Why the holidays suck

Yes, blog readers, it's the holiday season of 2008 and Palmer is all Bah Hum Bug! I am fortunate enough that I don't celebrate any religious holiday and can be exempt from the obligatory gift giving and receiving! Ho ho ho. It's good to feel this way, my kind blog readers. I like not participating in gift exchanges with relatives I don't like and who don't like me. It makes the holiday parties I go to much less tense and this year I haven't seen anyone I don't like simply because-- no one invited me to their holiday party. What a relief! I don't need to feel uncomfortable. The fake "Merry Christmas" or the disingenious "Happy New Year." I don't like pretending or faking my feelings. I do hope my good friends and family members had a fun holiday break but otherwise, don't invite me to your party unless you want to be brought down into a dark...damp...depressive state! Yes! Palmer is the "Holiday Cooler" for hire! For a $125 fee, you can hire me to use my charm to disarm your holiday party and send your guests home!

My whinny nephew Daniel

The other day I sent my nephew Daniel some birthday toys through the trusty ole US mail. He got them in time and played with them and discovered problems with each item.

When I spoke to him on his birthday, he gave me the litany of woes for each item. The first toy, a silicon based Squishy Pig Head, which I bought in Korea, is to be thrown against smooth surfaces. You throw it against a desk, for example, and wham! The pig head becomes flat and then pops up again. He obviously went animal on it, and it now leaks water.

The second gift, a handmade wooden spin top, which you can see a picture of it being made on this blog, needed vast assembly of the rope to the pully. It required a grown up to put it together. The third gift, a lego-like racer car from Korea, did not assembly fully because the plastic driver's head did not sit correctly. Oh, well. I thought they were fun gifts that he would enjoy.

My mom bought him an expensive Lego set and sent it to him via US mail. She purchased the last number in a special Lego series, which my nephew is currently at number five. He hopes to collect all eight. When I spoke to him, he sounded disappointed because she did not go in the order of the series. He was perturbed that she skipped ahead a few numbers.

I guess I am disappointed in his attitude towards his birthday gifts. Maybe this is the mark of a spoiled kid. He's hard to read over the phone and I haven't seen him in a few years either. My brother says he was happy with his gifts but my observations deny this.

FerLease Navidad

Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad. Ferlease Navidad...I want to wish you a merry christmas. I want to wish you a merry christmas. And may your business not go!

Maple Bear up to it's old tricks

I hear about news from the front lines of Maple Bear, in Suwon, Korea from time to time. The latest in Maple Bear centers on management. Currently, they are asking the teacher/s to smile more often. It sounds like some parents were complaining that some teachers look miserable. Duh! Try working there you wing-nuts!

There was a meeting with the Korean director and the owner where they told the teacher/s to smile more because their sour smirks are damaging their school's image! I also heard that they were thinking of firing someone but asked him to stay on instead for another month or two. He may have been fired earlier except four of us were leaving in August!

The ultra-sensitive, fat one left for some Latin country, thoroughly disgusted with Korean staff, teachers and kids. She made my friend's life not so good with her constant "c$@@t blocking" of her female friend and him. The tall, string bean one, who wouldn't stop her freakin noisy stomping in her apartment above me for months, was fisnishing her contract; the quiet, angry one had quit and me, the Maple Bear unruly one, was being canned--all within the month of August. They couldn't afford to lose one more teacher!

KXLU Los Angeles 88.9FM

Hello blog readers. In 2007 during Loyola Marymount's (LMU) FM radio drive, I donated $29 to kxlu for my cool black tee shirt. I love that station. They play "alternative" radio stuff. I don't know what alternative means anymore, do you? Their Friday evening show at 6pm is a staple in my music diet. Demolisten was a show that Van Halen sent their demo tape to be played on the radio for the first time, so long ago...

When I was in Korea, I would down load Demolisten in it's 50 mega byte splendor to be listened to over and over again during the week. I left it on the computer over there at Maple Bear. Maybe someone who uses my computer will be turned on to. Anyways, I never got my tee shirt during their pledge drive in November of 2007. As I was preparing for my move to Korea thereafter, I didn't bother at all and finally, when I left for Korea in Feb of 2008, I didn't think about it.

In June of 2008 while still in Korea, I emailed them. When I got back from Korea in August, I still haven't received my pledge tee shirt. I followed up and up and up. Finally, after a year, in Dec 2008, I got my tee shirt! I had to go to the big boss to make it happen. That lilliputian of a station manager, Lauren Villa, is just too cool to care. I took this personally. Look at my emails to her.

----- Original Message ----
From: villa
Sent: Thursday, June 12, 2008 5:15:05 AM
Subject: KXLU fundraizer request/question

Dear Mr. Palmer,

I will definately get this taken care of as soon as possible!

--
Villa
KXLU General Manager

--- On Tue, 6/24/08, Mack Palmer wrote:

Subject: Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question
To: "villa"
Date: Tuesday, June 24, 2008, 3:42 AM

Hi Lauren,

Just following up. Any word? Thanks

~Matt
--- On Fri, 9/19/08, Mack Palmer wrote:

From: Mack Palmer
Subject: Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question
To: "villa"
Date: Friday, September 19, 2008, 2:46 PM

Hi ,

I got back to Los Angeles and had a note to follow up on this. Please let me know the status. Thank you.

~Matt

On Thu, Sep 25, 2008 at 12:03 PM, Mack Palmer wrote:

Hi,

I've been patient with this and given you ample time to correct the situation. I don't know if you received my last email on 9/19/08, but you need to contact me and communicate and resolve this issue. Thank you.

~Matt

--- On Thu, 9/25/08, lauren villa wrote:

From: villa
Subject: Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question
Date: Thursday, September 25, 2008, 7:05 PM

I am very, very sorry we're in the middle of our current fundrazor right now. I will get back to you very, very soon. I'd like to know the amount your pledged and the premium you are waiting for and we will rectify this. I am sorry it has taken so long, but we're very busy. I will fix this soon.

-


Around 9/25/08

Hi,

I pledged for the Tee-shirt (large). Thank you

~Matt

Sent: Monday, December 01, 2008 7:55 AM
To: , Lydia
Subject: Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question

Dear Ms. Ammossow,

I've been waiting for my KXLU gift (a tee shirt) for almost a year now. Could you please find a way to resolve this? I think Ms. Villa is too busy to take care of this issue. Thank you.

Best Regards,

Matthew Palmer

RE: KXLU fundraizer request/question
Ammossow, Lydia"
December 1, 2008 9:56:08 AM
To:M Palmer

I am SO sorry! I will look into this ASAP & get back to you!

Re: KXLU fundraizer request/question
M Palmer
sent: December 8, 2008

Hi Ms. Ammossow,

I got them! Thank you for the extra Tees!

Now that [this] issue has been successfully resolved by you, could you please tell me, because I'm really curious, why Lauren acted this way? I have several theories in my mind why this happened and wanted to match them with her reason behind her lateness. I would really like an explanation that is not sugar coated or presented in a manner which hides anything. Could you please explain? Thank you.

~Matt

Yes, blog reader, I really want to follow this thread even further. I obviously have a lot of time on my hands. And to delve into the mind of a busy 20 something (I'm guessing) who has a really great job/career that is the envy of a lot of LA Hipsters, should be followed through unlike the follow up of my gift! I need closure. Doesn't anyone understand? For a musician like me who has never gotten anywhere in music, being a station manager for a cool FM radio station is very cool. And then comes this dork who hasn't received his pledge gift. Poo poo poo.

The Inland Empire serves bad food

I hope my gf is not mad but she would concur that the food we ate on Saturday, December 6th at a Japanese restaurant in THE INLAND EMPIRE, sucked poo. I have lived in Upland and Claremont for about three years and have an excellent sampling of the Inland Empire's cuisine and can judge that it's big brother or sister AKA L.A. still has better food than it's little brother or sister could dream about.

Yes, yes, yes. The area known as the Inland Empire (Empire) encompasses all the malcontent communities of Pomona, West Covina, Chino Hills and other sad places. It's particularly nice in the Winter when the temperatures don't soar about 79 degrees but foraging for good restaurants is a dismal experience that all should avoid.

The Empire has a huge consolidation of Americana diners and restaurants. You would think that all people do is drive dozen of miles from one Denny's to Chevy's. It's not true, you do find Thai and Chinese food but it's Americanized and not very good. I'm not a foodie by any sort and am still amazed by the lack of decent food in the Empire even after my departure of ten years ago! You'd think in ten years that they would have improved but they haven't. So, the Inland Empire sucks for food choices. Whatca expect from a massive sprawling urban mess of pre-fab houses and desert tundra?

And please don't think I denigrate one to boast the wills of the other. No way. I think that L.A. is not the best city either. The people here are freakin weird and hostile. Sorry, Uncle Ed, your self-enclosed world of Santa Monican urban professionals is too secular and small for the real cross-sampling of L.A. zombie blah people! For example, in Trader Joe's, an employee who serves free samples of coffee and snacks told me that Westsider's give attitude if Trader Joe's sells food with nitrates and hostile if the free coffee is not brewed yet! Believe it!

