loud from the book… the “ “lonely bed spread” awaited their embrace. He kissed her softly on her parted lips…” or it could be her describing her life. “My life is spent with helping my son get good grades and my lonely bed spread”... or it could be, as I learned yesterday, that her husband works and travels a lot. “My life is like a lonely bed spread. He works so often, I barely see him…”
Lost in translation. I ask her using very simple sentences in Babel Fish if she’s lonely. She says she’s very happily married with a loving family. Then where’s the “lonely bed spread” fit in? Is it one of those full size bed sheets that nicely fit two? Or a queen or king size bed sheet that can fit a family of four? When it comes to dating in Korea, keep it simple.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Garbage in Korea
My fellow blog readers. What is garbage? It is waste. Yes, that’s it. Here in the land of the sound of sucking duk (see previous post if you're confused), we have different waste. One style of waste is food. It goes in the yellow bag (see picture). If I vomited into that yellow bag, would that be considered food waste too? Hum. The next bag is everything else which goes in the larger white bag. The latter makes it difficult to squeeze those hefty 2 liter water bottles in and any miscellaneous card board you have. You can really go through a lot of those white bags quickly with the amount of waste I generate. And Palmer is a waste machine! Just recently I went through a whole box of two-ply tissues from my snot factory of a nose. Jesus! What snot production! Buy some Kleenex stock, please!
Back to garbage: you must buy both the yellow and white bags at the local convenience store. Not all convenient stores carry these special bags. Why call them convenience stores, eh reader? Get to the point, Palmer! I am busy and you’re rambling on like your old ‘69 Dodge on Highway 1 going to the “Cruz” for some hippie supplies, if you know what I mean.
If you get caught not using these special and expensive bags, you can be fined a considerable amount! I’ve heard that the fine could be $1,000USD. Yep! Well, I watched the refuse custodian load his truck last week and made this quick observation about those two style garbage bags here in Korea:
If the garbage man throws all the white and yellow bags in the truck together, you know, the kind we have in the US, it mashes up everything by compacting vis a vis hydraulics, and then how do they separate the bags later on? How does this work? Is there a group of people at the dump who go through the garbage separating the big white bags from the small yellow bags? How can they do that when that monster size truck has compacted them into a mash of white and yellow bags? Why bother having these expensive bags if they all get mixed and burned together anyway? I hope for the next blog installment, I can find out the truth. The truth is out there (X Files reference). Reporting from the dumps of Korea, this is Palmer in Korea. Remember to separate your waste, it's good for you and the environment.
Follow up on garbage: April 4, 2008
The yellow "food" bags are buried like compost and the white "everything else" bags are burned, set on fire. How do they separate them at the dump? I guess I have too much time on my hands wondering about garbage! :)
Back to garbage: you must buy both the yellow and white bags at the local convenience store. Not all convenient stores carry these special bags. Why call them convenience stores, eh reader? Get to the point, Palmer! I am busy and you’re rambling on like your old ‘69 Dodge on Highway 1 going to the “Cruz” for some hippie supplies, if you know what I mean.
If you get caught not using these special and expensive bags, you can be fined a considerable amount! I’ve heard that the fine could be $1,000USD. Yep! Well, I watched the refuse custodian load his truck last week and made this quick observation about those two style garbage bags here in Korea:
If the garbage man throws all the white and yellow bags in the truck together, you know, the kind we have in the US, it mashes up everything by compacting vis a vis hydraulics, and then how do they separate the bags later on? How does this work? Is there a group of people at the dump who go through the garbage separating the big white bags from the small yellow bags? How can they do that when that monster size truck has compacted them into a mash of white and yellow bags? Why bother having these expensive bags if they all get mixed and burned together anyway? I hope for the next blog installment, I can find out the truth. The truth is out there (X Files reference). Reporting from the dumps of Korea, this is Palmer in Korea. Remember to separate your waste, it's good for you and the environment.
Follow up on garbage: April 4, 2008
The yellow "food" bags are buried like compost and the white "everything else" bags are burned, set on fire. How do they separate them at the dump? I guess I have too much time on my hands wondering about garbage! :)
Sunday, March 23, 2008
The sound of Duk in my ear
Duk (pronounced “Dook”) is a traditional Korean rice snack that is chewy and comes in white, green and other varieties. The fancier duk comes mixed with nuts and other healthy things. It is a mild but very palatable snack. I received some nicely wrapped duk from a student on White Day. It was good. Like popcorn, duk has its own unique sound when you eat it.
I was at my language institute graduation in early March when I first heard the sound of Duk. A parent standing behind me was busy eating it as the students were receiving their diplomas. If you ever heard the sound of Duk being chewed, you would know how tortuous it can be. The sticky rice, shaped in a square or rectangle takes a while to eat. It also requires the person to “suck” the duk from one’s teeth. This sucking sound is unmistakable duk. All duk eaters are required by Korean law to make this sucking sound while eating duk. It’s like slurping your rice noodles to make them cooler. All Udon eaters must do this too. It is an unmistakable Korean attribute.
For the next twenty minutes this lady was busy eating and sucking duk. The sound was unbelievable and annoying. She was behind me, standing, because all the seats were taken. She did not care that her duk sound was making me insane. It was like she was in my brain, slowing sucking the noodle membranes right from my ear. I couldn’t move. I focused more on the cute kids getting their diplomas but I couldn’t do it. She continued with the great sucking sound of Duk. It’s not a disgusting sound but it is severe in its consequences like water-boarding torture.
Here is what really happened at the graduation...
“We will make you tell us the location of the missiles, Mr. Farmer,” (“Palmer” pronounced by Korean’s as Farmer), “or suffer our consequences.” As I am sitting there, strapped down in the chair, they bring in a tall, good-looking Korean lady. She is holding a large tray of white and green verities of Duk which, by the way, taste the same to me. “Will you, tell us?” asks the interpreter? “No,” I exclaim trying to wrestle free from the chair. “Then so be it, Mr. Farmer.” The torture went on for twenty minutes. The lady slowly chewed her duk and made the great sucking sound. I got dizzy. I was unconscious at one point. My stomach hurt. I was weak with hunger and I could not resist her sadistic ways.
I confessed to the location of the secret missile silo. The spies released me in some back alley in Seoul. Not even the mangy looking dogs in this country would sniff me. I wind up in a mental ward for the next twenty years. Yes, blog reader this is the sound of duk. All will succumb to it without fail.
I was at my language institute graduation in early March when I first heard the sound of Duk. A parent standing behind me was busy eating it as the students were receiving their diplomas. If you ever heard the sound of Duk being chewed, you would know how tortuous it can be. The sticky rice, shaped in a square or rectangle takes a while to eat. It also requires the person to “suck” the duk from one’s teeth. This sucking sound is unmistakable duk. All duk eaters are required by Korean law to make this sucking sound while eating duk. It’s like slurping your rice noodles to make them cooler. All Udon eaters must do this too. It is an unmistakable Korean attribute.
For the next twenty minutes this lady was busy eating and sucking duk. The sound was unbelievable and annoying. She was behind me, standing, because all the seats were taken. She did not care that her duk sound was making me insane. It was like she was in my brain, slowing sucking the noodle membranes right from my ear. I couldn’t move. I focused more on the cute kids getting their diplomas but I couldn’t do it. She continued with the great sucking sound of Duk. It’s not a disgusting sound but it is severe in its consequences like water-boarding torture.
