Hello. It's me....again. This time I'm angry! Koreans have defiled my beloved Italian food with corn and pickles. Ugh! What's wrong with these people? I'm from New York, pizza is in my soul. This makes me an expert. I'm half Italian too. Like great race horses bred for their genetics, I am bred to know good Italian food! And I am a pizza purist. No pineapple on my pizza! Who thought of that anyway? In the 1980s when Apple computer was fighting the evil empires of IBM and MicroSoft, Apple engineers would be hired for their computer prowess and their like of pineapple pizza. Believe it! I could never have worked there! If I was on a desert island, pizza would be my food choice--made by a big fat, Italian guy named Manucuso, with big sweat stains on his wife beater tee-shirt sayin in broken English: "Wats a madder you!?" Anyway, I am ranting, again.
Here in Korea, they ruin all Italian food by adding bits of yellow corn to the red sauce. I'm totally disgusted; I think I can dismiss a few thousands years of their culture in one full sweep by their decimation of my pizza! I want to start a campaign against corn on pizza. What is it with Americans like me anyway? Always starting some "campaign?"
I've been to several pizza places here in Suwon that serve "Italian" food. They add yellow corn to the sauce or sprinkle it on pizza. It's not a topping, by the way. I don't order it like that. It comes with all Italian sauces built in like those small, triangular smoker's windows found in 1970 Lincoln Continentals IV. Remember those, baby? When you were riding around with your pimp on the east side! :) Palmer is gettin crazy!
Adding yellow corn to Italian food is like the green pepper in your high school cafeteria soup; a hodgepodge of left over vegetables that were dumped into the soup of the day, every day. They don't know what to do with all deez extra veggies, so they figure to make a "soup" and add some broth. That's disgusting too. Might as well eat compost!
Many countries try to imitate european cuisine. The flavors, the spices, the preparation. Korea, like other countries, fuse their food with flavors of Italy and such. They obviously missed out on the Italian lesson of pizza making and food combining. So did my high school cafeteria but they had more sense not to modify pizza in such a way.
Another ugly element is serving Italian food with sweet dill pickles on the side. For example, I went to an "Italian" restuarant and ordered pasta with red sauce. How can you go wrong with dhat? You know what I mean? An Italian restuarant that fails in their red sauce and basic pasta (Pasta Marinara), should not be allowed to continue. Before the entre the waitress brought out sweet pickles, cut, as a side. What is going on??!! I smiled and said thank you. The food came, it sucked. What can I do? This is not America; you can't send the food back. Koreans will loose "face." Believe me, I tried that in 1998 when I found steel wool in my food. My Korean friend argued with the owner to get a new dish made without the steel wool! Ouch!
Suwon, Korea has a failing grade in Italian food. They serve it with yellow corn and sweet pickles. Wait until you get home and eat like a Manucuso!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Cute Kids Cute Talk?
Hello from the hot and humid side of Suwon, South Korea. It's Palmer in Korea again reporting this time on kid's language acquisition abilities. In other words, the things they say in the classroom.
There's a colleague who got upset about the new and fun way some students are talking in my school. It seems that one of her/his students likes to go around in the classroom and say in English, "Very Sexy!" (the female student pronounces it as: "Very Shasexy") I'm not sure if she learned it from another student or if it's the same student that my other colleague, Bernard, teaches. Some teachers have the same student in different classes during the day. In any case, my colleague was very upset last week and shook a disapproving finger in Bernard's direction. From what I've heard he/she is one of the teacher's currently looking for work elsewhere.
There's another few students who now go around and use the satan like head-banger hand sign you would see in the audience of an AC/DC show. The colleague noticed that too. He/she says this upsets the routine of students. When students need to settle down, the teachers sometimes say, "Show me two fingers...who's quiet?" The students then hold up their right hands and make a "peace" sign and hopefully settle down. Now, it's all shot to hell with satan's handy-work!
If you are cringing blog reader, this will really grab ya! Yesterday I talked to Bernard, he's a bi-lingual Canadian Korean. He told me that that last week one of his young students grabbed her breast and said to him, in Korean, "suck suck" or "milk me." WTF?! She's younger than twelve!
I have a eight year old student who ran up to me at the beginning of class a few weeks ago and said that she wants to be "my lover!" I told her no, I am your teacher. Where do kids model or see this behavior? It's crazy teaching English at a hogwan.
There's a colleague who got upset about the new and fun way some students are talking in my school. It seems that one of her/his students likes to go around in the classroom and say in English, "Very Sexy!" (the female student pronounces it as: "Very Shasexy") I'm not sure if she learned it from another student or if it's the same student that my other colleague, Bernard, teaches. Some teachers have the same student in different classes during the day. In any case, my colleague was very upset last week and shook a disapproving finger in Bernard's direction. From what I've heard he/she is one of the teacher's currently looking for work elsewhere.
