Friday, November 21, 2008

Toastmasters

I went to a Toastmaster's meeting in November 2008 at UCLA to find out more about the organization. Specifically, I want to learn how to persuade and interest people in hearing my ideas. Toastmaster's has a cool curriculum which builds speaker's skill sets and books to help them reach goals. Plus, you can obtain secondary benefits of building some leadership skills as you volunteer with them in various capacities. And, the elephant in the room, perhaps, is developing and exploiting your contacts to further your career. My goal is to get people interested in my bike rides and get people to listen to my ideas.

Some people are able to engage others and others are likely to follow and join them based upon the personality of the organizer. I am terrible at this. At a family reunion, for example, I spent a lot of time before hand to organize games. I brought them along but my cousin Beth took charge of the events, and, the point of this, people automatically deferred to her, without a second thought or deference to me. Weird. Personally, I prefer working by myself. I don't want to depend on anyone especially since most group work I do, I wind up doing the majority of it myself or wind up feeling angry at the others who flake. Although I am gregarious and social, I am in situations which I am not in a group. You would think that Toastmaster's could help such a "misanthrope" as me.

The first speech I heard was from this guy Larry who told us about his boring trip to Florida. He sweated profusely during his speech which was focused on using vocal inflection to demonstrate "excitedness." He would say things like "it was GREAT that I met with colleagues..." or "it was so AMAZING to see the exhibit..." Anyways, he was prepared and though I didn't learn anything, he got some practice in and to build up his speaking skills.

I came away from the meeting thinking that Toastmaster's is really for people who are totally shy and afraid of speaking in front of anyone. Most of the speeches had the sense of being "inflated" and "too happy" and too self-congratulatory to each member. It was too "feel good" and I think, a bit fake in their transparent efforts to build "self-confidence" in public speaking. It works for people and I think it's a great organization. However, I left feeling unimpressed.

The thing that really bothered me was that the members did not walk around or even greet the four new visitors to their meeting. Oh, sorry, one did and it was so obvious to me that he shook her hand because she was really cute. Otherwise, the other "ugly" ones didn't even get a greeting. You would think that they would remember when they came to their first meeting. I expected them to be welcoming and friendly and they were not. I guess their "self-confidence" is highly correlated to their unfriendliness.

Last week, while I was walking across the street at work, I saw Larry, the guy from Toastmasters!! He five or six feet in front of me. What are the odds of this? I yelled out his name, twice. He didn't even look over his shoulder. He ignored me. And he wasn't wearing head phones. Now, I am even more unimpressed by them. Now, here's the really "small world" weird synchronicity: Larry appeared at a holiday party I was invited to! WTF? I did not have the opportunity to talk to him and I felt if I did, he would start sweating profusely and that would have been embarrassing!

I found other meetings in the area but they are not as convenient for me nor do I think I fall in the category of being shy. I don't think I could stand the way they patronize each other on how great that speech was and how the president of that meeting gave lavish praise on one of the members who barely spoke.

So, fuck toastmasters.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Living in a dump

Yes, blog reader. I am poor. Not the homeless kind or the welfare kind but just the lower middle class kind. I am living in a dumpy apartment with my beautiful gf adjacent to the massive 405 freeway, a never ending sound of engines, dust and exhaust. Despite the 20 foot sound wall, the noise of one or two million engines wheezing north and south is a constant reminder that any dwelling next to the freeway will always attract poor people who are often poor in neighborly relations.

On Sunday morning at 8am, my neighbor, call him Rudy, decides to warm up his 25 year old rust bucket Toyota pick up-- For ten freakin minutes. The sound of the struggling engine and its gaseous exhaust wafers into my bedroom. Ah, reader. Nothing like the sound and smell of an engine to wake me up from a pleasant sleep. I was ready to revel in its odoriferous breeze but I had to pee instead. Later that week I left him a nice note under his shitty wiper blade telling him to quit it. Would this type of behavior happen in the mountainous upscale homes of Bel Air? No.

The "whistler" of apartment 12 is another quaint feature among my neighbor brethren. He has a distinct whistle that he uses to call his friend as he approaches the building. Once inside the apt of his friend, the whistling continues almost like a nervous tick. Do you know anyone who has a facial tick? You watch it and the person knows you are watching it which makes him tick more! Now imagine hearing your neighbor whistle like that and you'll understand how I feel.

Next on the list of living in a certified dump, is the 2am floor "squeaker" from the neighbor above. Since the apt building does not have carpeting, which is good for the asthmatics who live next to the freeway, these old wooden floors creek and squeak like mother fers. Enough to wake me and my gf up. Last month I wrote the "squeaker" a note to stop yakking on the phone at 1am above our bedroom. It wouldn't be so bad if he would stop talking and whining like a little girl. Maybe I am doing that now in this blog?

It seems that being poor is one of the distinct qualities that allow people to be inconsiderate and not thoughtful to others. Of course you can say that the white collar rich are stealing from the poor but that's another blog entry.

The other day someone dropped a SD memory chip on the ground. I found it and placed a note above the mail boxes. No one claimed it. How can you not notice your device memory gone? Do you not read, neighbors? How can you be so complacent and passive about a $45 memory chip with your pictures or music on it? If it was me, I would call.