Here is what really happened at the graduation...
“We will make you tell us the location of the missiles, Mr. Farmer,” (“Palmer” pronounced by Korean’s as Farmer), “or suffer our consequences.” As I am sitting there, strapped down in the chair, they bring in a tall, good-looking Korean lady. She is holding a large tray of white and green verities of Duk which, by the way, taste the same to me. “Will you, tell us?” asks the interpreter? “No,” I exclaim trying to wrestle free from the chair. “Then so be it, Mr. Farmer.” The torture went on for twenty minutes. The lady slowly chewed her duk and made the great sucking sound. I got dizzy. I was unconscious at one point. My stomach hurt. I was weak with hunger and I could not resist her sadistic ways.
I confessed to the location of the secret missile silo. The spies released me in some back alley in Seoul. Not even the mangy looking dogs in this country would sniff me. I wind up in a mental ward for the next twenty years. Yes, blog reader this is the sound of duk. All will succumb to it without fail.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Costco "invades" South Korea
Hello blog readers! It's me again from Korea reporting that Costco has invaded Korea and is a permanent fixture in the culture and landscape. Tonight, a group of us teachers ("Sung-sang-nims" to those who are not in the know) descended onto the hallow realms of Costco in outer Seoul to stock up on American snacks and items.
There were six of us in the language institute van driven by Dr. Jay. No, not the veteran 76er basketball player, but a short Korean guy with a hearty sense of humor and an amazing driving prowess – the ability to talk on his cell phone while navigating the narrow and busy streets of Korea! He was kind enough to take us on his Saturday night to Costco to pay homage and money to the imported American devil!
Why pay $2.50 for snickers in a pound bag in the U.S.? Buy in Korea for 8,000(Won) instead. Frozen Kirkland beef patties, five pounds of ground beef all available for the low Costco import price. Well, not low but available and nicely packaged in that Kirkland / Costco kinda-way. As you know beef is expensive in Korea. It's not beef with noodles. It's noodles with beef. For example, 100 grams of fresh beef, the blood dripping kind that the local butcher sold me two weeks ago was almost $6.00USD. That's like 3oz of beef. It's snack size by American standards. Expensive my friends especially for the American use to heavy protein meals at affordable prices. Wahoo's tacos of Santa Monica, anyone? Anyways, who gives a shit. Let's move on with this before I go home and make note of my rice poop.
Costco was freaken busy! It's Saturday night, my peeps, at 8pm and the parking lot is jammed to get in and jammed to get out! WTF! It's Saturday night. Time to take the girl friend out for some event other than Costco. I couldn't believe it! There were a dozen of parking lot attendants directing traffic--almost all wear those cool Korean masks to filter out the pollution--Angelenos take note, homies. We parked and finally got in to Costco and descend the metal grate escalators that "lock" your Costco cart wheels into place and wham! There must be 3,000 people in the store buying everything from snickers bars to rice to my favorite, peanut butter. Ah, yes! Mac Bernstein owner of Mac Bernstein's peanut butter emporium, if he was still alive and kicking, would say: "What's the score?" And I would report back: Mac, there's organic peanut butter at Costco in Korea! He would be amused. I scored some good peanut butter tonight my yawning blog reader. My life is complete. My soul food in Seoul. Right?
As you may know, Costco has like one sample lady per aisle in that warehouse of free Costco samples. I didn't eat any because by the time I got to a free sampling of chocolate or food, the lady was busy opening another sample. We were hungry blog readers. After a bill of 550Won for six people's worth of Costco goodies, half of that peanut butter, we walk over to feast on the fast food restaurant and share a table with some local peeps. The woman behind me kept bumping into me because the bench style seating is so close. And it's warm in there and I am nervous about taking off my heavy and warm Gap Navy P-Coat. I'm stinky from teaching six sweaty hours that day dancing with my kids in a warm class room. I smell like a coyote. No one notices though. The air is filled with the smell of pizza and bulgogi sandwiches. The lines are long but they take a few minutes. No one pushes or shoves and the line is orderly.
Some of the teachers had a hot dog and soda for 2,000Won and I had a 3,500Won Bulgogi sandwich which was heavy on the dough, taste and grease. A few of the teachers had Costco ice cream. A big cup of vanilla or chocolate in a paper cup. It looked good. We left Costco satiated. We hit rain and traffic back to Suwon. I listened to a very "hip" mix of Janet Jackson, Dave Mathews and lots of stupid-ass rap music for thirty minutes in the van on the way back.
I hate most rap. I hate it. There are so many great musicians out there and what does contemporary culture promote and propagate? Rap. Angry rap. Gangsta rap. Kill whitey rap. F##$%$ your $%itch rap. And I thought I "escaped" rap music when arriving in the land of the morning calm and the ominous sucking and chewing sound of duk (another post forthcoming). I am off on a tangent. Yes, kind reader, Costco has landed in Korea. It's been over ten years now and it's threatening to make this society more convenient and cost effective to the Korean people. But how do the mom and pop stores survive?
They do blog reader. Every corner there's a mom and pop store that sells fresh produce and dry goods in small, easy to carry home packages and containers. They don't have strip malls in Korea. They have produce and convenience stores every where. America take note!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Korea: Home of the "Marts"
Ah, Korea. Home of every imaginable convenience store with the word "mart" in it. There's Family Mart, a 7-11 style store one block from the hogwan/institute which sells soda, beer, snacks and my new favorite: a beef/bulgogi hamburger sandwich which takes 20 seconds to microwave. It's about 1.00USD and tastes good! It's available in a spicy version. I wash it down with my coffee milk drink, a semi-sweet milk drink w/ coffee in it! Need my caffeine fix, man! Then there's I-Mart. Another is called IGA Mart (see pictures). Oh, yes we have an E-Mart too. We do have the ubiquitous 7-11, an American corporation that is found near the Dunkin Donuts in Yeongtong-dong/Yeongtong-gu, where I work. I buy my long distance international phone cards there but they are available at the Marts. BTW, mart rhymes with smart. Should there be a S-Mart next? Hum...
An interesting observation I made, at least I think it is interesting, is that the Mart (pronounced "mart-a") employees are, well, happy. They say hello to you at the door, they help you with your selection and their disposition is good. I know that serving customers at any convenience store anywhere in the world can be a crappy job but the ones in Suwon are "content." When I compare them to the American 7/11 employees in Los Angeles stores, they are grumpy, unhappy and not warm or cordial towards me or others. The Korean language has a formal style that stresses politeness and respect in the words. But the Mart employees' body language also conveys a sense of warmness and politeness to me and others. The American 7/11 employees do not.
All these marts are located on every other corner in Suwon. Every other block seems to be a complete self-reliable city of car dealerships, bars, restaurants that serve fish and octopus, dry cleaners, language schools and a shoe shine stand. You're never to far to buy a new car, have a nice meal upstairs, play some pool and drink a few brews with your buddies and if it's before 7pm, get your teeth cleaned. Because your gums will be sore, you should go to the bar on the top floor to have a scotch and if you're feeling good, pick up on some honey before venturing one floor down to the "nori-ban" for a night of singing, drinking and possible hooking up (Yeah, baby!). Korea knows how to mix commercial real estate up. Perhaps America can take note when we plan for our next real estate "bubble" of low interest loans for all, shady brokers, greedy banks and a condoning SEC?