There's another few students who now go around and use the satan like head-banger hand sign you would see in the audience of an AC/DC show. The colleague noticed that too. He/she says this upsets the routine of students. When students need to settle down, the teachers sometimes say, "Show me two fingers...who's quiet?" The students then hold up their right hands and make a "peace" sign and hopefully settle down. Now, it's all shot to hell with satan's handy-work!
If you are cringing blog reader, this will really grab ya! Yesterday I talked to Bernard, he's a bi-lingual Canadian Korean. He told me that that last week one of his young students grabbed her breast and said to him, in Korean, "suck suck" or "milk me." WTF?! She's younger than twelve!
I have a eight year old student who ran up to me at the beginning of class a few weeks ago and said that she wants to be "my lover!" I told her no, I am your teacher. Where do kids model or see this behavior? It's crazy teaching English at a hogwan.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Update on my probation, part III
Hello blog readers of the world! Here is the third and not last installment of "Matt on probation." I met with the Director and the owner of said hogwan of Suwon, South Korea. What bullshit did flow from the former's mouth!
First, here is the letter I wrote to them in response to two letters the Director wrote me on May 30 and June 17.
J=Director D=Owner L=Other big wig person
Letter Number One
Sent on Fri, 6/20/08, Matt Palmer <> wrote:
From: Matt Palmer
To: Director and Owner
Friday, June 20, 2008
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this letter to clarify my thoughts and position on what has transpired between me, staff and management at MBESL (MBS) before and during my probation. Please read it as factual. It is not meant to place any party on the defense; it is merely explaining events, as they unfolded, and my feelings—as I hope to convey—in an assessment of myself and MBS over the past few months. It is also written to show some inconsistencies of admonishment and offer solutions, when possible.
In our meeting on Friday, May 30 the subject was my admonishment for my classroom act on May 29. During the meeting with J, D and L, I think D was correct in his assessment about my teaching preferences; I do prefer teaching older students, middle school and above. Although my IEP3 of ten/eleven year olds is generally good and their high English learning ability great, they are sometimes incredibly “bratty” and act spoiled. My KP class is fun but I think I prefer teaching older kids and less “baby sitting” as I do in my lunch class. Per that meeting D said he would look for a suitable school that needs my skills. I agreed to this solution. This would mean, as your June 17 written letter stated, MBS releasing me from work.
The “rough housing” event on occurred in a combined class in my EAS 3 class on the afternoon of Thursday, May 29. In the meeting w/ L et al on May 30, and in your subsequent admonishment letter dated June 17, there was no mentioned of the other teacher involved on the May 29 event nor was he admonished for his part in “rough housing.” My class was combined with his students, in his classroom and I got admonished for “rough housing.” Is this fair? The staff meeting on Tuesday, May 27 said no rough games. If a no “rough housing” rule is MBS policy, why did not the other teacher get a warning or placed on probation for his involvement? Why wasn’t he talked to about it? In fact, I was told that he got an apology from J. This makes it seem that the “rough housing” policy applies only to me. This is inconsistent and sends a confusing message to staff for meting out punishment at will. If the rule just applied to me, that’s fine, but the meeting was for all staff so that means all are included. I was obviously singled out. This creates a hostile work environment (for me) when someone is singled out for behaviors while others are not.
That event of May 29 makes me think that J may be personally upset with me, outside of work with non-related work issues which may have caused him to single me out for the May 29th event. I personally don’t know if this is true but if he does feel some ill will towards me, then I think he should just have told me. Maybe that would explain why I was singled out. I know other teachers have had games that involve physical activities and some “rough housing” but they don’t get caught.
The follow up to the May 30th meeting slated for June 13th, never happened nor was there any contact from management about re-scheduling it with me. I know that J was here that day because I spoke to him in front of the post office after he had come back from a doctor’s visit. If management means what they say, shouldn’t they not miss a meeting? And, if there were problems meeting with me that day, there should have been an email to re-schedule. It wasn’t clear if I was still on probation which ended on June 13 or not. I think it's management's responsibility to clarify and follow through on details such as this.
In J’s second letter of admonishment dated Tuesday, June 17, he did not like that I had negative comments about students. In an email I sent to J dated June 5, I was told him that my lunch class is too “unsettled to play any sort of game play” and that “they don't listen; they run around and when they do play games, they argue and yell.” And “they listen really well to Helen but she needs to raise her voice constantly over the din of noise.” Then on June 10, I wrote to J in an email that during my lunch class “I had to call in (lady's name) to calm [them] down the lunch hour class. Jack and Harry were particularly loud today and were not good students today according to tara .”
I have a right to complain to the Director, that I am frustrated with my lunch class behavior especially when students create a non-learning environment for all. If I have negative comments about them then he should know. Around Tuesday, June 16 I was telling a teacher in the staff area downstairs that our student, named Harry, threw his chopsticks and spoon case at me for no apparent reason during lunch. Why should I accept such behavior? Why should a student like Harry not get a call to his mom? The teacher takes it too personally—it’s not her fault. Of course I would have negative comments about students who treat me this way!