Why an economic recession is cathartic

As of December 2008 we are in a country wide recession and as far as I can tell, a world recession is on the way. This economic crisis has the makings of a depression because of de-flation of prices, like oil/gas and consumer goods dropping to lower prices over a period of time. This crisis also has a secondary effect: layoffs.

All those workers who were really lazy and unproductive but in normal times you couldn't get rid of them, are now being given the boot. Yes, it's time to fire those lazy asses and become mean and lean. Our country is bloated, now we need to hit the gym, take some steroids, diet and eat lean proteins: we're in training. Rocky would yell, "Adrienne" about now. It would be great it UCLA lay off people who are lazy asses. We all know who THEY are. Besides, these lazy people should be doing something else that makes them feel productive and happy. It's a gift that they are asked to leave. Merry Fuckin Christmas! This reminds me of how de-politicized Christmas has become: we no longer have Christmas Parties but Holiday Parties. These are careful times where so many groups have staked their ideological footings. We should just eliminate holiday parties because it's fake and disingenuous when we try to keep Christian holidays or the Jewish holiday ideologically equal or politically correct with each other.

Where was I? Oh, yeah. Why an economic recession is cathartic? Once we realize how our appetite and greed for consuming and spending has created this mess, our culture will come in a wave of communal release. It might be the sort of an orgasm that made 60,000 chicks cry during the Beatles 1968 Shea Stadium concert or just a huge drunken binge of vomit spewing forth onto the streets by the unemployed. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Anyway, once this recession becomes personal, then peoples' true selves emerge from under the facade of consumerism and status to reveal how consumerist and greedy they are.

Maple Bear woes

I've heard from the grape vine that Maple Bear is declining fast, like North Korea's food supply! Morale is low and new management, after John the American director was canned, wants the ESL teacher's to meet Korean parents, one-on-one, and be a part of the planning for Western style holidays and such. Enrollment is low and some teachers have had their schedules reduced. My old IEP3 class was canceled. All is not well in Suwon.

Although conditions in Korea can be funky and uncomfortable at times for foreign teachers, there are so many benefits that make me appreciate the time I've lived in Korea. For example, the general feeling of safety at night. You can walk or ride your bike without the worry of harassment or impending mugging. The easy hours of work that enable you to often stay up late and socialize with friends or wake up early to experience the "land of the morning calm." To understand the latter, you need to be there and feel it. The lack of stress of owning a car or getting around to your destinations. Korea has excellent and very affordable transportation. The way that Korean people like to eat, drink and share their food with you. Imagine being on a public bus and being offered food or snacks. Never here on the bus here in America! Forgettabout it. The grass is always greener, I suppose, in hindsight.

Toastmasters

I went to a Toastmaster's meeting in November 2008 at UCLA to find out more about the organization. Specifically, I want to learn how to persuade and interest people in hearing my ideas. Toastmaster's has a cool curriculum which builds speaker's skill sets and books to help them reach goals. Plus, you can obtain secondary benefits of building some leadership skills as you volunteer with them in various capacities. And, the elephant in the room, perhaps, is developing and exploiting your contacts to further your career. My goal is to get people interested in my bike rides and get people to listen to my ideas.

Some people are able to engage others and others are likely to follow and join them based upon the personality of the organizer. I am terrible at this. At a family reunion, for example, I spent a lot of time before hand to organize games. I brought them along but my cousin Beth took charge of the events, and, the point of this, people automatically deferred to her, without a second thought or deference to me. Weird. Personally, I prefer working by myself. I don't want to depend on anyone especially since most group work I do, I wind up doing the majority of it myself or wind up feeling angry at the others who flake. Although I am gregarious and social, I am in situations which I am not in a group. You would think that Toastmaster's could help such a "misanthrope" as me.

The first speech I heard was from this guy Larry who told us about his boring trip to Florida. He sweated profusely during his speech which was focused on using vocal inflection to demonstrate "excitedness." He would say things like "it was GREAT that I met with colleagues..." or "it was so AMAZING to see the exhibit..." Anyways, he was prepared and though I didn't learn anything, he got some practice in and to build up his speaking skills.

I came away from the meeting thinking that Toastmaster's is really for people who are totally shy and afraid of speaking in front of anyone. Most of the speeches had the sense of being "inflated" and "too happy" and too self-congratulatory to each member. It was too "feel good" and I think, a bit fake in their transparent efforts to build "self-confidence" in public speaking. It works for people and I think it's a great organization. However, I left feeling unimpressed.

The thing that really bothered me was that the members did not walk around or even greet the four new visitors to their meeting. Oh, sorry, one did and it was so obvious to me that he shook her hand because she was really cute. Otherwise, the other "ugly" ones didn't even get a greeting. You would think that they would remember when they came to their first meeting. I expected them to be welcoming and friendly and they were not. I guess their "self-confidence" is highly correlated to their unfriendliness.

Last week, while I was walking across the street at work, I saw Larry, the guy from Toastmasters!! He five or six feet in front of me. What are the odds of this? I yelled out his name, twice. He didn't even look over his shoulder. He ignored me. And he wasn't wearing head phones. Now, I am even more unimpressed by them. Now, here's the really "small world" weird synchronicity: Larry appeared at a holiday party I was invited to! WTF? I did not have the opportunity to talk to him and I felt if I did, he would start sweating profusely and that would have been embarrassing!

I found other meetings in the area but they are not as convenient for me nor do I think I fall in the category of being shy. I don't think I could stand the way they patronize each other on how great that speech was and how the president of that meeting gave lavish praise on one of the members who barely spoke.

So, fuck toastmasters.

Living in a dump

Yes, blog reader. I am poor. Not the homeless kind or the welfare kind but just the lower middle class kind. I am living in a dumpy apartment with my beautiful gf adjacent to the massive 405 freeway, a never ending sound of engines, dust and exhaust. Despite the 20 foot sound wall, the noise of one or two million engines wheezing north and south is a constant reminder that any dwelling next to the freeway will always attract poor people who are often poor in neighborly relations.

On Sunday morning at 8am, my neighbor, call him Rudy, decides to warm up his 25 year old rust bucket Toyota pick up-- For ten freakin minutes. The sound of the struggling engine and its gaseous exhaust wafers into my bedroom. Ah, reader. Nothing like the sound and smell of an engine to wake me up from a pleasant sleep. I was ready to revel in its odoriferous breeze but I had to pee instead. Later that week I left him a nice note under his shitty wiper blade telling him to quit it. Would this type of behavior happen in the mountainous upscale homes of Bel Air? No.

The "whistler" of apartment 12 is another quaint feature among my neighbor brethren. He has a distinct whistle that he uses to call his friend as he approaches the building. Once inside the apt of his friend, the whistling continues almost like a nervous tick. Do you know anyone who has a facial tick? You watch it and the person knows you are watching it which makes him tick more! Now imagine hearing your neighbor whistle like that and you'll understand how I feel.

Next on the list of living in a certified dump, is the 2am floor "squeaker" from the neighbor above. Since the apt building does not have carpeting, which is good for the asthmatics who live next to the freeway, these old wooden floors creek and squeak like mother fers. Enough to wake me and my gf up. Last month I wrote the "squeaker" a note to stop yakking on the phone at 1am above our bedroom. It wouldn't be so bad if he would stop talking and whining like a little girl. Maybe I am doing that now in this blog?

It seems that being poor is one of the distinct qualities that allow people to be inconsiderate and not thoughtful to others. Of course you can say that the white collar rich are stealing from the poor but that's another blog entry.

The other day someone dropped a SD memory chip on the ground. I found it and placed a note above the mail boxes. No one claimed it. How can you not notice your device memory gone? Do you not read, neighbors? How can you be so complacent and passive about a $45 memory chip with your pictures or music on it? If it was me, I would call.

Last month I found a Motorola Razr cell phone in the alley. It was in a nice carry case. It was used but in okay condition. I open their contact list and last calls dialed and received. I noticed a lot of east coast area codes. Since it was about 8pm PST, I called and left a voice mail with someone explaining how I found the phone and where I found it. It took about three days for the person who lost the phone to finally retrieve it. And he lived in my building!! WTF? If I lost my phone, which I have, I would be one anxious mother fer! What is wrong with my neighbors?

As usual you get an interesting and somewhat eclectic mix of people who have different schedules and lifestyles. I don't think that is very interesting. In fact, it's disruptive. I like my building and neighbors to be quiet, clean and considerate. I don't want to hear people talking loudly, or their TVs barking, seeing their dumb pets pooing, having their children play near my apt, smell their exhaust smoke, having their friends wiping their feet on my door mat, the oily smell of their funky foods nor to have them act like they don't know who I am or nod or say hello in passing.