An interesting observation I made, at least I think it is interesting, is that the Mart (pronounced "mart-a") employees are, well, happy. They say hello to you at the door, they help you with your selection and their disposition is good. I know that serving customers at any convenience store anywhere in the world can be a crappy job but the ones in Suwon are "content." When I compare them to the American 7/11 employees in Los Angeles stores, they are grumpy, unhappy and not warm or cordial towards me or others. The Korean language has a formal style that stresses politeness and respect in the words. But the Mart employees' body language also conveys a sense of warmness and politeness to me and others. The American 7/11 employees do not.
All these marts are located on every other corner in Suwon. Every other block seems to be a complete self-reliable city of car dealerships, bars, restaurants that serve fish and octopus, dry cleaners, language schools and a shoe shine stand. You're never to far to buy a new car, have a nice meal upstairs, play some pool and drink a few brews with your buddies and if it's before 7pm, get your teeth cleaned. Because your gums will be sore, you should go to the bar on the top floor to have a scotch and if you're feeling good, pick up on some honey before venturing one floor down to the "nori-ban" for a night of singing, drinking and possible hooking up (Yeah, baby!). Korea knows how to mix commercial real estate up. Perhaps America can take note when we plan for our next real estate "bubble" of low interest loans for all, shady brokers, greedy banks and a condoning SEC?
Sunday, March 16, 2008
We need a bus union in Suwon, Korea
Hello fellow blog reader. Come take a bus ride w/ Palmer to Yongjusa Temple, just 40 minutes north of Suwon. It costs about 2.00USD round trip to see this 400 year old national treasure, round eyes. Along the way you'll love the sights, sounds and smells (I will wear this Spinal Tap reference to the ground, baby!) of Korea. Hold on to the noisy leather straps; not the kind you use at home, you pervs but the ones that hang low from inside the bus because it will be crowded and the turns sharp like my cheddar cheese I left in my vacated Culver City apartment three weeks ago! Yuck!
This Sunday afternoon I took the 3.00USD cab ride to Suwon Station to pick up old bus number 46 that runs to and from Yongjusa Temple. I remember this bus number because I was singing a Turn me On Dead Man song and switched the lyrics out to include bus 46. The band is from Frisco, man. Don't be upset you sensitive "City" people when I use an out-dated hippie word for San Francisco. Okay, dawg?
I got onto the bus and showed the bus driver a hand written note in Korean (Hangul) that the kind and helpful lady at the Suwon Station tourist office gave me. It asked the driver to please take me, the lost and confused looking American, to the humbled temple to pay homage (i.e. an entrance fee) and take pictures of this wonderful national treasure. He nodded. I paid. I held on.
It was hot on the bus on this spring afternoon and I managed to slip off my Navy blue Gap imitation Navy P-coat. Whatever happened to good Gap products? This coat is 10 years old and still looks great. We drove north for about 40 minutes when the landscape changed. The buildings and homes looked "poorer" and there were some nice out door vegetable and fruit stands. Strawberries are sold all over Suwon and they look delicious!
The city got smaller and the traffic lighter and the bus stops fewer. We had some cool sharp turns. I was happy. I felt good. I had a regular size Dunkin Donut Original drip brew flailing around in my belly; it was my day off and I was going to sight see and take some nice pictures, damn it! We drove by this out door looking old building but there was no sight of the temple. I got worried. It had been about 50 minutes. We did hit traffic so I figured to allot more time for my arrival and to look for the huge ass sign and maybe a picture to the temple with a poorly translated caption that would say: "American: you have arrived at Yongjusa Temple. Exit the rear door, and come walk our sacred ground to experience real Buddhism in a tranquil peace that your yuppie ass could not get at your expensive 120USD yoga class at that trendy new age center where people wear expensive clothing made of hemp and other hippie materials..." Hum...the bus drove on for another ten minutes when I realized: Fuck! I missed the temple! It was that humble looking building five miles back! You know, the one with some old looking stone fences and a small dirt area, a patch of it where no cars were parked. There was no big ass sign. No bald Buddhist monks walking around, smiling and eating those mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches we would get at the Buddhist Lsi Hsi temple in Hacienda Heights where I tutored kids at their after school program. Ahh!! And the stupid bus driver didn't even honk, nod, wink, mumble or burp to me, the lost and confused tourist, that this is where I was supposed to get my dumb ass off his bus and get some enlightenment! How frustrating fellow blog reader! Can you feel my spiritual pain?
I could not get off the bus because the time I spent thinking about getting a cab or taking another bus back, I was already half way back to Suwon station! The trip to the temple is about 40 minutes but the trip back is 20 minutes! We took the highway back. On the highway there were men hand painting the speed limit on the pavement. I saw one man with a large roller, painting in white the arrows on the road! In Korea where they have a machine for everything, they don't have one for painting the highway? Now I am totally confused!
We need a bus riders union here in Korea. It would help these disgruntled bus drivers who are under appreciated for their safe and boring work. If he was a happy camper, he would have said something to me. I can't blame him for his hatred of "round eyes" though. We sort of deserve international hatred for our propagation of "freedom" and involvement in helping the little guy overthrow the big guy and then abandon the new guy in order to help the little guy.
I think every bus driver hates people. People complain, they piss in their pants, their crying children won't shut the fuck up, they drop their groceries on the bus floor, they spill their Dunkin Donuts coffee too. And there are no garbage cans on these buses. They are not your home, homey. You are only on this bus for a short time unless it's the little yellow bus...
Perhaps bus drivers are naturally mean. It could be just their Buddha nature and if the passenger is foreign, then hate him more! If that prick with the Alan Watts British accent doesn't know when to exit then forgettabout him.
I should of been more active in asking and spotting the temple. Tomorrow I will try it again. Look for some pictures of smiling monks and their interesting vegetarian sandwiches. Watch for the hot and sweaty looking American with the Navy P-Coat in dark sunglasses. Until then, my friend, stay on the bus and smile at your bus driver.
This Sunday afternoon I took the 3.00USD cab ride to Suwon Station to pick up old bus number 46 that runs to and from Yongjusa Temple. I remember this bus number because I was singing a Turn me On Dead Man song and switched the lyrics out to include bus 46. The band is from Frisco, man
I got onto the bus and showed the bus driver a hand written note in Korean (Hangul) that the kind and helpful lady at the Suwon Station tourist office gave me. It asked the driver to please take me, the lost and confused looking American, to the humbled temple to pay homage (i.e. an entrance fee) and take pictures of this wonderful national treasure. He nodded. I paid. I held on.
It was hot on the bus on this spring afternoon and I managed to slip off my Navy blue Gap imitation Navy P-coat. Whatever happened to good Gap products? This coat is 10 years old and still looks great. We drove north for about 40 minutes when the landscape changed. The buildings and homes looked "poorer" and there were some nice out door vegetable and fruit stands. Strawberries are sold all over Suwon and they look delicious!