Last month I found a Motorola Razr cell phone in the alley. It was in a nice carry case. It was used but in okay condition. I open their contact list and last calls dialed and received. I noticed a lot of east coast area codes. Since it was about 8pm PST, I called and left a voice mail with someone explaining how I found the phone and where I found it. It took about three days for the person who lost the phone to finally retrieve it. And he lived in my building!! WTF? If I lost my phone, which I have, I would be one anxious mother fer! What is wrong with my neighbors?

As usual you get an interesting and somewhat eclectic mix of people who have different schedules and lifestyles. I don't think that is very interesting. In fact, it's disruptive. I like my building and neighbors to be quiet, clean and considerate. I don't want to hear people talking loudly, or their TVs barking, seeing their dumb pets pooing, having their children play near my apt, smell their exhaust smoke, having their friends wiping their feet on my door mat, the oily smell of their funky foods nor to have them act like they don't know who I am or nod or say hello in passing.

Work and Career Issues

I was reading a chapter from Po Bronson's wonderful and honest book called What to do with my Life or something like that. It told the story of a few people who decided to live in New Orleans and how their notions of career and identity came to a standstill. Basically, those who were burnt out on being ambitious in high-powered cities like New York found refuge in New Orlean's lifestyle of easy living in the Big Easy. Those who now lived there escaped the rat race however their internal sound track, that voice in their heads, of getting things done and being ambitious were slowed down to a barely audible pitch. They still had longings to better themselves professionally but it was toned down like the begging squeal of an amputated wheel chair bound Veteran on anti-depressants and booze. In other words, if you want a career, you should not live in New Orleans.

In retrospect, I took a six month paid vacation working in a Suwon, Korean hogwan/language institute as a refuge from career issues. I also had that travel itch and a need to do something big and different to shake me out of my rut. That barely audible pitch I heard in Korea is now a clarion bell to get busy and get on a career track that promises a higher level of pay and professional opportunity. Every day I think about what to do with my life and how to get there. I was able to think about it in Korea but now I dwell upon here and I am better for it.

In Korea as in New Orleans (according to Bronson), you are not confronted with this tension to get shit done and pursue your career. Hell, you're in Korea making got money, living a great lifestyle and eating well. Why bother? Here in Los Angeles, however, opportunities are everywhere to create a career you enjoy but the obstacles and hard work can be overwhelming though worth it.

For a good six months I made some excellent cash, saw the world and avoided those nagging career issues. Now that I'm back and planning my future, it is a nasty headache of soul searching. I am experimenting with starting my own college counseling business and recently advertised my administrative services for a fee or commission. No, I am not an escort, you pervs. I'm glad I am doing this now.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Wow! Real humanity v. Fake humanity

Yes, blog reader, Wow! As I type on this clunky Mac computer sitting on my 40 year old steel desk, a relic probably handed down from the engineering department at UCLA 30 years ago, I ponder and think about what happened yesterday on one of my Palmer bike rides. Let's see what these stupid sticking shift keys can make out of this humane event on Sunday and how it compares to corporate fakery in the name of humanity, or some other cultural criticism like that.

As I was "mole-ing out" from my entrenched Westside state of mind to Olympic and Robertson, I stopped to see a struggling pigeon, with a broken wing, hopping madly in the middle of traffic. I quickly pulled over and watched as it would struggle to fly above the cars to only land in front of their pumping ABS brakes. Traffic stopped to allow the hurt pigeon pass only to be narrowly missed by other vehicles who were too impatient or unaware to care. I hopped off my bike and leaned it against a wall. I slowly entered traffic and saw a guy in his MBZ, jump out and pick up the pigeon. He then walked across the street and placed it on the front lawn of one of those 60's style anonymous buildings you see in L.A. He walked back to his car, beaming happily of his goodwill. I even thanked him. His act was genuine. It was human.

This reminds me of something I read in The Starbucks Experience about real people "paying it forward" or backward as they waited in line at the drive through of a starbucks. I know I am sounding like an overly critical a-hole but this nice act of paying for your neighbor's coffee reeks of corporate back room marketing strategy in order to celebrate customers, boost employee morale and sell more starbucks coffee. Creating a corporate atmosphere where it's okay to do this behavior of "paying it forward" makes people use to the cultural action of doing "good" deeds of using money instead of policy. In other words, when you use money it persuades corporations to act nicely when in fact, we should create a world where morals are guiding policies to achieve a better quality of life. It creates a cultural phenomenon where consumers create change using their change and makes corporations think about their impact on the environment. Is this really what we need? Have corporations do "good" when we should just make the shareholders legally responsible for their negative actions?

I can see why many people have a great need for the Church and for religious leaders and church action groups to petition but the churches are failing b/c of this cultural consumerist need to use money to create change when instead, we should use morals based upon laws and progressive policies instead. We need to separate religion from policies, government and corporations. We should not apply human values to organizations that are not legally responsible for their people. We should make corporations legally responsible to ensure that humanity is real and not fake.