Work and Career Issues

I was reading a chapter from Po Bronson's wonderful and honest book called What to do with my Life or something like that. It told the story of a few people who decided to live in New Orleans and how their notions of career and identity came to a standstill. Basically, those who were burnt out on being ambitious in high-powered cities like New York found refuge in New Orlean's lifestyle of easy living in the Big Easy. Those who now lived there escaped the rat race however their internal sound track, that voice in their heads, of getting things done and being ambitious were slowed down to a barely audible pitch. They still had longings to better themselves professionally but it was toned down like the begging squeal of an amputated wheel chair bound Veteran on anti-depressants and booze. In other words, if you want a career, you should not live in New Orleans.

In retrospect, I took a six month paid vacation working in a Suwon, Korean hogwan/language institute as a refuge from career issues. I also had that travel itch and a need to do something big and different to shake me out of my rut. That barely audible pitch I heard in Korea is now a clarion bell to get busy and get on a career track that promises a higher level of pay and professional opportunity. Every day I think about what to do with my life and how to get there. I was able to think about it in Korea but now I dwell upon here and I am better for it.

In Korea as in New Orleans (according to Bronson), you are not confronted with this tension to get shit done and pursue your career. Hell, you're in Korea making got money, living a great lifestyle and eating well. Why bother? Here in Los Angeles, however, opportunities are everywhere to create a career you enjoy but the obstacles and hard work can be overwhelming though worth it.

For a good six months I made some excellent cash, saw the world and avoided those nagging career issues. Now that I'm back and planning my future, it is a nasty headache of soul searching. I am experimenting with starting my own college counseling business and recently advertised my administrative services for a fee or commission. No, I am not an escort, you pervs. I'm glad I am doing this now.

Wow! Real humanity v. Fake humanity

Yes, blog reader, Wow! As I type on this clunky Mac computer sitting on my 40 year old steel desk, a relic probably handed down from the engineering department at UCLA 30 years ago, I ponder and think about what happened yesterday on one of my Palmer bike rides. Let's see what these stupid sticking shift keys can make out of this humane event on Sunday and how it compares to corporate fakery in the name of humanity, or some other cultural criticism like that.

As I was "mole-ing out" from my entrenched Westside state of mind to Olympic and Robertson, I stopped to see a struggling pigeon, with a broken wing, hopping madly in the middle of traffic. I quickly pulled over and watched as it would struggle to fly above the cars to only land in front of their pumping ABS brakes. Traffic stopped to allow the hurt pigeon pass only to be narrowly missed by other vehicles who were too impatient or unaware to care. I hopped off my bike and leaned it against a wall. I slowly entered traffic and saw a guy in his MBZ, jump out and pick up the pigeon. He then walked across the street and placed it on the front lawn of one of those 60's style anonymous buildings you see in L.A. He walked back to his car, beaming happily of his goodwill. I even thanked him. His act was genuine. It was human.

This reminds me of something I read in The Starbucks Experience about real people "paying it forward" or backward as they waited in line at the drive through of a starbucks. I know I am sounding like an overly critical a-hole but this nice act of paying for your neighbor's coffee reeks of corporate back room marketing strategy in order to celebrate customers, boost employee morale and sell more starbucks coffee. Creating a corporate atmosphere where it's okay to do this behavior of "paying it forward" makes people use to the cultural action of doing "good" deeds of using money instead of policy. In other words, when you use money it persuades corporations to act nicely when in fact, we should create a world where morals are guiding policies to achieve a better quality of life. It creates a cultural phenomenon where consumers create change using their change and makes corporations think about their impact on the environment. Is this really what we need? Have corporations do "good" when we should just make the shareholders legally responsible for their negative actions?

I can see why many people have a great need for the Church and for religious leaders and church action groups to petition but the churches are failing b/c of this cultural consumerist need to use money to create change when instead, we should use morals based upon laws and progressive policies instead. We need to separate religion from policies, government and corporations. We should not apply human values to organizations that are not legally responsible for their people. We should make corporations legally responsible to ensure that humanity is real and not fake.

The 2008 Presidential Election

In about five days we'll have a new President of the United States. I just heard that my uncle, who has not voted in years, will vote for Obama. Last I heard my gun owning, small militia friendly brother will vote for McCain. Four years from now, with the political frenzy beating its drums again, what will we remember from 2008?

We should do a research poll of all the campaign pledges made by both parties and see how they stack up against each other and against the candidate's performance. I figure about 10 percent promised will happen. Candidates always make sweeping pledges which they can't or don't make and follow up on for the many complex reasons. Right?

All of this is nonsense, really. Who did all those people vote for the last eight years? Bush, Jr. WTF? Is this country crazy? Yes. And if Florida tainted the election process with the Supreme Court's backing, does it matter anyway? If a person falls from a 59 story or 29 story building, they're dead regardless of the height.

Peaceful, easy feeling

Living in Suwon, South Korea you get the feeling of relative safety. It's a great feeling that allows you a lifestyle to ride your bike late at night, go walking with a friend or to ponder universal problems as you walk alone in the calm of Korean night or the hot and crowded afternoon streets near HomePlus.

In Suwon you see children walking home late from their study sessions or classes; ten year old kids with no sense of fear. It's wonderful. You can feel it in your gut, this sense of ease and calm. There are bad people out there but statistically, their numbers are small, like lottery size winnings small. Yes, there are drunk drivers and dark hidden alleys where taxi drivers rocket through but I'm talking about just a peaceful, easy feeling.

In Los Angeles, I live less than a five minute walk to the basket ball courts in a public park. When I walk there I can feel a tension and stress with a scent of danger. Am I imagining this? I tried to explain this feeling but the words were not adequate. What is the litmus test to discover if your city is peaceful and easy then? For me it is riding a bicycle late at night and soaking in the sights and sounds of the neighborhood. I used to do that in Playa del Rey but not in Culver City. It's not a peaceful, easy feeling. The only way to know this feeling is to live in another country and make the comparison, blog readers. I hope that some of you will do this one day.

Why I continue to hate the macintush

Blog readers, you know me well. I'm not dumb but it seems that my continued frustration of using a toy computer makes me smirk and sour and maybe causes me to not see the obvious more! The other day I am in Word and hit F12 on my keyboard. Bam! It gives me a save as window! WTF? I did that before and it didn't work. Maybe my meds have made me woosy; this short cut did not work before, or did it? Shit.

Now, in Mac Mail, I cannot sort by "unread" email messages. WTF!! I hate this computer. Hate it. This is why if you invest in Apple you will lose money! Once you buy the machine, you like it. It's cute and stylish and people swoon over it like a new born. However, when you use it a lot, you will hate it. It's all a facade. Don't fall for it! It's a (Steve) Jobsian magic trick. And he is a hateful person, if you read up on Apple. Even that genius Steve Wozinski continued to work for him after being lied to and cheated out of money by Jobs.

Why I hate using Macintosh computers for work

Hello again kind blog reader/s…it’s been a while. Yes, yes. I’ve been slacking on my writing duties because, as some of you know, I have been looking for a job. Some of you are having withdrawal symptoms, others don’t give a crap and any new or returning reader to this self-indulgent blog, out there in the Internet World, or as I now call it (IW)—look: I need to make some kind of heady acronym for this blog or I will be a has-been, has already become impatient and wants me to get to the point!

In my department at a very large university located in Los Angeles, they use Macintoshes. Most departments here us PCs, loaded with Windows XP. I know some of you love Macs. They’re elegant, easy to use, even fun sometimes. But they are toys. If you’re going to be offended by my criticism, constructive or not, please don’t read on…

Macintoshes belong in cafes where you can sip your Peet’s coffee, surf and send emails or organize your last party or vacation pictures. And if you’re sipping some good coffee from Peet’s using their free wi-fi, then please purchase another cup of coffee. Don’t be a mooch. Anyways, Macs suck and they should be condemned from any office unless you do graphics or movie animation. Sorry, Yanne and Kelly, likers of the Macintosh.

Too Many Cliques

Macintosh users belong the nerd elite of computer literati. PC users are the salt of the earth. Macintosh fanatics are smart and denigrate big corporate types who use PCs. PC users are smart and efficient. PC users have urged Mac users to help people use Macs better for the masses. Macs cost more. PCs cost less.

Sending an email at a certain time

I want to send an email at Sunday, at 4pm when my boss is probably sitting down at her desk, going over her itinerary for Monday. In this email reminder is to ask to bring in her receipts from her business trip. I can’t do this in Mac mail. Junk.

I want to set up an email reminder to myself to follow up on an email from someone else. Can’t do this in Mac mail. Junk.

I just recently learned how to get rid of the printer icon from my Mac dock. Are Mac users disorganized and absent minded? Why have the icon on the dock after you print something? Macintosh has defaced my desktop real estate space! And, it keeps coming back! Junk.

Oh, here’s one of my favorites: sorting my email in Mac mail. My supervisor and I were discussing an upcoming event and I wanted to double check one person’s response. When I clicked on the “from” column, Mac mail sorted by sender’s name but I could not “jump” to the next letter or email using the key pad. Instead, I had to manually scroll down to find the email while an embarrassing number of emails from my girl friend took up screen real estate.
Whatever happened to having a Notepad, a simple application on Mac? It has TextEdit which requires users of GUI to use more mouse clicks to do what Notepad simply has done for 20 years. Mac. Junk.