The city got smaller and the traffic lighter and the bus stops fewer. We had some cool sharp turns. I was happy. I felt good. I had a regular size Dunkin Donut Original drip brew flailing around in my belly; it was my day off and I was going to sight see and take some nice pictures, damn it! We drove by this out door looking old building but there was no sight of the temple. I got worried. It had been about 50 minutes. We did hit traffic so I figured to allot more time for my arrival and to look for the huge ass sign and maybe a picture to the temple with a poorly translated caption that would say: "American: you have arrived at Yongjusa Temple. Exit the rear door, and come walk our sacred ground to experience real Buddhism in a tranquil peace that your yuppie ass could not get at your expensive 120USD yoga class at that trendy new age center where people wear expensive clothing made of hemp and other hippie materials..." Hum...the bus drove on for another ten minutes when I realized: Fuck! I missed the temple! It was that humble looking building five miles back! You know, the one with some old looking stone fences and a small dirt area, a patch of it where no cars were parked. There was no big ass sign. No bald Buddhist monks walking around, smiling and eating those mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches we would get at the Buddhist Lsi Hsi temple in Hacienda Heights where I tutored kids at their after school program. Ahh!! And the stupid bus driver didn't even honk, nod, wink, mumble or burp to me, the lost and confused tourist, that this is where I was supposed to get my dumb ass off his bus and get some enlightenment! How frustrating fellow blog reader! Can you feel my spiritual pain?
I could not get off the bus because the time I spent thinking about getting a cab or taking another bus back, I was already half way back to Suwon station! The trip to the temple is about 40 minutes but the trip back is 20 minutes! We took the highway back. On the highway there were men hand painting the speed limit on the pavement. I saw one man with a large roller, painting in white the arrows on the road! In Korea where they have a machine for everything, they don't have one for painting the highway? Now I am totally confused!
We need a bus riders union here in Korea. It would help these disgruntled bus drivers who are under appreciated for their safe and boring work. If he was a happy camper, he would have said something to me. I can't blame him for his hatred of "round eyes" though. We sort of deserve international hatred for our propagation of "freedom" and involvement in helping the little guy overthrow the big guy and then abandon the new guy in order to help the little guy.
I think every bus driver hates people. People complain, they piss in their pants, their crying children won't shut the fuck up, they drop their groceries on the bus floor, they spill their Dunkin Donuts coffee too. And there are no garbage cans on these buses. They are not your home, homey. You are only on this bus for a short time unless it's the little yellow bus...
Perhaps bus drivers are naturally mean. It could be just their Buddha nature and if the passenger is foreign, then hate him more! If that prick with the Alan Watts British accent doesn't know when to exit then forgettabout him.
I should of been more active in asking and spotting the temple. Tomorrow I will try it again. Look for some pictures of smiling monks and their interesting vegetarian sandwiches. Watch for the hot and sweaty looking American with the Navy P-Coat in dark sunglasses. Until then, my friend, stay on the bus and smile at your bus driver.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
A critique of tourist maps in Suwon, Korea
Look, I am not an English language expert nor do I have a masters degree in grammar but the tourist maps here in Suwon, South Korea are terrible. With all the talented English natives who live and work here, some who have graduate degrees in English, would the government please ask them to help translate their tourist maps into readable and cogent English? I'm sure any of us would gladly offer our editing services for free in order to correct the mumbled, jumbled and inarticulated tourist maps the government subjects all English speakers to. To be fair maybe they hired new editors and after printing like 10 zillion of these cool maps, they realized the editorial awkwardness. I don't know. These maps are embarrassing and as a tourist who enjoys the sights, sounds and smells (Spinal Tap reference) of Korea, I must state my peace.
Almost all Koreans learn English as a second language from elementary school until high school. Those who can afford to, go to private schools, institutes or hogwans and learn more. Those who attend college will often take English classes from native speaking Canadian or American teachers. The new generation are capable of conversing well in English but those who translate the tourist maps for English speaking people, do not yet have the skills necessary. If the government who hires the company(ies) to create these maps have native English speakers edit the content instead, I would not have to be criticising about it here! You don't want Palmer criticizing. The wrath. The venom. The smugness. The condescension! I come from a long line of professional critics who sowed their oats on the mean streets of New York. Yo!
Here are a couple of examples from the actual Suwon City map of Gyeonggi-Do published by http://www.gg.go.kr/. It is a hard copy that the Suwon Station tourist office gives you, the confused and tired traveller. You will laugh, you will cry.
1. Jaein Falls:
"At the center of the cliff standing high like a wall-screen with strangely shaped rocks does one stream of water fall rush down, which cools off viewers’ minds..."
Kind blog reader who has with stood my crankiness in this blog, do you feel cooled off by this water fall description? I feel pissed off! :)
2. Paju Camp:
"The Paju camp of Gyeonggi English Village is preparing various programs, where family can join, such as Theme display experience, robot display experience, toy/cookie experience as a daily program, including regular courses, and public experience, performance, and exhibition, etc."
Bored blog reader who has been patient with my diatribes, please tell me what is a "theme" display? And a "toy / cookie experience?" Do you want to go to Paju Camp for a "regular course" in "public experience"?
You know how people say, "just write a letter" and voice your complaint? My Santa Monica College literature teacher once said that to me. And, my mother too. And I listened to them. Well, people, I have written a lot of letters in my life to various companies for various things and you know what? Either they don't get them, read them or care to reply. I have offered "solutions" to their product line, or emailed to complain about their crappy product. I was "nice" about it. Really, I was. On a few occasions, I had a phone call or email response. Not all companies can reply to all customers, just the ones who spend the most money or who are threatening to sue. That's why I am not going to write the Korean government to clean up this translated non-sense. Why not? I could be at risk getting deported for some obscure law I did not commit! I'm not paranoid. Besides, they may not understand my garble. They might call my language institute (hogwan) and complain about my crappy grammar. This would be embarrassing for my employers and in order to "save face" I could be fired and sent home to that mess called Los Angeles. Forgettabout it!!
Almost all Koreans learn English as a second language from elementary school until high school. Those who can afford to, go to private schools, institutes or hogwans and learn more. Those who attend college will often take English classes from native speaking Canadian or American teachers. The new generation are capable of conversing well in English but those who translate the tourist maps for English speaking people, do not yet have the skills necessary. If the government who hires the company(ies) to create these maps have native English speakers edit the content instead, I would not have to be criticising about it here! You don't want Palmer criticizing. The wrath. The venom. The smugness. The condescension! I come from a long line of professional critics who sowed their oats on the mean streets of New York. Yo!
Here are a couple of examples from the actual Suwon City map of Gyeonggi-Do published by http://www.gg.go.kr/. It is a hard copy that the Suwon Station tourist office gives you, the confused and tired traveller. You will laugh, you will cry.
1. Jaein Falls:
"At the center of the cliff standing high like a wall-screen with strangely shaped rocks does one stream of water fall rush down, which cools off viewers’ minds..."
Kind blog reader who has with stood my crankiness in this blog, do you feel cooled off by this water fall description? I feel pissed off! :)
2. Paju Camp:
"The Paju camp of Gyeonggi English Village is preparing various programs, where family can join, such as Theme display experience, robot display experience, toy/cookie experience as a daily program, including regular courses, and public experience, performance, and exhibition, etc."