Also, I think that the Teacher Partner is overwhelmed with our lunch class. She constantly needs to yell at them to have them settled down and though she does a good job at controlling the kids, they are very wild and under the influence of several “bad” students including Harry and Jack.
In the letter of June 17, I was not making a statement about another teacher’s performance in the classroom; that was taken out of context. I was telling the other teacher that her student was acting up. It’s not the teacher’s fault for Harry’s behavior. She got upset about it because on other occasions, I’ve told her about other student’s behavior, like Jack and Joshua’s. I’ve personally told her about their behavior and even a few parents wrote about Jack’s behavior affecting their son/daughter’s learning in those red MBS books the kids take home.
I still don’t know what J is referring to in his letter of June 17 about “rudely stating that” I had work to do. It was vague... I know that I was venting that I had work to do for a class to do but I don’t think I was being rude. And what did I say? Who did I say it to? What was the context?
I don’t understand what J wrote about “Do no speak to J about what I do in the classroom.” What does this mean? Please clarify.
I appreciate D looking for a school for me but I don’t think it is such a good idea now. In the June 17 letter is says that I “will be leaving” MBS. This means that I am being released or terminated. Please clarify. Thank you.
Best regards,
Matthew
First, here is the letter I wrote to them in response to two letters the Director wrote me on May 30 and June 17.
J=Director D=Owner L=Other big wig person
Letter Number One
Sent on Fri, 6/20/08, Matt Palmer <> wrote:
From: Matt Palmer
To: Director and Owner
Friday, June 20, 2008
To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this letter to clarify my thoughts and position on what has transpired between me, staff and management at MBESL (MBS) before and during my probation. Please read it as factual. It is not meant to place any party on the defense; it is merely explaining events, as they unfolded, and my feelings—as I hope to convey—in an assessment of myself and MBS over the past few months. It is also written to show some inconsistencies of admonishment and offer solutions, when possible.
In our meeting on Friday, May 30 the subject was my admonishment for my classroom act on May 29. During the meeting with J, D and L, I think D was correct in his assessment about my teaching preferences; I do prefer teaching older students, middle school and above. Although my IEP3 of ten/eleven year olds is generally good and their high English learning ability great, they are sometimes incredibly “bratty” and act spoiled. My KP class is fun but I think I prefer teaching older kids and less “baby sitting” as I do in my lunch class. Per that meeting D said he would look for a suitable school that needs my skills. I agreed to this solution. This would mean, as your June 17 written letter stated, MBS releasing me from work.
The “rough housing” event on occurred in a combined class in my EAS 3 class on the afternoon of Thursday, May 29. In the meeting w/ L et al on May 30, and in your subsequent admonishment letter dated June 17, there was no mentioned of the other teacher involved on the May 29 event nor was he admonished for his part in “rough housing.” My class was combined with his students, in his classroom and I got admonished for “rough housing.” Is this fair? The staff meeting on Tuesday, May 27 said no rough games. If a no “rough housing” rule is MBS policy, why did not the other teacher get a warning or placed on probation for his involvement? Why wasn’t he talked to about it? In fact, I was told that he got an apology from J. This makes it seem that the “rough housing” policy applies only to me. This is inconsistent and sends a confusing message to staff for meting out punishment at will. If the rule just applied to me, that’s fine, but the meeting was for all staff so that means all are included. I was obviously singled out. This creates a hostile work environment (for me) when someone is singled out for behaviors while others are not.
That event of May 29 makes me think that J may be personally upset with me, outside of work with non-related work issues which may have caused him to single me out for the May 29th event. I personally don’t know if this is true but if he does feel some ill will towards me, then I think he should just have told me. Maybe that would explain why I was singled out. I know other teachers have had games that involve physical activities and some “rough housing” but they don’t get caught.
The follow up to the May 30th meeting slated for June 13th, never happened nor was there any contact from management about re-scheduling it with me. I know that J was here that day because I spoke to him in front of the post office after he had come back from a doctor’s visit. If management means what they say, shouldn’t they not miss a meeting? And, if there were problems meeting with me that day, there should have been an email to re-schedule. It wasn’t clear if I was still on probation which ended on June 13 or not. I think it's management's responsibility to clarify and follow through on details such as this.
In J’s second letter of admonishment dated Tuesday, June 17, he did not like that I had negative comments about students. In an email I sent to J dated June 5, I was told him that my lunch class is too “unsettled to play any sort of game play” and that “they don't listen; they run around and when they do play games, they argue and yell.” And “they listen really well to Helen but she needs to raise her voice constantly over the din of noise.” Then on June 10, I wrote to J in an email that during my lunch class “I had to call in (lady's name) to calm [them] down the lunch hour class. Jack and Harry were particularly loud today and were not good students today according to tara .”