And for each operation of some software, there seems to be more mouse clicks involved. Whatever happened to hitting the return button to say “yes” or the letter “n” on your keyboard to say “no?” With a mac you need to use the mouse to click on “No” and sometimes the return key works for a “yes.”

When using software I find myself looking for the shortcuts that don’t exist. I want to do a “save as” (F12 on a PC) and the mac requires me to go to the menu and select “save as.” I haven’t found any shortcuts for that and I looked on line too. Blah!

I totally bored you blog readers. I had to rant. I’ve been using Mac OS X for three weeks now and though I am used to it, I don’t like it. Windows. Junk too but at least it works! Blah!

Living the Dream

Today, as our financial markets get bailed out by the U.S. Federal Reserve for about 80 plus billion and the CEO of AIG is replaced by Paulson's Allstate Insurance friend, I think about the crying child in the library and the homeless man at the computer who smells and has layers of dirt on his hands. In the words Larry from my SMC business class of the past, his soles of his shoes flopping and flailing in the wind, are we "living the dream?"

The dream of owning a house without money down? Low interest rates to borrow more than we can pay or afford? Spending billions on a war in Iraq and Afganistan? Are we a healthy society? If we bomb the crap out of the Middle East, will that solve some of our problems? If we become totally independent of foreign oil, will that solve the problem?

Unemployed

Yes, blog reader. The Palmster is unemployed. Hmm. I've had some interviews and I know I will get a job but I would like to work sooner than later. I like working; it makes me feel productive and useful. I mean: how many times can you masturbate in a day anyway? Actually, the time off is in good use. I have fixed the toilet seat, put up a shoe rack, cleaned, done countless loads of laundry (no, I didn't use my socks for anything else than my feet!), meal preparations, shopping and driving my baby to/from work. It's not a vacation by any means. Looking for work is a full time job! The agencies all feel and act incompetent and probably they are all over worked too. They are not doing a good job. This Thursday i will sign up with another one that specializes in the law. I hate law firms. I've done that temp work before and they all reek of troubled people, troubled clients. It's a pay check but is it worth it? I can't burn through my savings. (like that Winehouse song) No, no, no. I can't sit around and smoke grass all day. No, no, no. I have to have a job so I can write songs. I need the money or else: no honey. Uh oh!

Free stuff and the Yakuza

On Sunday Yanne and I saw the Pacino/DeNiro flop called "Righteous Kill." It was about two tired looking actors as detectives Turk and Rooster. They were investigating murders and to keep the plot moving, had gratuitous sex between a young cop who likes it rough and an old cop who does it rough. Boring. Staid. I could imagine how DeNiro and Paciano were signing their contracts thinking how easy money this film would be and not leave New York City to do it! It would of been more interesting to have their stunt doubles acting instead! It could of been a funny parody because both of them haven't done anything worth their acting huevos in a long, long time. I'm not an ageist by any means. Our culture is obsessed and driven by youth and looking young. These giants of cinema have had their successful run and should retire from doing tired scripts, cliche moral dilemmas at the requisite Catholic church and allow their stunt doubles to take unemployment insurance. Afterward, we snook into see "Tropic Thunder" a much better movie and a funny spoof to boot! What a great performance by Robert Downey--his best since Chaplin. I loved him in that other film with Val Kilmer but in "Tropic Thunder" he really was terrific playing an Australian actor who gets surgery to "blacken" his skin in order to play a black American soldier during the Vietnam War. He was in great form! Before I didn't think much of Ben Stiller but I changed my mind: his direction was great. I think it was the script which had Ethan Cohen's help. I liked how the film mocked Hollywood and insecure actors while also talking about acting techniques in a factious way.

Yanne and I enjoyed the free film and why not? We were being opportunists and took advantage of a flaw in AMC cinemas lax security. I don't feel bad paying $11.50 for two films! I felt mischievous and juvenile sneaking into the other film. Is it dishonest? Yes. Is it stealing? Yes. But why don't I care? Am I so disconnected with my actions having financial repercussions to huge corporations? Is it like stealing Post-Its from your job? Hmm.

I saw a trick done in a movie years ago by the Japanese mob or yakuza. A bunch of them would dine out at four or five star restaurants, bring live roaches and other bugs and place them in the food or on the table after their meal for the restaurant manager to see. It worked: their meals were gratis or free. Yesterday, after our two films, Yanne and I dined at the Cheesecake Factory. We were finishing our salad when a small roach ran across our table.I captured the small bugger by placing my tea cup over him. While he was enclosed in his tomb me and Yanne a little worried about our Chinese Chicken salad! Was it in the food? I hope not! I asked a random waiter to have manager walk over as soon as possible. I showed him our "visitor" and told him we were about to order a piece of tiarmusu cheesecake before our "friend" decided to talk a walk on our table. The manager wrapped up the roach in my napkin and took my tea cup away. We got a free meal! The Yakuza trick works! Of course, i didn't bring the roach to the restaurant but it would work elsewhere. Yanne thinks that's dishonest...she's such a party pooper! :)

Eight things I like about Los Angeles...

One blog reader complained to me that I didn't have any positive things to say about L.A. Here are my eight things I really like about L.A.

1. Every body ends their sentences sounding like a question?
2. O.J. is on trial in Las Vegas, Nevada.
3. The LA Times is still a wannabe newspaper.
4. I can see a movie at 9am and pay the bargain price of $6.50 while normal people sleep.
5. I can ride my bicycle at the beach but people on the bike path pose trouble
6. The smog is less volatile than San Bernadino.
7. San Bernardino is not part of L.A.
8. There are very few Korean restaurants

Maple Bear in Suwon

Maple Bear has gotten some of my respect. I heard through an anonymous contact, that the American Director is leaving! He got demoted to a full time teacher! Yeah! I guess HQ read the many complaints about him and the owner of the institute took action! Many people are happy and rejoicing some 6,990 miles from L.A. I send a (90's style) "shout out" to my (80's verbiage) "homies," man! Nice! (pronounced in the Korean way as "Nice-u-A") .

Too bad that other lump of a human being is still there! Ugh. They can't make them any more meaner and uglier than that. And my other nemesis is gone, but you faithful and poised blog reader, knew that already. So many details!! It's a great day!

Back in LA, dude or Eight things I don't like about Los Angeles

Dude, I'm back in L.A. and not loving it here. But I knew that before and after Korea. It's not a surprise. I always feel tension in my stomach! This tension permeates me: it's difficult living here. It's the same feeling I had way before I left. I think a lot of us have it. It is the way of a big city, you got to hustle in the bustle. It's not my mental state or emotional state but the Californian State. hehehe. Although Suwon is a major step below L.A., I did not feel a constant tension. It could be for a number of reasons which I could speculate all day long...

Things I don't like about L.A. and hopefully these won't be used against me for applying to jobs:

1. Tattoos. Why? Doesn't anyone who is not in a gang know the history/purpose of tattoos???

2. Driving. You must drive everywhere.

3. Weather. For Jesus' sake, can't we just have one day of bad weather?

4. Fat people. I see fat people everywhere. Let em eat a Korean diet for a year. Problem solved?

5. Crazy people. I see crazy people everywhere. Why so many of them? And why Korea has so few visible crazy people?

6. Guns. Do you really need five automatics for your five year old kid?

7. Creepy people. Yes, I'm back to the people here. I 'm standing in line at Big Five sporting goods and three creepy people come in and give me a really creepy vibe. I never had a creepy vibe from people in Korea though I went to some places which I obviously didn't belong. Maybe I did not learn the Korean Kreepy Vibe they have?

8. Republicans. For Jesus' sake! Sorry, the DSMIV should list Republicans as a disease. Has big government gotten smaller since their tenure? Have corruptions been abated? Has war ended? Has oil interests declined? Has Orange County, California become "normal?" No.

That's eight reasons to hate L.A. Have any of your own?

I miss my students

Hello blog readers! I dreamed about my cute students this week. Little Euro, Emma and a few others from my kinder and lunch classes. It made me sad! I miss them. I don't miss Suwon or Maple Bear but I miss my favorite kinder kids.

I thought about shipping them some candies to the school and having the new teacher give them the treats during snack time or lunch but I think that would make them feel sad and miss me. It's best not to contact them. I know they're okay and having fun. It's funny how they grew on me.

I can still hear Euro's voice say "I know that you know." She would say that, often in response to me saying, "I know..." Sometimes she would pretend that she didn't understand the assignment and I had to sit down next to her and help her. Or how Emma would stand behind me and mimic my moves while I would look for her in the classroom knowing that she is behind me! Or Sunny's cute way of speaking Korean and English in one sentence and communicating really well at that! Or how the kids during lunch would be so excited when I sat down and ate with them, talking to them. Hmm. My kids!