Bored blog reader who has been patient with my diatribes, please tell me what is a "theme" display? And a "toy / cookie experience?" Do you want to go to Paju Camp for a "regular course" in "public experience"?
You know how people say, "just write a letter" and voice your complaint? My Santa Monica College literature teacher once said that to me. And, my mother too. And I listened to them. Well, people, I have written a lot of letters in my life to various companies for various things and you know what? Either they don't get them, read them or care to reply. I have offered "solutions" to their product line, or emailed to complain about their crappy product. I was "nice" about it. Really, I was. On a few occasions, I had a phone call or email response. Not all companies can reply to all customers, just the ones who spend the most money or who are threatening to sue. That's why I am not going to write the Korean government to clean up this translated non-sense. Why not? I could be at risk getting deported for some obscure law I did not commit! I'm not paranoid. Besides, they may not understand my garble. They might call my language institute (hogwan) and complain about my crappy grammar. This would be embarrassing for my employers and in order to "save face" I could be fired and sent home to that mess called Los Angeles. Forgettabout it!!
Two fires in the language institute--only in Korea
Last Saturday in the early afternoon some dumb ass tossed a half-lite cigarette down the window well which is right above the basement window of my office. The butt caused a small fire. The fire department showed up and blasted the small fire with gallons of water partially flooding the cubicle of my colleague's desk. She was out of town but the smell of burnt refuse waifed in the air and water littered the floor. I didn't know there was a fire until after my 4:30pm class left and I walked down three flights of stairs to the basement. It smelled like, well, a campfire. Water dripped down the wall. No one was injured and the damage minimal.
Late last night the Japanese restaurant on the fourth floor of our four story building had a small fire. I asked three people what started the fire, no one knows. The fire department rushed over again but this time they had to smash the huge glass door of the school in order to reach the fourth floor stairwell of the restaurant. They broke a small window on the fourth floor in order to put out the fire. There was glass shattered all over two floors, the floors where our kids run up and down in order to get to class or take the buses from the school home. It took five people over 30 minutes to sweep up the chunks of green glass. I help carry out the plastic garbage can filled with green, thick chunks of glass. It was at least 70 pounds requiring both of us to pause every two steps as we took the glass to the parking lot for disposal. It was fucked. What are the odds of two fires in two weeks? Only in Korea!
Late last night the Japanese restaurant on the fourth floor of our four story building had a small fire. I asked three people what started the fire, no one knows. The fire department rushed over again but this time they had to smash the huge glass door of the school in order to reach the fourth floor stairwell of the restaurant. They broke a small window on the fourth floor in order to put out the fire. There was glass shattered all over two floors, the floors where our kids run up and down in order to get to class or take the buses from the school home. It took five people over 30 minutes to sweep up the chunks of green glass. I help carry out the plastic garbage can filled with green, thick chunks of glass. It was at least 70 pounds requiring both of us to pause every two steps as we took the glass to the parking lot for disposal. It was fucked. What are the odds of two fires in two weeks? Only in Korea!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Suwon dust storm vis a vis China
In Suwon, South Korea every spring there comes the dust storm. (You must say this in a low, breathy Darth Vader like voice, if you must). Anyway, it smells like burning leaves. In some parts of the U.S., people will burn their leaves in their back yards. I don't know why they do this really. It just causes air pollution. This dust storm smells just like that. Just think: the Chinese were so nice to share their burning leaf smell with the Koreans. I think world peace is now a possibility. It's a pleasant smell but heavy and after an hour you want to escape but it stays in your lungs, clothes and apartment like I did when I lived with my brother and sister-in-law for a couple of months in 1992.
I bought a Korean style face mask for 3,000 (Won). Many people wear face masks when they are sick or when the pollutant level is higher than normal. I think that's a wonderful and generous, forward thinking gesture; why share your germs? My own mask has a nice yet light menthol smell just like a Marlboro menthol cigarette. I don't look cool in this mask but it will filter out the dust and pollutants hopefully. When I wear it though, I am Palmer, incognito, in my greenish blue mask. I walk around the city, feeling comfortable in its soft and pillowy appearance, my face hidden, just another man in a mask walking down the street, a common man, a man of the people. Where was I?
I didn't sleep well last night. My colleague who also lives in the same building but above me, does calisthenics or lifts weights at 4:30am. Actually, I believe she is an insomniac and is OCD because as I lay awake this morning, I was mentally diagramming the six foot by five foot space she has to maneuver between her bed and sofa wondering how she could possibly make so much noise for an hour. She could be one of those people, who some of us know, who must adjust and re-adjust furniture, books and any thing out of order. All that running about this morning was just adjusting, in microns, the edges of books and paper on her living room table.
I don't want to ask people to do be quiet or change their behavior. They have a right to live their life in their own unique and special way. (yeah, right) But it interfered with my sleep and I need a good seven hours! Forgettabout! I asked her nicely to take it easy up there and not drop those weights. I'll keep you updated or not...
This post was boring. Maybe I'll delete it. There's no profanity. What's wrong with me? Have I gone soft like tofu in Korea? By the way I think tofu is not good for Caucasian men because it contains estrogen which could cause man boobs. Who wants that? Do you want your boobs to be bigger than your girls? Of course not. What's wrong with you? You want your girl's boobs to be full and beautiful, right? So give her the tofu! Pile it on and she'll appreciate that you are a sensitive and caring boy friend because of your self-less interest in her health and well-being, meanwhile, we all know your "evil" plan. hehehe. I've done a lot of research on this, well, the caveat is: I've always felt that this is the truth--Tofu interferes with mens' testosterone secretion--the stuff that makes us manly and want to practice warfare on people who drive jalopy's and use Soviet era machine guns in the middle east. Who wants peace and love anyway? What would happen if American's gesture towards peace was like Koreans who wear the chic looking face mask? Would this generosity filter out our "need" to inflict people with "our way of life" in order to protect our "interests" and stop those who are envious of our "freedoms?"
I bought a Korean style face mask for 3,000 (Won). Many people wear face masks when they are sick or when the pollutant level is higher than normal. I think that's a wonderful and generous, forward thinking gesture; why share your germs? My own mask has a nice yet light menthol smell just like a Marlboro menthol cigarette. I don't look cool in this mask but it will filter out the dust and pollutants hopefully. When I wear it though, I am Palmer, incognito, in my greenish blue mask. I walk around the city, feeling comfortable in its soft and pillowy appearance, my face hidden, just another man in a mask walking down the street, a common man, a man of the people. Where was I?
I didn't sleep well last night. My colleague who also lives in the same building but above me, does calisthenics or lifts weights at 4:30am. Actually, I believe she is an insomniac and is OCD because as I lay awake this morning, I was mentally diagramming the six foot by five foot space she has to maneuver between her bed and sofa wondering how she could possibly make so much noise for an hour. She could be one of those people, who some of us know, who must adjust and re-adjust furniture, books and any thing out of order. All that running about this morning was just adjusting, in microns, the edges of books and paper on her living room table.
I don't want to ask people to do be quiet or change their behavior. They have a right to live their life in their own unique and special way. (yeah, right) But it interfered with my sleep and I need a good seven hours! Forgettabout! I asked her nicely to take it easy up there and not drop those weights. I'll keep you updated or not...