I have a right to complain to the Director, that I am frustrated with my lunch class behavior especially when students create a non-learning environment for all. If I have negative comments about them then he should know. Around Tuesday, June 16 I was telling a teacher in the staff area downstairs that our student, named Harry, threw his chopsticks and spoon case at me for no apparent reason during lunch. Why should I accept such behavior? Why should a student like Harry not get a call to his mom? The teacher takes it too personally—it’s not her fault. Of course I would have negative comments about students who treat me this way!
Also, I think that the Teacher Partner is overwhelmed with our lunch class. She constantly needs to yell at them to have them settled down and though she does a good job at controlling the kids, they are very wild and under the influence of several “bad” students including Harry and Jack.
In the letter of June 17, I was not making a statement about another teacher’s performance in the classroom; that was taken out of context. I was telling the other teacher that her student was acting up. It’s not the teacher’s fault for Harry’s behavior. She got upset about it because on other occasions, I’ve told her about other student’s behavior, like Jack and Joshua’s. I’ve personally told her about their behavior and even a few parents wrote about Jack’s behavior affecting their son/daughter’s learning in those red MBS books the kids take home.
I still don’t know what J is referring to in his letter of June 17 about “rudely stating that” I had work to do. It was vague... I know that I was venting that I had work to do for a class to do but I don’t think I was being rude. And what did I say? Who did I say it to? What was the context?
I don’t understand what J wrote about “Do no speak to J about what I do in the classroom.” What does this mean? Please clarify.
I appreciate D looking for a school for me but I don’t think it is such a good idea now. In the June 17 letter is says that I “will be leaving” MBS. This means that I am being released or terminated. Please clarify. Thank you.
Best regards,
Matthew
Tutoring in Korea
On Monday I was sitting outside Coffee Bean at HomePlus in Yongtong, a large urban area of Suwon, South Korea. Good shopping, restaurants line the streets. Cafes and their ilk line the darkened alleys on the slippery side of Suwon. Sipping my $4.00 iced coffee and reading “Groove” magazine under a large outdoor umbrella, a strange Korean man, in his late thirties, started talking to me.
“Hello,” he asked. He disturbed my thinking; I came to like leaving a dream.
“Yes?” I said. He was carrying a plastic shopping bag.
“I would like to speak English with you,” he said.
“Hi, sure… sit down,” I replied. He was dressed in dark grey slacks, white shirt, tucked in with a new or unused black belt. It was hot but he was not sweating, the way Koreans don’t sweat or even smell after sweating. They smell like garlic and kim chi, sometimes. It’s not strange to have Koreans want to practice their Korean with westerners. I took this as part of my adventure in Korea.
We talked small talk. It was a bit uncomfortable for him. He would shift in his sit trying to find a position. I positioned myself at a 45 degree angle to him and maintained eye contact and asked questions about what he wanted to accomplish in his English study with me not knowing if I wanted to teach him at all.
“My English is okay but I want to improve,” he said. His English accent was good, his pronunciation good--in the way that Koreans enunciate. I could tell he was educated but not sure of his background. “I want to work on idioms. And improve my English.”
“What do you do?” I asked always a good introduction to someone.
He mumbled.
“Are you in business?” I asked again. “Education?”
He replied: “I am interested in making a place to help old people…”
I asked what he meant. I quickly figured out that he was not working. “A Korean man not working?” I thought to myself. Something is odd about that. In fact, Korea still has a dichotomy of men working, and women raising the family. A one-tier system which is great for raising kids—no strangers from Mexico or Latin America as illegal nannies, entrusted with the delicate care of your son or daughter-- but Korean men work insufferable hours and are expected to socialize and drink, a lot. The upsides are better, I think, for now.
“I want to make a campus,” he continued. “It will help them learn…”
“Like a school?” I asked. “You want to create a school?”
“I want to make a campus. Teaching the bible.”
“Ah, I see. You want to start a church?.”
“This will be a campus to educate people on living…good.”
“Well, this guys a freakin fruit cake,” I thought. “He’s crazy. For Jesus’ sake, why me? Do I have a sign that says: "Will tutor Krazy Koreans?" Go bother someone else.” Well, I had nothing to do at that moment, and wanting to be the friendly foreigner, I was interested in learning more about his church idea and give him a chance to redeem himself.
“Let’s see how you write,” I asked. “I think it will give me a better idea of your language skills. Please write a short paragraph on what you did this past weekend.”
He wrote for five minutes. Jesus!
His paragraph was over half a page. He described going to some Korean mountain where he could “breathe” and had a “vision” of starting his bible campus. “This guy is really waco!” I said to myself. I’m sure there are hundreds of people in Suwon who want to be tutored in business English or to improve their skills but this guy wants me to help improve his English for recruiting neophytes for his cult!