Palmer in LA

Hello blog reader. Thought I've given up on this blog, didn't you? I made it back to LaLa Land: nothing has changed. It's still smoggy, crowded and filled with fake people. But you knew that. On the bright side of my return, I am happy to be in my baby's arms each morning and night! We just had a fun weekend in Newport, CA. I am happy to see my mom. She's doing well. Yes, blog reader, I have a mom and wasn't hatched as some sort of X-files experiment. 

My days are going well. I'm still applying for jobs but no interviews yet. I did my first load of laundry last night! Wow! Nice, clean laundry with that fresh dryer scent! I've had good Italian food with no corn! I've had good pizza too. I haven't had a bike ride yet. 

The weird thing about being back is that every conversation in every restaurant or place I understand completely. Hearing their dumb interactions makes me hate people! I found a lot of Koreans in Suwon rude but I did not hate them. Here, in the States, I understand the language spoken and decided that I hate people's conversations about their stupid lives.

Well, that's all for now. Getting ready to pick up my baby. Hope you all had a great day!  

What?!

Last week the Director asked me to work Monday and Tuesday (August 11 and 12) of this coming week. No problem. They are short staffed and I am getting paid to teach so what the hey... Later, in an email, he said I am to work the morning of August 11 and all day on the 12th. I need to do close my bank account and transfer my money on Aug 12 and it wasn't clear, in his email, if he meant I should teach the afternoon of the 11th too! I called him on his cell phone after 8pm. He said that the schedule is on his office computer and that all the teachers have maxed out their hours, so he wanted me to work all day on the 12th . I told him that I prefer not to teach the morning of the 12th but can teach the 11th. And, does he mean only the am on the 11th? He still wasn't clear. I told him, as a matter of fact, that B hasn't maxed out his hours and if he could work the morning of the 12th, that would be helpful to me. The Director said he would think about it.

Yesterday, the Director emailed me and B. He told B that he will work the morning of the 12th. That will give B 23 hours that week! A record! He is the only teacher that works 20 hours; the rest of us are 29 or 30 hours a week. All of us are maxed out in hours? Huh?!

In his latest email I will work the am of the 11th only and have my regular Tuesday (Aug 12th) schedule. I get to do my banking and say good bye to my kids with an official party! It's still not clear if I am to work the lunch hour on the 11th! WTF!!

The Director is never clear in his emails. He writes well but is purposely ambiguous. It's very frustrating. Even in person he evades answers or goes around the subject. He has a military background in "intelligence", nice training, eh?

Old posts wither away, as clouds disperse on a cloudy day

I wrote this blog entry last August 6, 2008 when my job was ending in Korea and I was heading back to L.A. to join my gf and live happily ever after. I saved it as a draft b/c she told me that she flet embarrassed about mentioning her name in another post and with my written display of affection.

I feel okay since we broke up in August 13, 2009, a year later. We learned our lesson, finally. After a few tries and tribulations, we have and for good, broken up. If any of my or her friends read this, please remind us of the lessons gleamed. Thank you.

I will be in another intimate relationship and I wonder if my future gf will be freaked out by this blog entry? Will she be mature enough to realize that my heart has loved before she was in my life? That peanut butter and music are part of my soul? Or will she be too insecure and think negative thoughts and ask that it be taken down from blogger? How will I feel about that?

Old post from August 6, 2008:

...As many of you know, I love my GF. She's the most beautiful woman in the world! She's my music, my peanut butter. Huh? For those of you who don't know my love for music and peanut butter, let it be known that these three things I love and cannot do without!

The day of my arrival is fast approaching. I am giddy. Happy. I can't wait to be in her sweet arms to hold and hug her tight! Hmm.

Letter about my employment and replacement

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Dear (Enter your favority language institute here) Family,

Mr. Matthew’s last day is fast approaching. He has agreed to stay until August 12, before returning to his home and future employment. His classes will be taught by Mr. A from Canada. He is a writer and has a high interest in running. He has been getting to know some of the students in the school and is already well liked by them. I am confident that Mr. A will be a great teacher for our students.

Sincerely,

Director
*****************************************
Hello blog readers. You've just read the letter I received on official letter head yesterday from the Director. I've edited the name of the new teacher. The Director wanted me to distribute this letter to my EAS 3 class. I don't know if the same letter or equivalent went out via mail for my other classes, IKP and IEP3. This is how business is done here. Not a very good introduction to Mr. A. Does he even have teaching experience? What does running have to do with taking over my classes? Hmm.

Drinking beer with a straw while watching "Mummy 3"

As liberal as America is, we don't have available yet, beer for sale in all movie theatres. During my summer break, I went to see the movie "Mummy 3" at the Megabox at the COEX mall in Seoul last week. It's a huge 16 screen theatre located in the underground shopping center called COEX. I bought my ticket and headed for the concession stand where soda, pop corn, churros and beer were available. I ordered my Korean Hite beer for about $3.00 and headed to the theatre with my seat assignment in hand. The beer was cold and served in a plastic "Solo" style container. I think the beer is terrible but the experience of drinking a beer while watching a movie is so cool that I did it.

My last week at this Canadian Maple Leaf Hogwan

Well, the school in its management brilliance has asked me to work two days before I leave next week. It seems that the two new teachers, a married couple, don't arrive until August 17th and the Director needs to figure out how to cover or combine different level classes with three teachers leaving and one new teacher here. I told him that I will work next Monday (possibly) and Tuesday (definitely) and leave Suwon on Wednesday (you bet I will) for Los Angelez. Reminds me of that Arlo Guthrie song: "Coming into Los Angeleez, bringin in a couple of keys...don't touch my bag, if you please, Mr. Customs man..." Yes, blog reader I am going to smuggle in two kilos of kim chi through customs. Watch me, now!

Of course I get paid for my time working. I am helping them out because they need me and I feel okay about doing that. Plus, I get to see my favorite class one last time. Oh, those stinky little kids! By helping the school out, I am also helping Bernard and others who may be asked to work more hours and since I was planning on spending money in Seoul for two days shopping, I figure I could save some cash, earn some cash and help out my fellow prisoners!

All the teachers and teacher assistants, who are Korean, filled out these anonymous surveys two months ago and sent them to HQ. This hogwan is a Canadian franchise, BTW. Did they ever read the complaints and comments about management? I talked to a lot of teachers here and they unloaded on paper a host of things that should make HQ raise their eyebrows and take some action!

Marketing Starbuck Nation and the socialization of consumers

Welcome to the world of Starbuck Nation.

I'm reading a book called The Starbucks Experience, written by Joseph Michelli, a PhD in organization psychology and published last year (2007). As some of you know, I am a big coffee and tea drinker and at one time, wanted to open my own coffee shop. After working at a major coffee chain and an independent, it was a nice idea and dream. A romantic notion of the sexiness of coffee and the cool seduction of a beautiful product mixed with music and roasted beans.

Starbuck Nation is the world we live in today. They care about their employees by offering stock options, medical for part timers (20 hours of more), they use an independent agency to verify their CAFE standards of growing and trading in foreign countries, they are meticulous about coffee quality. I don't think their coffee is as good as Peets, by that doesn't matter. The blog entry is not about coffee or how wonderful Starbucks is as an corporate entity. Starbucks, a most visible and progressive corporation, has uncovered a bunch of thoughts and feelings I have that make me think that there is something intrinsically wrong with our society where corporations continually look for ways to motivate and inspire employees and to create a Third Place where people are connecting by monetary transactions.

Starbucks uses five principles, outlined in a green pamphlet, that are simple to use and execute in order to make customers happy. It's like Mao's Little Red Book; each employee carries it with him or her, reading the simple, almost folk-like guiding principles which give the employee the power to make every customer's experience consistently good and expected in any Starbucks anywhere in the world. Wow! It bothers me that people connect during a transaction in a corporate setting.

The Starbucks Experience, that the author raves about, has created an emotional feeling and attachment that customers and employees feel and act upon. The book is full of testimonials of real and regular people who seek out this Experience, to duplicate everywhere and talk about it like Starbucks is a friend or a comfort in their hectic lives. This is corporate marketing genius and synthesis: creating a Third Place where people know your drink preferences, your name perhaps and an intimate setting for bonding the customer to the product. On a basic level, Starbucks is one of the most visible and viable drug dealers in the world. Their caffeine delivery system vis a vis coffee is helping to create and condone addict behavior. On another level, their Five Priniciples for creating an intimate customer experience is changing people's attitudes about corporations being our friends.

Starbucks, like other corporations such as Apple, have created an emotional bond between customer and product. We should not have a connection with a corporation or it's product because it's based upon a paid transaction that is not a real or genuine experience. We think it's real, of course, we know that the sales person is not our friend, we also know that the product brings us joy but we are forgetting, I think, that this bond is transparent and only in the name of profit. We are being misguided and mislead to a point where we become acclimated to corporations buying up real estate and planting their seeds (products) in convenient locations for us to buy and enjoy. I am not against Starbucks or their seemingly good corporate practices. I am against creating false transactions which allow a soulless corporation to become one that has a "heart" and conscious. If this is the case, as it has been for a time, then we should hold corporations and their stakeholders (Board of Directors, shareholders) personally and legally responsible for any ill will and bad behaviors. Corporations are soulless places, entities governed and protected socially and legally and operate in a vacuum. If we change the standing of a corporation, then a customer, who is "craving" their pretentious latte with add ons, can feel great that the people who are practicing the Starbucks Experience are doing good in the world and not some marketing plan to make employees and customers zombies.