This post was boring. Maybe I'll delete it. There's no profanity. What's wrong with me? Have I gone soft like tofu in Korea? By the way I think tofu is not good for Caucasian men because it contains estrogen which could cause man boobs. Who wants that? Do you want your boobs to be bigger than your girls? Of course not. What's wrong with you? You want your girl's boobs to be full and beautiful, right? So give her the tofu! Pile it on and she'll appreciate that you are a sensitive and caring boy friend because of your self-less interest in her health and well-being, meanwhile, we all know your "evil" plan. hehehe. I've done a lot of research on this, well, the caveat is: I've always felt that this is the truth--Tofu interferes with mens' testosterone secretion--the stuff that makes us manly and want to practice warfare on people who drive jalopy's and use Soviet era machine guns in the middle east. Who wants peace and love anyway? What would happen if American's gesture towards peace was like Koreans who wear the chic looking face mask? Would this generosity filter out our "need" to inflict people with "our way of life" in order to protect our "interests" and stop those who are envious of our "freedoms?"
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Hwaesong Fortress in Suwon City S. Korea
On Monday, March 10 I ventured out to sight see in this great city of Suwon and wound up at the Hwaesong Fortress, a 5 km wall that housed King Jeonsig (spelling error) home and future capital of Korea until plans were changed. It was a cloudy, warm day and I had a stomach full of my favorite Korean food, Mon-Du, and enough energy from my Dunkin Donuts coffee I drank earlier at Suwon Station, just 15 minutes away from the 400 year old castle and fortress.
I meet a couple of Japanese tourists and one Korean girl all studying geography as first year students. We split off and wondered around. The wall and inner buildings where King Jeonsong lived has been reconstructed but nonetheless, it's a real treat to see how they documented the moving of 7.5 ton slabs of rock to build the two exterior walls against enemies. In 1950 Korean War a lot of the compound was destroyed but the Korean government paid homage and built up the area again including the Paldamun gate just three minutes from the main entrance.
This area of Suwon houses some cute cafes and active nightlife. None of which I partook because everyone is working from 7am-6pm Monday through Friday. The streets explode with people after six pm. It's pretty cool to see it happen when students come out of school or language institutes, parents pick up their kids, workers start the commute home or go to the thousands of restaurants that support each little neighborhood nook and cranny in Suwon.
The fortress should be seen again this time in late spring. It should be another treat to walk the perimeter with the flowers in bloom. I will take a date up to this wooden cafe up the hill from the fortress to have some snacks. I'm looking forward to that!
I meet a couple of Japanese tourists and one Korean girl all studying geography as first year students. We split off and wondered around. The wall and inner buildings where King Jeonsong lived has been reconstructed but nonetheless, it's a real treat to see how they documented the moving of 7.5 ton slabs of rock to build the two exterior walls against enemies. In 1950 Korean War a lot of the compound was destroyed but the Korean government paid homage and built up the area again including the Paldamun gate just three minutes from the main entrance.
This area of Suwon houses some cute cafes and active nightlife. None of which I partook because everyone is working from 7am-6pm Monday through Friday. The streets explode with people after six pm. It's pretty cool to see it happen when students come out of school or language institutes, parents pick up their kids, workers start the commute home or go to the thousands of restaurants that support each little neighborhood nook and cranny in Suwon.
The fortress should be seen again this time in late spring. It should be another treat to walk the perimeter with the flowers in bloom. I will take a date up to this wooden cafe up the hill from the fortress to have some snacks. I'm looking forward to that!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Mon-Du (Korean dumpling)
Two days ago one of my colleagues here in Suwon mentioned a new Mon Du restaurant she tried and liked. I went in and had their beef mon-du, a dumpling with beef inside. It was great! Delicious. A soft pastry like shell with garlicly beef and cooked cabbage in side. One order of ten dumplings was about $3.00USD but that was not enough to fill me up, so I ordered another ten. Within thirty minutes, I ate 17 dumplings and had two helpings of soup. What a pig. I could have finished the three dumplings but I took them home in a cute, paper to-go box for later.
The next day I was on the toilet for like an hour! A two to one ratio of time spent eating and time spent shitting. It was a Mon-Du Dumping feast. My legs fell asleep and used half a roll of toilet paper. Try wiping that, sonny! I am out of toilet paper and shit-out-of luck because the stores in this country sell only mega-size packaged rolls of t.p., you know, the kind you get from your not so-local-super mega-Costco store where they sell a small package of 36 rolls. This is Korea, man! I barely have enough storage for 5 rolls of t.p. What the fuck?! Tomorrow I will stop by the school and steal a roll of t.p.
I am on a Mon-du roll. This morning I went back to the Mon-Du place and had only one order of beef Mon-du. I got to take it easy, you see. Later, I went to Suwon Station, where the Akeyoung Dept store is. Inside, in the basement level, is the train station and 20 restaurants and a very cool and clean supermarket, the kind that Koreans should gloat about and tease us Americans. This GS market is amazing and they sell, yes, Mon-Du. But this Mon-Du is the big, round cow pattie kind with lots of meat inside for only $2.00USD. I took it easy and had just had one with my Dunkin Donuts coffee. Jesus, I hope I'm okay tomorrow morning. I will ask my neighbor for some t.p. just in case.
The next day I was on the toilet for like an hour! A two to one ratio of time spent eating and time spent shitting. It was a Mon-Du Dumping feast. My legs fell asleep and used half a roll of toilet paper. Try wiping that, sonny! I am out of toilet paper and shit-out-of luck because the stores in this country sell only mega-size packaged rolls of t.p., you know, the kind you get from your not so-local-super mega-Costco store where they sell a small package of 36 rolls. This is Korea, man! I barely have enough storage for 5 rolls of t.p. What the fuck?! Tomorrow I will stop by the school and steal a roll of t.p.
I am on a Mon-du roll. This morning I went back to the Mon-Du place and had only one order of beef Mon-du. I got to take it easy, you see. Later, I went to Suwon Station, where the Akeyoung Dept store is. Inside, in the basement level, is the train station and 20 restaurants and a very cool and clean supermarket, the kind that Koreans should gloat about and tease us Americans. This GS market is amazing and they sell, yes, Mon-Du. But this Mon-Du is the big, round cow pattie kind with lots of meat inside for only $2.00USD. I took it easy and had just had one with my Dunkin Donuts coffee. Jesus, I hope I'm okay tomorrow morning. I will ask my neighbor for some t.p. just in case.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Puking up lunch in a language institute
The little kids who I teach decide to eat more than necessary and run around during break time which mixes the contents of their stomachs like a strong margerita at Lares Restaurant in Santa Monica, CA. Child vomit is worse than a fat, homeless man panhandling in his wholed-out briefs. It's disgusting. We love our own children's vomit though! I don't have any kids and after witnessing a vomit pie bigger than a cow pie on an upstate New York farm, I say I don't want any kids nor their venal vomit! In general, I avoid my vomit, vomitting and others vomit too. I avoid anything that resembles vomit. It's not the vomit or the volume of said stomach excretion but the smell that does not wafer in the air but implodes the oxygen leaving that awful smell. Big vomit has a big vomit smell. Especially here where spicy food is the style. If you made it through his far, I guess you're into vomit too. I don't take it personally that the kids think my teaching English conversation makes them sick.