I corrected his grammar and sentence structure. He thought his written English was good but he was wrong. I was nice and showed him how to make his English more strong by rephrasing and making his sentences more succinct; unlike this piece I am writing.
We talked more. I told him I may have time to tutor him. He gave me his number; I gave him my co-workers cell phone number, hope he doesn’t mind helping starting a cult! Hehe.
“Hello,” he asked. He disturbed my thinking; I came to like leaving a dream.
“Yes?” I said. He was carrying a plastic shopping bag.
“I would like to speak English with you,” he said.
“Hi, sure… sit down,” I replied. He was dressed in dark grey slacks, white shirt, tucked in with a new or unused black belt. It was hot but he was not sweating, the way Koreans don’t sweat or even smell after sweating. They smell like garlic and kim chi, sometimes. It’s not strange to have Koreans want to practice their Korean with westerners. I took this as part of my adventure in Korea.
We talked small talk. It was a bit uncomfortable for him. He would shift in his sit trying to find a position. I positioned myself at a 45 degree angle to him and maintained eye contact and asked questions about what he wanted to accomplish in his English study with me not knowing if I wanted to teach him at all.
“My English is okay but I want to improve,” he said. His English accent was good, his pronunciation good--in the way that Koreans enunciate. I could tell he was educated but not sure of his background. “I want to work on idioms. And improve my English.”
“What do you do?” I asked always a good introduction to someone.
He mumbled.
“Are you in business?” I asked again. “Education?”
He replied: “I am interested in making a place to help old people…”
I asked what he meant. I quickly figured out that he was not working. “A Korean man not working?” I thought to myself. Something is odd about that. In fact, Korea still has a dichotomy of men working, and women raising the family. A one-tier system which is great for raising kids—no strangers from Mexico or Latin America as illegal nannies, entrusted with the delicate care of your son or daughter-- but Korean men work insufferable hours and are expected to socialize and drink, a lot. The upsides are better, I think, for now.
“I want to make a campus,” he continued. “It will help them learn…”
“Like a school?” I asked. “You want to create a school?”
“I want to make a campus. Teaching the bible.”
“Ah, I see. You want to start a church?.”
“This will be a campus to educate people on living…good.”
“Well, this guys a freakin fruit cake,” I thought. “He’s crazy. For Jesus’ sake, why me? Do I have a sign that says: "Will tutor Krazy Koreans?" Go bother someone else.” Well, I had nothing to do at that moment, and wanting to be the friendly foreigner, I was interested in learning more about his church idea and give him a chance to redeem himself.
“Let’s see how you write,” I asked. “I think it will give me a better idea of your language skills. Please write a short paragraph on what you did this past weekend.”
He wrote for five minutes. Jesus!
His paragraph was over half a page. He described going to some Korean mountain where he could “breathe” and had a “vision” of starting his bible campus. “This guy is really waco!” I said to myself. I’m sure there are hundreds of people in Suwon who want to be tutored in business English or to improve their skills but this guy wants me to help improve his English for recruiting neophytes for his cult!
I corrected his grammar and sentence structure. He thought his written English was good but he was wrong. I was nice and showed him how to make his English more strong by rephrasing and making his sentences more succinct; unlike this piece I am writing.
We talked more. I told him I may have time to tutor him. He gave me his number; I gave him my co-workers cell phone number, hope he doesn’t mind helping starting a cult! Hehe.
2Pac or two forks
One of my students in lunch class today, call her Angel, was very excited to show me her two new forks. These are kids forks. Small, plastic handles metal prongs with some “cool” cartoon character on it—is there research to support that kids really like cartoon characters on forks or is it the brain washing of the parents think that the kids would go crazy over forks? Some of you know that I help assist in the constant clean up of rice on the floor and the daily yell fest at Jack and Harry to either sit down and or to stop running around. Anyway, she says to me, “Teacher, 2Pac!”
“What?” I said. I couldn’t believe what I heard. How does she know about 2Pac? She’s a cute, five year old Korean girl in the middle of Korea; where mosquitoes fly, dust never settles and the constant sound of construction and traffic makes you angry and crazy. Does she have a 2Pac character on her backpack or on her fork? Do her parents groove to the angry and disenchanted sounds and lyrics of American Gangsta rap when they’re not busy working 12 hour days and payin (payin!!) $800 a month for their Angel to attend an elitist Canadian English school?
I asked her again. She says, “two pac.” Oh, I think: Two forks. She’s saying two forks. Hmm. They are nice forks, Angel. I correct her by saying. “Two forks,” and she smiles and goes back to eating slowly, the way kids eat. Can’t bottle or sell that cuteness!