Today, we must empower employees to enable them to have control and authority so that they can provide a great experience to customers. Most companies figured this out and since this translates into more profit, it is almost expected of progressive corporations. Organizations are still vertical but this top-down authority has changed allowing happy employees to serve their hopefully happier customers. Cha-ching go the registers. Work has never been more fun! Ping-pong, 15 minute messages, dry cleaning on the premises, child care and the like. Is it ever about empowering people or is it just management finding more ways to make more money?

Before Starbucks instituted their five principles to their front line proletariat, were their owners in HQ wondering around aimlessly in Seattle, without some corporate philosophy to inspire them to feel good about or were they worried about high turnover and keeping costs down? The book interviews slews of upper management; I've never read about so many corporate layers and departments. It's worse than UCLA! Are people really sheep and must rally behind some pseudo corporate principles/philosophy? What were these managers thinking and doing before they got hooked on Starbucks rhetoric? Were they spewing and spouting their former companies philosophy in also a zealous way? Have they've changed philosophies like a hooker has changed pimps?

The author makes it seem that every body interviewed, from management to the barista, can smoothly articulate the Starbucks Experience for a thirty second sound bite. That's a wonderful accomplishment, I guess. However, this is One Corporate Mind. Is this how marketing hooks people and "brain wash" them into some sort of corporate belief system? The Five Prinicples are like the Tao De Ching or is is Register de Ching? Sorry, I couldn't resist!

The book uses a lot of real testimonials from inside and outside Starbucks. Regular, real people who speak reverently about Starbucks like it's their friend. It's marketing brilliance, really. There are thousands of people who feel wonderful about this company like a good and loyal friend. Am I missing something here? I don't have these feelings for any company. I like Peet's Coffee. I like Coffee Bean's coffee and tea. I like Toyota cars. Has Starbucks marketing created zombies out of people? Are we now going to have coffee World Wars now? The Allies are Starbucks and Peets and the Axis Powers are Coffee Bean and Doutor?

On page 92 the author wrote about how Starbucks gave away coffee for a citywide coffee break to train commuters. The author makes it seem that the main goal was to celebrate and surprise commuters and was not a gimmick to get customers into a Starbucks. This citywide coffee break was coordinated with Starbucks celebrating their Fair Trade Certification of coffee and got much attention. Michelli, the author, spoke enthusiastically about management wanting to surprise their customers, as part of their five principles. He made it seem that surprising customers was the only priority of the free coffee day and not the announcement of their good Fair Trade advocacy. Stupid. I'm not naive. Maybe it was poor editing but it was a marketing gimmick which surprised many but did not surprise the naive. In other words, amid the upper managers professing how making a customers' day is important for Starbucks, they are busy preening and coiffing their corporate image to be do-gooders. It's disgusting. It's fakery. They do want to make a difference in the lives of farmers but their smooth marketing tactics don't fake me out.

Another problem I have is that the author approached Starbucks to write a book when management is figuring out that thier business and that of the coffee industry is heading towards a recession. Starbucks is probably being proactive by allowing the author to research and interview people of Starbuck Nation because they will need to close stores and also cut back on building new ones. How can you continue to grow at five new stores a day? Starbucks has reached their growth in real estate terms and the book's magic is to market their corporate philosophy in order to help guide it to a smooth financial landing. It's imagery. Of course they are only 5 percent of all coffee buyers but they, like the author deftly points out, are the big name in coffee and most watched and criticised.

We want our employers to pay well, offer medical and financial benefits and allow us the freedom to create a work space that allows personal and professional growth. Why do we need to have personal growth from our jobs? It's a job or career. How can I get personal growth from an in-adamant object such as a corporation? Personal growth encapsulated in the setting of building and maintaining a business? The corporation cares about profit. It's a legal entity with no responsibility. Would I get personal growth living with a robot? No.

My relative funk

Hi there blog reader, oh so kind in prescribing to your daily dose of Palmer in Korea! Welcome back. I hope you slept well over there in your part of the world and was kind to rewind (early VCR cassette reference) and not fluff the covers while your significant other was sleeping! hehe.

Today's daily dose is like a sour smelling kim chi smack on your cheek! (Please make your own kung fu sound here! Oi, ya!) Yes, my relative funk. No, I am not in a funk but my relative is. It seems that another relative's birthday is coming up and she doesn't want to cook that day but instead have her family and friends pot luck it or bring some take out. I can understand that, blog reader. Who wants to clean or cook on your birthday? Not Palmer.

The real source of ire is that my relative funk is funky about the time her birthday was forgotten by the other relatives who are close in proximity and in blood. So my relative is feeling angry about that still and has been getting the stink eye a lot from the other relative (are you following or falling asleep?) when she makes her wonderful, delicious food and brings it over. In all fairness, blog reader, only one gives the stink eye and the other just eats and enjoys. Oh, such grievances between the bloods. Good thing she is not a crip, blog reader. If you're not understanding the slang, no worries. Keep reading.

Okay: here are the list of grievances, not in any order, done by Party A (two defendants) to Party B (my relative funk--the title of this entry--or one plaintiff):

1. Party A forgot Party B's B-day and took over one week to realize that (minus 100 score). Duh!

2. Party A forgot to call Party B and say "yes" or "no" to a home cook meal on a big important day (-10)

3. Party A continually makes the stink eye towards Party B's food on most occasions (-10)

4. Party A did not ask Party B about a culinary school for Party A's son nor did that son ask Party B for her thoughts on going to said institute when knowing that Party B is a foodie, etc (-7)

5. Party A lives in their own world (-2. I think we all do)
7. Party A only thinks about their own needs, all the time (-10)

Who's keeping score? Not me--I can't add.

I talked to Party B about talking to Party A about her feelings and grievances. I hope she does. Maybe Party B would be better and healthier (emotionally) not holding a gripe for such a long time against Party A. Not that Party A does not deserve some straightening out. They do. One of Party A's long term issue is the absence of communication of two of his four kids! Wow!

Party A (only one person out of two) may feel insecure about her own cooking and attack Party B's cooking by finding fault. Party A has this lame philosophy, or mabye they don't practice it anymore, where they say, "It's not what I say but how you take what I said." I may have paraphrased it wrong but personally, that's bullshit. When someone gives you the stink eye and makes comments about your cooking--and believe me blog reader--Party B's cooking is wonderful, Party A being a jerk. Or when Party A declares that Party B's soup was a bit off in taste...why volunteer your displeasure? Is that really going to "help" Party B's soup? It's like someone getting a bad haircut (like me in Korea--it's tough cutting curly hair in the land of straight hair) and saying to that person: your hair is really bad. Well, duh! I know my hair is bad. Look: Just don't say anything if you don't like my hair or soup. That's the best method to get along with any Party. Otherwise, you hurt people's feelings which Party B is feeling.

White people are not made for tropical countries

Oh fellow and fellow-a blog readers. White people or westerners in Korea sweat like pigs. It's really disgusting to see and to feel--I am the white man after all who sweats with the best of them. I've never seen a pig sweat before; all I know they roll in the mud, make cute sounds and later, when chopped up, taste delicious as "Dun-Cas-Su-a" (Korean) or pork cutlet.

Today, I went to Seoul. It was a hot and humid summer day, typical for August. The only time I stopped sweating was inside the Mesa Fashion Mall eating my pork cutlet and talking to Yanne on the phone and on the $2.00 express bus to Seoul. The rest of the time, I sweated like a pig. I sweated walking to the bus stop; I sweated sitting at the bus stop; I sweated leaving the bus. I sweated walking to Gangnam subway entrance (green line); I sweated going to Coffee Bean in Namdamun Market; I sweated at Namdamun Market; I sweated...

White people sweat horribly here in Korea. Koreans don't sweat like whites and when they do, they don't look dreadful. White people are not made for tropical countries. Our shirts stick to our bodies, our hair becomes matted, we stink. Its embarrassing when we raise our arms and uncover our arm stains. We are fat and out of shape and because a lot of us are big people, we seem out of proportion and a direct contrast to the homogeneous Korean of black hair, average height and same style hair cuts. We are like walls of sweat, moving like bovine beasts on the streets of Itaewon. The Korean street vendors sit there, slowly moving their fans to their faces, not a sweat drip on their brows or lips.