Mac Berstein's Peanut Butter and Volume v. Square Area
Since I am teaching kids, I am in a teacher frame-of-mind. If I am not mistaken, Volume is the amount of space found inside an object. Say a jar of Mac Bernstein's famous peanut butter contains 45,000 ground peanuts inside a 16 ounce jar. If we spread it out on a piece of Trader Joes Whole Wheat Protein Bread, then that would be nice. Since I don't have either here, then forgettabout it! Any way, where was I? Square Area is the measurement of a three-sided object. Which brings me to Suwon City, South Korea, home of a 1.5 million people, 10,000 or so ex-pats, a Family Mart convenience store on every corner and every third person sick with some sort of cold or flu.
I lived in Los Angeles, a sprawled-out smog bowl of 4 million people, about 1 million of them "illegal" and the rest actors sitting in 8 million cars and trucks on their way to an audition or something equally as important. Each winter some bug goes around getting everyone sick. I don't see them of course because they are driving the hundreds of miles of freeways. Here, however, "I see sick people" coughing, hacking up discolored mucus, the thick kind that sticks to sidewalks like a jelly fish, sneezing and wearing those warm and polite masks on their faces. A good idea to contain your germs. As a teacher, I have built my immune system up to be super strong. I use 12 ounces of hand sanitizer during each class and enclose myself in a plastic wrap, teaching from a remote location via a virtual private network camera.
To the point: it seems that every third person is sick but my if my reasoning is correct, what I am seeing is the view from inside the large jar of peanut butter with 45,000 others! creating a volume versus square area perspective. If Suwon is a jar of Mac Bernstein's, Inc Peanut Butter, then we have a large amount of peanuts or people crammed into an enclosed area. Los Angeles, with its urban sprawl, has three times the amount of people distributed over 60 square miles. They might have the same amount of people with the flu but we don't see them because of the larger area! We will not see them on the movie screen either.
I lived in Los Angeles, a sprawled-out smog bowl of 4 million people, about 1 million of them "illegal" and the rest actors sitting in 8 million cars and trucks on their way to an audition or something equally as important. Each winter some bug goes around getting everyone sick. I don't see them of course because they are driving the hundreds of miles of freeways. Here, however, "I see sick people" coughing, hacking up discolored mucus, the thick kind that sticks to sidewalks like a jelly fish, sneezing and wearing those warm and polite masks on their faces. A good idea to contain your germs. As a teacher, I have built my immune system up to be super strong. I use 12 ounces of hand sanitizer during each class and enclose myself in a plastic wrap, teaching from a remote location via a virtual private network camera.
To the point: it seems that every third person is sick but my if my reasoning is correct, what I am seeing is the view from inside the large jar of peanut butter with 45,000 others! creating a volume versus square area perspective. If Suwon is a jar of Mac Bernstein's, Inc Peanut Butter, then we have a large amount of peanuts or people crammed into an enclosed area. Los Angeles, with its urban sprawl, has three times the amount of people distributed over 60 square miles. They might have the same amount of people with the flu but we don't see them because of the larger area! We will not see them on the movie screen either.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Word Scramble and Saving Face
Yesterday I taught my advance level kindergarten kids. It's a class of seven students all around the age of 10. They are the highest level offered in the school. We are reading about the ocean and the undersea garden, an area of hot springs and weird clams 30 cm long. By the way, clams that big are disgusting when opened. Anyway, since there is new vocabulary, I created a "word scramble," a new word that is spelled incorrectly on the activity sheet in which they must decipher it into the correct word. For example, "toys" would be scrambled to look like "oyts." They are my most advance kids and they still had a difficult time with my instruction.
A Korean student named Spark, yes, that's his self-entitled English name for the class, cannot decipher a troublesome word on the activity sheet which I spent an hour or so editing and refining in the cold basement somewhere in Suwon, Korea. Spark and his buddy, Sean, are the two boys in the class. Sean graps the concept and so do the five girls seated at the next table.
"Teacher, what's this?" Spark asks. I kneel by the kiddy table and guide my pen while I write the transformation of the word "oyts" into "toys." Still not understanding, I begin by writing Spark's name, mispelled, in the margin. I begin with the letter "R" and then write "A" and next is "P" and finally "S." "See?" I asked. I realized I forgot the letter "K" and place it at the beginning. All of sudden Sean, his class mate sees this transformation and falls to the floor on his back in spasms of laughter. I realized I spelled the word "KRAPS" on the margin. Soon, the whole class pushes and shoves past me to see my error and joins Sean's laughter. I guess certain English words have the same meaning in Korean though spelled slightly differently but sounding the same!
I apologize to Sean in Korean who brushes it off with a shrug. After our big laugh, Spark tells me that "Krap" is wrong and that "Crap" is the correct word. Interesting how saving face works in word scramble!
The next day the Director told me that he received a call from the parent. I could not tell if the Director was mad or just exasperated by the number of complaints by parents at the school.
A Korean student named Spark, yes, that's his self-entitled English name for the class, cannot decipher a troublesome word on the activity sheet which I spent an hour or so editing and refining in the cold basement somewhere in Suwon, Korea. Spark and his buddy, Sean, are the two boys in the class. Sean graps the concept and so do the five girls seated at the next table.
"Teacher, what's this?" Spark asks. I kneel by the kiddy table and guide my pen while I write the transformation of the word "oyts" into "toys." Still not understanding, I begin by writing Spark's name, mispelled, in the margin. I begin with the letter "R" and then write "A" and next is "P" and finally "S." "See?" I asked. I realized I forgot the letter "K" and place it at the beginning. All of sudden Sean, his class mate sees this transformation and falls to the floor on his back in spasms of laughter. I realized I spelled the word "KRAPS" on the margin. Soon, the whole class pushes and shoves past me to see my error and joins Sean's laughter. I guess certain English words have the same meaning in Korean though spelled slightly differently but sounding the same!
I apologize to Sean in Korean who brushes it off with a shrug. After our big laugh, Spark tells me that "Krap" is wrong and that "Crap" is the correct word. Interesting how saving face works in word scramble!
The next day the Director told me that he received a call from the parent. I could not tell if the Director was mad or just exasperated by the number of complaints by parents at the school.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Rice Poop
It's about my seventh day here in Korea and noticed a trend in my evacuations. Not the emergency kind but the bathroom kind. After a steady diet of rice and meats, some beef, some chicken, my evacuations are like nice, fresh...cooked rice. They are neat and compact in shape, a long oblong ship that makes a nice splash on the shore of the porcelein bowl.
It's cold here in the basement where I slowly type and converse with the mostly Canadian English staff. They like to say "wicked" a lot. Jay, the Jack of All Trades, the Korean CFO here at the school, talks loudly and excitedly on his cell and manages to flirt with a cute 40 year old Korean teacher asst. I am preparing for my class, six year olds who don't want to be here. I can't think of any six year old who wants to be in class.
It's cold here in the basement where I slowly type and converse with the mostly Canadian English staff. They like to say "wicked" a lot. Jay, the Jack of All Trades, the Korean CFO here at the school, talks loudly and excitedly on his cell and manages to flirt with a cute 40 year old Korean teacher asst. I am preparing for my class, six year olds who don't want to be here. I can't think of any six year old who wants to be in class.