“What?” I said. I couldn’t believe what I heard. How does she know about 2Pac? She’s a cute, five year old Korean girl in the middle of Korea; where mosquitoes fly, dust never settles and the constant sound of construction and traffic makes you angry and crazy. Does she have a 2Pac character on her backpack or on her fork? Do her parents groove to the angry and disenchanted sounds and lyrics of American Gangsta rap when they’re not busy working 12 hour days and payin (payin!!) $800 a month for their Angel to attend an elitist Canadian English school?
I asked her again. She says, “two pac.” Oh, I think: Two forks. She’s saying two forks. Hmm. They are nice forks, Angel. I correct her by saying. “Two forks,” and she smiles and goes back to eating slowly, the way kids eat. Can’t bottle or sell that cuteness!
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Head Cold
Everyone gets sick. Flu, coughs, colds. Then there is the impervious head cold. The sinus congestion, the stuffy nose, the boxes of tissues or the cheap roll of toilet paper, always handy and ready for blowing your nose or other clean up uses! The head cold never abates in its making of mucus. That soft, sticky green and white material that the body seems to over produce like some OPEC production scheme during the long hot, summers!
This past week I’ve had a head cold. It various from congestion in the morning to free and easy breathing in the afternoon. A few nights of interrupted sleep, lots of water and fluids, going to the gym and some late nights eating McDonald's ice cream with a friend has helped it except in the area of mucus. Yes, blog reader, mucus. It’s disgusting and my Western body is over producing it like a mad OPEC Sheik hell bent on flooding American with its sticky and green viscous fluid in hopes of causing a shortage of tissue paper in the vicinity of Korea! Buy your Kleenex stock now! This is not a spam fax warning!
I blow my nose, then I blow it again and again, my ears feel like I am coming up from a long dive in the ocean. The air and sound become clearer until…I blow my nose again! Wow! I’ve never had some much mucus! I must say it’s pretty disgusting, really. It’s a normal color, in case you’re worried or not, but nonetheless, the abundance is so great that I need to share with you my mucus memories from my nose membranes!
In Korea people are helpful. It’s part of their culture and when you go to a supermarket or shop, they follow you, they help you, they talk to you. It’s great only…when Palmer needs to release the mucus--he doesn’t want to be bothered. I find a quiet corner and blow my nose. But there’s so many people here! They followed me to the corner! Oh, blog reader. I just want to blow in piece. It’s not normal blowing, after all I have a head cold, but a long, drawn out drone of gooey snot that evacuates my nose in spurts of white, messy goo! Yuck. They say that sneezing mimics the human organism well; blowing my nose is a close second. I feel a gigantic release; endorphins are on a postal rage, my wet napkin filled and easily useable for a giant spit ball; my lungs heave and relax followed by a feeling of peace. But in Korea I can’t have peace or a proper release because they want to be where the action is! I just want solitude during my nose moment, really. They want to help; tissues are offered even a cup of tea. My students have impeccable timing and finish their difficult assignment just when I am in the middle of my first nose evacuation. I turn my back; they turn with me. “Teacher, I’m finished” they yell. “great, great,” I say, “please sit down, I am trying to blow my nose!.” They make little comments, as they should, they run away, as they should. Snot is a messy clean up production!
Today’s snot report is fair to midland. It’s good. I don’t feel sick. Mucus is normal but a lot. After a bike ride to my job, it is really a fun event when I rush to the supply room with a half a roll of toilet paper and let it go! You could me say the occasional, “that’s disgusting” or “wow, that’s amazing” coming from deep in the supply room. The part time grandmother, our lunch lady who fixes the kids lunches, rushes in for my status and well being. “I’m okay,” I tell her. She walks away disappointed or something. I hurt her feelings, possibly.
This past week I’ve had a head cold. It various from congestion in the morning to free and easy breathing in the afternoon. A few nights of interrupted sleep, lots of water and fluids, going to the gym and some late nights eating McDonald's ice cream with a friend has helped it except in the area of mucus. Yes, blog reader, mucus. It’s disgusting and my Western body is over producing it like a mad OPEC Sheik hell bent on flooding American with its sticky and green viscous fluid in hopes of causing a shortage of tissue paper in the vicinity of Korea! Buy your Kleenex stock now! This is not a spam fax warning!
I blow my nose, then I blow it again and again, my ears feel like I am coming up from a long dive in the ocean. The air and sound become clearer until…I blow my nose again! Wow! I’ve never had some much mucus! I must say it’s pretty disgusting, really. It’s a normal color, in case you’re worried or not, but nonetheless, the abundance is so great that I need to share with you my mucus memories from my nose membranes!