White people look like they are going to die in this weather. We are pale and sickly and can barely walk through the lagoon of humidity that lays here all day and night. Koreans never get that shiny, oily gloss that I had all day, on my body. I looked like a red man with my sweaty forehead and arms; my shirt stuck to my chest, my back pack straps making an "X" when I removed it; my eye glasses slipping down my nose, constantly. Koreans' faces don't turn red when in the sun; they don't sweat the kind of sweat where it falls from your shoulders, down your back, following your spine down to your butt crack, creating a reservoir so when you get up to leave your seat, there's a sweat track! Yuck!

White people in Korea are dressed correctly for this tropical heat but they never manage to adjust to it. I haven't yet. It's been six months of a steady diet of kim chi and I still manage to over produce sweat that makes my shirts stink for days. We need to take two or three showers and change our clothes just as often. Koreans take one shower. I haven't become acclimated and there's no magic code to un-sweat genetics.

Summer Break at a hogwan

It's summer break here at my hogwan. A one week sabbatical from the sounds of laughing kids, crying kids, screaming kids-- all to remind me that I am a teacher. There is no stinky, hot and humid basement to prep my lessons in and certainly no director to watch over us teachers who are consistently late for their classes. He said anyone with three tardies to any class would be dismissed. That has and will never happen. As much as we are indebted to the owner and school, they are also our slaves. They need us much more, however. We have the power, I think.

Yanne posed me the question: Do I miss my kids? I told her that I miss a few of them. The ones who make me laugh; who are fun, cute and cuddly. The others, no. Do I miss my EAS3 (ages 10-12) class of five? Nope. They can barely spell the word "blue" or "black." They are less smart and attentive than my kindergarten (ages 8-10) class of ten! Most of my EAS 3 are lazy and stupid.

My job as a teacher is to inspire, to create lessons that teach them to feel and be less inhibited in speaking and learning English. Where they can experiment with words and sounds. Hasn't happened. They are uninspired, un-focused and loud and obnoxious.

In that class a girl named Ji-Yun is picked on by SunJu and Lilly. They make her cry. They don't want Ji-Yun to sit with them. There are only three girls and the two boys in that EAS class. The boys don't want to sit with Ji-Yun either, which is understandable since they are boys and Ji-Yun is a girl. That little twit SunJu is totally mean towards Ji-Yun in the way that girls are mean to each other. It's really ugly. I feel bad for Ji-Yun. She is quirky and they are conventional and too cool for her. I've had the associate director come up and give the mean girls a little pep talk. I don't like the two mean girls. The boys are okay. But they detract from the class with their antics.

A while back I wrote about one of my students named Amy who was hit by her mother for not performing well in English class. Well, that Amy in my IEP3 class is still performing great but is a bratty and obnoxious kid who I don't like anymore. Maybe this is the result of her abuse or she is becoming a teenager or both or neither.

I worked really hard in that class and the kids are still bored. We've planted tomatoes, cared for them, used the Internet to learn about soil and tomatoes. We've read a play, done poetry, written silly things like "Dung is a good food to eat." I'm struggling with them. Maybe I am a terrible teacher or maybe they are so busy and feel forced to take English classes to appease their over worked parents. I feel frustrated with them.

My favorite class is my advance IKPA, kindergartners who are cute and fun and enjoy the learning process but do get bored. Most of them I like. We have fun with English, as in my other classes, but they seem to enjoy it and have fun. I like all of them but a few I missed this week.

There's Euro (her English name), a very funny girl who makes me laugh when she pretends she is mad at me and "scolds" me in Korean. I don't know what she is saying to me but the other kids are rolling on the floor in laughter. She may grow up to be a comedienne one day. She's a sweat heart who needs help with everything though. She can do the work but she decides not to. I sometimes need to stand or sit next to her to have her write faster and complete her work. She likes to raise her hand and answer questions. Recently, she decided it would be more fun if she raised her foot instead. Now, the other kids are copying her. In fact, they have fake phone conversations with their feet. They pretend their feet are telephones and raise it up to their ears to talk. (Phone rings...)"Yo-bo-say-o?"

Then there's Emma who finds everything I plan too easy and too slow especially when we play Simon Says. She is a very smart kid who has a real facility for languages. She's fun to teach and loves when I read to her. She gives me parts to read in the book and she will read the other parts aloud. Very cute and fun.

Dennis is like the super genius in that class. He gets everything. He is an ESL sponge. He's cute and fun and loves to draw. The class is too easy for him though. He will be ready in a few months for the next level and I look forward to helping him get there. He sits next to Ronnie James Dio, the dumb kid I wrote about who dropped two months ago and is now back, asthma and all. Dio is actually really bright so I don't know if he had a brain IQ spurt or he is maturing in age. I feel bad for him because he breathes really heavily. Maybe this interfered with his learning process. He is kinda gross. For example, he will sneeze and snot will be like two green daggers hanging from his nose. Disgusting. After a while he'll ask if he can get a tissue. Dio!

Then there's Sunny (her English name). She is a special kid who is so intuitive and insightful it may verge on being psychic. She is a joy to teach and has a wonderful sense of humor. She has said things to me in English that have been weirdly psychic. One day I was feeling down and she was talking to me in Korean and English asking me questions about how I feel. It was great. She has a big heart. She's in my lunch class twice a week and I had her and the other kids talk to Yanne on the phone. Sunny was asking if Yanne is my friend or girl friend and wanted to know how serious we are! Cute!

I have a few more days off before going back to work. I've been sight seeing, relaxing and playing Palmer style basketball. I am having fun and looking forward to next week, my last working week at the hogwan.

I Can't post my Comments

Hello blog readers! For the past four days, there have been website javascript errors on all the computers here at Joy PC Bong, the place where I write my blog entries from. I've tried different computers at different stations and at different times of the day. That makes me sad! But today it worked! I wanted to say thank you all for your comments the last week and for the last six months too! Thank you.

Safety and well-being in Korea

Suwon has a population of about 1.1 million people. It's an urban area. The main street which I ride my bicycle to and from work, consists of eight lanes and a maximum speed limit of 60mph. The city of Suwon is a large sprawl of apartment buildings, businesses, buses and at 4am, it's common to have traffic jams. With this in mind, I am continually amazed of the feeling of safety I feel and see here.

Parents leave their young child/ren sleeping in their cars, windows down, doors open, parked on the side walk while their parent/s are out of sight. Families walk together, their young kids running ahead, cars speeding by and scooter delivery guys sharing the side walk. Kids, ages 6-18 walking alone, during the day or late at night, to and from school. Families eating dinner at a restaurant; the child finishes her dinner, says nothing to her mom and dad, leaves the restaurant and rides her bicycle down the busy street. This would never happen in Los Angeles or any major urban area. People are scared. Bad things happen. Here in Korea, however, there is a trust among people. For example, although bicycles do get stolen or vandalized there is no incentive to steal one here. Most people have the same style of bicycle called a Lespo and what market is there for those Lespos when everyone has one or can buy a new one for $80?

Last August of 2007, I road my bicycle in Chico and San Luis Obisipo (SLO). I was looking for a new place to live and work and did a four day road trip up north. One of my litmus tests for safety is riding my bike in the morning and late at night. I had the same feeling of safety in those two places as I do here, in a city of 1.1 million people. I love it. People feel safe here. There are no guns owned by individuals, gang violence is very little, there are no "race" issues, people are college educated especially women and sharing is part of their culture. But I don't know the stats of safety and such and I am still guessing why safety here is not an issue like it is back in the States.

Cutting costs or good customer service?

As some of you know I like to patronize several restaurants in my area. One is Miso-Ya, a Japanese place that serves breaded cutlets, and the other, called (I forget right now!) that serves Mon-du and bibimbap. For the most part, they know I am a teacher and that I live or work near their restaurants. They do know my eating habits, however!

The other day I ate dinner with Bernard, a fellow teacher, at the Mon-du place in the Gok. The waitress commented to Bernard, in Korean, that I didn't finish my rice and it would be more cost effective if I ordered something else in which I can finish. Then on Saturday, after my kindergarten six year olds, I went to the Mon-du place again and ordered bibimbap. This time the waitress told me, in Korean, that I don't eat much rice so she would give me extra vegetables! I thanked her. Is this cutting costs or good customer service?

On Wednesday of this week, I ate at the Japanese restaurant and ordered my favorite dish, number 28. It is cooked rice with lots of vegetables and fresh, chopped sashimi. I think it's tuna. Not sure. I put some red paste over it for some spice and chow down, "chop chop" Korean style. Ooo! The cooks know I am not big on eating a lot of rice. Rice likes to settle in my gut region messing up my sexy abs. On Wednesday, she gave me a ton of extra lettuce. But today's number 28 had a 50 percent reduction in the rice! Is this cutting costs or good customer service?

I think it's cutting costs. Korean owners are very price consciousness and who isn't? I hear from all people that Korea has employment problems. How this translates to being price conscious is a big step! I imagine they cut costs whenever they can and since I am one of the few white westerner men who visit, they definitely notice my eating habits and style! Do they do this with other frequent customers? I dunno.

Korean department stores, restaurants and other service industries are customer-driven experiences. It is really quite good. They are helpful. If they can't help you, they find someone who can.