Monday, March 3, 2008
To the bar and hurry up! (Bar Jew-say-o, bali, bali)
Yesterday, at 5pm, after a full five hours of lesson planning in the cold little basement of green cubicles and sluggish Internet, i decided to walk around the neighborhood of bars and restaurants. With my 30 pound back pack and imitation Navy P-coat, I wondered around for ten minutes exploring the minuatae of Suwon. It hjas a lot of commerical buildings that line the street, some eight stories high containing billard rooms, "Businessmen bars", Karate studios, soup shops and other things. Within minutes, a cab pulled up and a man wearing his hospital pajamas, rolled out. With his IV stand in hand, he paused to lite up a cigarette and walked across the street to his favorite bar. How can you not love this place?
Translation: Bar Jew-say-o, bali, bali = Take me to the bar, right away. I've been in the hospital too long and I need to drink and smoke!
Translation: Bar Jew-say-o, bali, bali = Take me to the bar, right away. I've been in the hospital too long and I need to drink and smoke!
Friday, February 29, 2008
"Sum-Sang-Nim" Party
A "Sum-sang-Nim" is teacher in Korean. Last night us teachers said good bye to one by throwing a pot luck party at the home of two teachers. There was cheap red wine, light beer and lots of food as we said our goodbyes to Charlene (number 1). Charlene is being replaced by another Charlene! The Director brought some sugar and lime flavored Cool Aid which was mixed with the Korean drink, Soju. (Pronounced "So Jew"). I think Woody Allen would be rightlyfully paranoid about that name!
I got drunk. We all got drunk. The great think about Korea, you can take a taxi anytime, anywhere for cheap. There's no excuse driving drunk. Lisa, a tall lanky teacher, told me she has dibs on several items in my apartment which will be vacated in a few days. I hope my bed and table will be intact before I move in!! She has a great sense of humor and we bonded that night including a new secret Team B (our team) hand sign. Vato!
The booze flowed and a cute teacher from Pimbo was there and i chatted her up for a bit until John, the Director, "cock blocked" me. She was definitely attracted to him but he blew it big time b/c she left for her friend's apartment w/o him! John talked and talked and missed his opportunity and my teacher buddies saved me from his talking wrath as they pulled me away to the kitchen for conversation. All that lubricant and condoms I had back at the Love Hotel...
Jay the Jack of all trades showed up and finished off the last of the lime green Cool Aid mixed w/ Soju. I heard some amazing gossip about him that night which I don't think I'll post. In any case, booze was involved as is most late night transactions here.
You can already see who is friends with who now. And the new teachers bonding with each other and little friendships developing. I already know who annoys me but will give her a few more chances b/c it is early in my stay here and it could be her feeling of insecurity and fears that make her act a certain way. I have developed a rigourous scientific test that will eliminate bias in judging one's actions until all the facts are in: after three outings w/ said person in three different places including one where he or she feels relaxed, then the facts are in and I can rightly say that this person is a jackass, etc. I have two more to go, if that ever happens!
I got drunk. We all got drunk. The great think about Korea, you can take a taxi anytime, anywhere for cheap. There's no excuse driving drunk. Lisa, a tall lanky teacher, told me she has dibs on several items in my apartment which will be vacated in a few days. I hope my bed and table will be intact before I move in!! She has a great sense of humor and we bonded that night including a new secret Team B (our team) hand sign. Vato!
The booze flowed and a cute teacher from Pimbo was there and i chatted her up for a bit until John, the Director, "cock blocked" me. She was definitely attracted to him but he blew it big time b/c she left for her friend's apartment w/o him! John talked and talked and missed his opportunity and my teacher buddies saved me from his talking wrath as they pulled me away to the kitchen for conversation. All that lubricant and condoms I had back at the Love Hotel...
Jay the Jack of all trades showed up and finished off the last of the lime green Cool Aid mixed w/ Soju. I heard some amazing gossip about him that night which I don't think I'll post. In any case, booze was involved as is most late night transactions here.
You can already see who is friends with who now. And the new teachers bonding with each other and little friendships developing. I already know who annoys me but will give her a few more chances b/c it is early in my stay here and it could be her feeling of insecurity and fears that make her act a certain way. I have developed a rigourous scientific test that will eliminate bias in judging one's actions until all the facts are in: after three outings w/ said person in three different places including one where he or she feels relaxed, then the facts are in and I can rightly say that this person is a jackass, etc. I have two more to go, if that ever happens!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
The Chicken bus and One Hour Lovers
When I went to Guatemala some years ago, I took the local bus to a town. It was a converted diesel school bus, the yellow bird kind we see in every US city. Along the way we picked up farmers, their wives and of course, their hens. I called it the chicken bus and for good reason. Lots of local chickens crammed into a coop. Today when I flew from LAX to Seoul, I felt like the chicken in a coop! Economy class chickens that we were but we had choices of movies, lots of movies. I couldn't sleep on the plane. Who can? Only the lucky ones!
Suwon, South Korea is about 40 degrees. Light snow and a nice wind chill. My hotel room is warm. they have floor heating. the owner placed me in the hotel until the other teacher moves out of his apt. The hotel i'm staying in is for "one hour lovers."
The Chess Hotel in Suwon has all the amenties for quick sex. Lubricants, lots of TP, tissues, a big TV, shaving cream, toothpaste and something called "Aragon" for men. It's from the Kingdom of Aragon and is supposed to make your skin supple and silky. The one hour love hotel has a heavy, cloth drape in front of the entry way so your cheating spouse won't be seen entering or leaving this din of inequity.
Suwon, South Korea is about 40 degrees. Light snow and a nice wind chill. My hotel room is warm. they have floor heating. the owner placed me in the hotel until the other teacher moves out of his apt. The hotel i'm staying in is for "one hour lovers."
The Chess Hotel in Suwon has all the amenties for quick sex. Lubricants, lots of TP, tissues, a big TV, shaving cream, toothpaste and something called "Aragon" for men. It's from the Kingdom of Aragon and is supposed to make your skin supple and silky. The one hour love hotel has a heavy, cloth drape in front of the entry way so your cheating spouse won't be seen entering or leaving this din of inequity.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Leaving Anderson...
Some didn't say but I know they thought this was a hasty decision to leave Anderson and go to Korea, the Land of the Morning Calm. There isn't anything calm about 45 million people inside a country half the size of California...
Anyway, my plan is to teach for one year at a private institute in Suwon City for one year and come back to L.A. to start graduate school. I can save a lot of money, travel, meet interesting people, learn Korean (finally) and make a large change in my life; where I was going I wasn't liking and this "sudden" change of packing and moving to a foreign country will do the job of implementing some major changes in my life. I was stuck and it was time to take action.
Anyway, my plan is to teach for one year at a private institute in Suwon City for one year and come back to L.A. to start graduate school. I can save a lot of money, travel, meet interesting people, learn Korean (finally) and make a large change in my life; where I was going I wasn't liking and this "sudden" change of packing and moving to a foreign country will do the job of implementing some major changes in my life. I was stuck and it was time to take action.
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