In Korea people are helpful. It’s part of their culture and when you go to a supermarket or shop, they follow you, they help you, they talk to you. It’s great only…when Palmer needs to release the mucus--he doesn’t want to be bothered. I find a quiet corner and blow my nose. But there’s so many people here! They followed me to the corner! Oh, blog reader. I just want to blow in piece. It’s not normal blowing, after all I have a head cold, but a long, drawn out drone of gooey snot that evacuates my nose in spurts of white, messy goo! Yuck. They say that sneezing mimics the human organism well; blowing my nose is a close second. I feel a gigantic release; endorphins are on a postal rage, my wet napkin filled and easily useable for a giant spit ball; my lungs heave and relax followed by a feeling of peace. But in Korea I can’t have peace or a proper release because they want to be where the action is! I just want solitude during my nose moment, really. They want to help; tissues are offered even a cup of tea. My students have impeccable timing and finish their difficult assignment just when I am in the middle of my first nose evacuation. I turn my back; they turn with me. “Teacher, I’m finished” they yell. “great, great,” I say, “please sit down, I am trying to blow my nose!.” They make little comments, as they should, they run away, as they should. Snot is a messy clean up production!
Today’s snot report is fair to midland. It’s good. I don’t feel sick. Mucus is normal but a lot. After a bike ride to my job, it is really a fun event when I rush to the supply room with a half a roll of toilet paper and let it go! You could me say the occasional, “that’s disgusting” or “wow, that’s amazing” coming from deep in the supply room. The part time grandmother, our lunch lady who fixes the kids lunches, rushes in for my status and well being. “I’m okay,” I tell her. She walks away disappointed or something. I hurt her feelings, possibly.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Update on my probation
Hello again from Korea. The Land of the Morning Calm to the uninitiated, intentionally or not. My follow up meeting to my two week probation period ended on Friday last but the Director forgot to meet! Nice management skills, eh blog reader? What does that mean? Who cares. I guess I am in "the clear." No fire in the hole. No admonishment. Nothing.
My other colleagues are a disgruntled bunch, kind reader. One quit, another is looking for another job and will resign upon her contract signing elsewhere; another just hates it but will stay because she needs the cash, one teacher will fulfill her contract duties in late August but hates her students. She only likes seven out of fifty. Not bad odds if you were in Vegas but as a ESL teacher, not so goot (intentionally misspelled to imitate some of the kids pronunciation which is often cute)! They are cute, sometimes.
Bernard and I discussed creating a "hate index" that measures teacher's range of hate from one to ten, ten being most hating of thus job and one being loving it. Most fall in the 8 to 10 range of "hating" it. As you can surmise, morale sucks at the school. It's difficult teaching kids and these kids are often spoiled brats including some of mine. We run a pure, capitalist revenue model at my institute. So, when kids act up and are repeatingly warned not to throw their utensils at Mr. Matthew (that's my teaching moniker, dig?) they are not suitably punished by imprisonment, etc. Anyway, I haven't been blessed with cleaning up poop and I won't because I won't do that shit, no pun from the bun--intended. Holy Hay-Zeus, I am a rhyming poet tonight! My hate level is about five and can shoot up to ten like it did last Friday.
On Friday last I was tired and looking forward to teaching my favorite class, an advance bunch of kids all around 11 years. As a reward for their hard work during the week, I decided to play Uno with them. Those little buggers played one game and then decided to "rig" the deck so that everyone won the game except me. Much better odds than Vegas but not so cute because they didn't want to play Uno afterwards. That leaves about 45 minutes to keep them occupied. I was tired and wanted to play games but I won't reward them on Friday's anymore. They were ultra bratty on Friday.
One of my goals coming to Korea was to save money. I am saving money here and I still plan to go to graduate school next year and now that Yanne is in my life, I am not grumpy in spite of my fluctuating level of hate.
My other colleagues are a disgruntled bunch, kind reader. One quit, another is looking for another job and will resign upon her contract signing elsewhere; another just hates it but will stay because she needs the cash, one teacher will fulfill her contract duties in late August but hates her students. She only likes seven out of fifty. Not bad odds if you were in Vegas but as a ESL teacher, not so goot (intentionally misspelled to imitate some of the kids pronunciation which is often cute)! They are cute, sometimes.
Bernard and I discussed creating a "hate index" that measures teacher's range of hate from one to ten, ten being most hating of thus job and one being loving it. Most fall in the 8 to 10 range of "hating" it. As you can surmise, morale sucks at the school. It's difficult teaching kids and these kids are often spoiled brats including some of mine. We run a pure, capitalist revenue model at my institute. So, when kids act up and are repeatingly warned not to throw their utensils at Mr. Matthew (that's my teaching moniker, dig?) they are not suitably punished by imprisonment, etc. Anyway, I haven't been blessed with cleaning up poop and I won't because I won't do that shit, no pun from the bun--intended. Holy Hay-Zeus, I am a rhyming poet tonight! My hate level is about five and can shoot up to ten like it did last Friday.
On Friday last I was tired and looking forward to teaching my favorite class, an advance bunch of kids all around 11 years. As a reward for their hard work during the week, I decided to play Uno with them. Those little buggers played one game and then decided to "rig" the deck so that everyone won the game except me. Much better odds than Vegas but not so cute because they didn't want to play Uno afterwards. That leaves about 45 minutes to keep them occupied. I was tired and wanted to play games but I won't reward them on Friday's anymore. They were ultra bratty on Friday.
One of my goals coming to Korea was to save money. I am saving money here and I still plan to go to graduate school next year and now that Yanne is in my life, I am not grumpy in spite of my fluctuating level of hate.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
A weekend in Taipei
Hello again mighty blog readers of new and old. I spent the best weekend of my life in May of 2008 in Taipei connecting again with Yanne. Yanne and her mom were there vacationing Asia, a world tour of sorts meeting with relatives and enjoying themselves from China to Hong Kong to Macau and Taiwan. The flight from Seoul, Korea to Taipei, Taiwan is about two hours. It was a perfect weekend "get away" for the most important moment in my life, to meet with Yanne again. Dramatic!
Here are some pictures!
Here are some pictures!
Probation, parole are they the same in Korea?
Some of you may know that the school placed me on probation or is it parole? Parole is after you serve in prison which may be an apt analogy working for this language institute the past month or two. Its management is not very good and if you go by the other teacher's low morale, they are waiting for their sentences to end and released for home.
I am on probation. I will meet with the owner, directors and a Seoul administrator this Friday or possibly earlier to decide my fate at the unnamed aforementioned language institute of Suwon, South Korea.
Last week the director didn't like my kids playing games because the danger that they could hurt themselves. When two classes of 15 students combine, they get loud and a little rowdy. Andrew, a student of mine and a girl from Bernard's class (he's another teacher) were play wrestling, kicking each other during a combined class play time. Bernard and I sometimes combine classes so the kids can play games. Andrew and his crush were lightly kicking each other and having fun when the director walked in and threw a fit. White men never look good angry; they look like tomatoes. So, I am on probation. Or is it parole? Bernard did not get reprimanded. We were playing games in his classroom with his students and his girl student was one of the culprits that got me busted for "rough housing." Later that week the director apologized to Bernard for raising his voice and disrupting his class. That was nice of him!
The owner is looking to place me in another school who needs a teacher. I may transfer to another school or be asked to leave or knowing the history of this institute, get a slap on the wrist. If I am not fired, I may just give my resignation notice. It takes a lot of resources to secure a new teacher especially in Suwon, not the most popular city of Korea. I think management will not secure me another job which will mean that I stay, give notice to leave or they fire me, sending me back to Los Angeles, a little earlier than planned.
On a related item, I went to Taipei last weekend to meet with Yanne and her mom. Yanne and I are now planning our lives together and we may live in Korea or Taiwan or even China. If I am still in Korea, she may come and live with me or both of us jet to Taipei or Beijing to teach, learn the language and be together for a wonderful adventure. She is thinking of all options as she is in a career transition. I can't tell you how excited I am that she is in my life!! It's unbelievable!! She is the most beautiful woman in the world!!
I've posted my resume for jobs in Taipei. Stay tuned.
I am on probation. I will meet with the owner, directors and a Seoul administrator this Friday or possibly earlier to decide my fate at the unnamed aforementioned language institute of Suwon, South Korea.
Last week the director didn't like my kids playing games because the danger that they could hurt themselves. When two classes of 15 students combine, they get loud and a little rowdy. Andrew, a student of mine and a girl from Bernard's class (he's another teacher) were play wrestling, kicking each other during a combined class play time. Bernard and I sometimes combine classes so the kids can play games. Andrew and his crush were lightly kicking each other and having fun when the director walked in and threw a fit. White men never look good angry; they look like tomatoes. So, I am on probation. Or is it parole? Bernard did not get reprimanded. We were playing games in his classroom with his students and his girl student was one of the culprits that got me busted for "rough housing." Later that week the director apologized to Bernard for raising his voice and disrupting his class. That was nice of him!
The owner is looking to place me in another school who needs a teacher. I may transfer to another school or be asked to leave or knowing the history of this institute, get a slap on the wrist. If I am not fired, I may just give my resignation notice. It takes a lot of resources to secure a new teacher especially in Suwon, not the most popular city of Korea. I think management will not secure me another job which will mean that I stay, give notice to leave or they fire me, sending me back to Los Angeles, a little earlier than planned.
On a related item, I went to Taipei last weekend to meet with Yanne and her mom. Yanne and I are now planning our lives together and we may live in Korea or Taiwan or even China. If I am still in Korea, she may come and live with me or both of us jet to Taipei or Beijing to teach, learn the language and be together for a wonderful adventure. She is thinking of all options as she is in a career transition. I can't tell you how excited I am that she is in my life!! It's unbelievable!! She is the most beautiful woman in the world!!
I've posted my resume for jobs in Taipei. Stay tuned.
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