For example, when I bought my cheap-ass basketball at Home Plus, the representative took a new air pump from the shelf, opened it up and pumped air into the basketball. It was a warm day and he broke a sweat.

Another time I was shopping for Yanne in the cosmetic aisle at E-Mart. I spoke to a nice lady who took me around the whole store telling me about lip products in English. She helped give me choices in selecting something nice for Yanne. In the former and latter experiences, it is good customer service.

I am trying to think of the last time I walked into a Los Angeles restaurant and the waiter or waitress was nice, made eye contact, showed some genuine care or pride and provided great service? Hmm.

Chop Chop

I wrote about the Sound of Duk in my Ear, now comes a worse sound from Korea: Chop, Chop.

Every Wednesday when I have a break from 3-6pm, I run errands. I sometimes go to the Suwon library in Young-tong (which has books in English) near Home Plus or just read while having an ice mocha at Holly’s Coffee or Coffee Bean. If the weather is good, I stay at Home Plus and eat at their Food Court. There are many selections there of Korean food. And what else would you expect, gringo? However, if the weather is not so good, I stay in the area near the office. That’s when I get full, frontal Chop Chop.

Most Koreans I’ve had the pleasure to share a table or restaurant with, make this sound while eating. When it’s consistent in tempo and not sporadic, it is really irritating and ingratiating. A lot of my kids do it. In fact, they told me the name of the sound: Chop Chop. I say often say “Chop Chop” to them in the classroom in order to have them hurry or finish an activity. They laugh because Chop Chop is the name of the sound people make when eating.

It’s like the sound of smacking lips. It’s like that lazy sound dogs, in particular, make when lapping up their water. I think it’s partly due to people leaving their mouths open when they eat noodles or other food with slurping sounds-- in combination-- that helps make that sound. It’s definitely cultural and very Korean. When people make that sound, however, it’s annoying. Imagine a table of people making that sound.

I seem to have hit the sweet spot of chop, chop in this one Japanese restaurant called Miso-ya. About one block away from my office, this Japanese chain with its clean tables and fresh food and cheap prices beckons the penny wise traveler that I am. Nine out of ten times when it’s Wednesday, when the weather is not good, and I am stuck in the office, I often go to Miso-ya for a late lunch. And if it’s around 4pm, it’s also the time when the staff eats. I try to avoid the place at that time but if I am really hungry and I don’t want Korea food, which is usually the case now because I am burnt out on it, I eat at Miso-ya. Today, I left Miso-Ya with a lot of my food in my bowl: I was assaulted by their chop, chop sounds.

Without sounding like an ethnocentric racist, I’ve tried so many times to sit through a meal with people making that sound and conclude that I don’t like it, it’s annoying and though it’s their culture, they should stop doing it. Please!! Just like restaurants not allowing smoking anymore, maybe a good cultural trend (without making a law) would be for them to stop that noise! Ah! Have mercy on me!

When eating surrounded by Korean people at a restaurant, I always hope the music gets louder or they’re not hungry or I can find a table away from the choppers. But I have not been able to avoid it. I try to embrace it but it’s not working. When they come to America, they quickly realize, if eating with Westerners, that we don’t make that sound and they stop doing it, I hope. Another facet of American Cultural Imperialism working its magic. Maybe Americans make sounds that others don't like? Hmm.

MLK

My students are reading about holidays in various countries called Days to Remember. It’s part of this Canadian curriculum distributed by my hog-wan here in Suwon. For example, ANZAC Day (Australia/New Zealand), Canada Day and Martin Luther King, Jr. day (MLK) in the U.S.

The unit focuses on these national holidays in attempts to make them aware of the soldiers who fought for freedom, consolidating provinces into a confederation like Canada and those individuals, like MLK, who fought and pushed for civil rights of African-Americans.

The other day I handed them two MLK worksheets. It had a picture of MLK and parts of “I had a dream…” speech. And the other had a comparison chart of MLK and “me” the student.

We did the comparison chart. It asked how many brothers/sisters did King have and how many does the student have. It asked what did King’s mother do for a living and what the kid’s mother does for a living, etc. You get the picture.

After they filled out the comparison chart, we went around the room and asked them the questions from the activity sheet. They liked it, it got them talking. I like when they talk in English.

I thought it would be great time to introduce the sheet with his most famous speech on it. Instead, they immediately started drawing. The kids decided MLK would look better if he had a full on beard, big horse teeth, Zulu style earrings and tattoos on his cheeks. They are very irreverent and disrespectful at the same time. I wonder if students back in the States would do such a thing? Would they do this to one of their Korean leaders of the past? I know I was serious about the lesson and activity but they were not. I am disappointed in them. If you are thinking about teaching English in Korea, maybe you should not.

All Apologies...

The other day, blog reader, I had an entry about a dude who bought my Korean made steel string guitar. He was out of it every time I called to confirm or give him directions to Seryu Train Station here in the Gok (AKA Gok-Pan). Maybe he was sick. If you read the blog entry, he wanted me to hand him the guitar over the exit rail so he wouldn't pay for the train fare even though it costs .80 cents. I thought he was going to run away with my guitar and kindly asked him to exit so he could sit down and play the instrument. I sold the guitar. Anyways, a day after the sale, he sent this email to me (a direct, unedited quote):

"Hey, sorry I was pretty angry because I had walked around a new station that wasn't on my map and got stuck there for an hour. I had to backtrack to the station on my map and switch trains, while my map said it was all one line that I could sit on. Anyway, thanks for the guitar!"

How about that?! An explanation of his behavior that day which is an apology too. When was the last time you got one of these? If you're like most people, it's pretty rare, I think. Wouldn't it be great if people could do this often?

In Korea many friends settle silly disputes by saying: Paper, Scissors, Rock. In Korean it's "Gao-ee, Bow-ee, Bow." They do the best out of three. The person who wins, gets his/her way or whatever the bet or dispute is about. My students also do this game but a lot of them cheat by changing their hand shapes in order to win. In any case, it would be cool if world conflicts could be resolved this way, peacefully. Wouldn't that be fun?

"Honey, I want to see the film 'Wanted'," he says to his baby.

"No, I want to see 'Sex in the City'," she replies.

"Oh, no! Not that! You made me sit through a whole season and I'm not doing that again..."

"I sat through two seasons of X files..."

"Yes, I know but you have a mad crush on Agent Fox Mulder."

"No, YOU have a crush on Agent Scully! By the way, what kind of name is that?"

"Let's decide the movie," he says, "Well, do Paper, Scissors, Rock. Ready?"

He lost.

Moral of this blog entry: When you get a sincere apology, take it, show the world, publish it, share it with family and friends. However, when you lose a bet to your SO (significant other), grin and bear it! :)

Homeward Bound

I am homeward bound in 10 working days or 20 calendar days if you include weekends. Yeah! I am excited to be with Yanne, family and friends. The only thing I will miss about Korea is bicycling to work.

Over 2 billion people do this daily without a desire to be stuck in traffic, listening to some jackass' loud stereo reverberating through their car or paying $4 a gallon. I love to bike to work. The sidewalks here are wide enough for me and the dozens of moped/scooter delivery guys who share the bike path. Yes, a little dangerous. Living 20-25 minutes away from work is a small item that I will miss about Suwon. Another item about Korea I will miss is.......nothing.

I think I understand why a lot of Koreans prefer living in Western countries. Our lifestyle, overall, is better. Our air, our infrastructure, medicine, education (post-secondary) all are strong pull agents. I'll miss hanging with Bernard and playing basketball at the local park court that needs some urgent maintenance. Nothing else comes to mind. Sad, maybe.

What about the students? I won't miss them. They are fun, cute and cuddly but managing their behavior takes up a lot of class time. They are mostly bratty and uninspired to learn a second language at this time. Maybe their teacher is uninspired too? I often refer to it as "baby sitting." Expensive baby sitting. I keep them occupied with good English activities but they get out of hand. They're kids. They want to play. It's not a good job and school management is not very good either although the owner is honest and a good guy. I imagine teaching is the same in inner city schools minus the guns, gangs, drugs, beatings, bomb threats and the like.

I needed Korea for financial, mental and emotional reasons I have written about before. I was in a funk. I go home to Yanne, family and friends and start new.

Selling stuff in Korea

Hello blog readers. I have used Craigslist.org here in Korea and sold some of my stuff already! I love that website. I got two hits on my cheap Korean bike, one on the guitar and one on the am/fm radio, but the latter was an Internet Paypal type scam. Not me, wise blog reader! I don't fall for that!

I went to a LA public library lecture given by Craig Newmark, the Creator of Craigslist, about two years ago. Rest assured, paranoid blog users. He's one of us, the peeps, workers, proletariat. Looking after for our Internet brethren. Fighting the spam, keeping the Internet free. One of his values is helping society. Although some may criticize him at that, what have you done lately for bettering society?

I sold my acoustic guitar today to some dude named Peter. Every single time I talked to him on the phone, he seemed so out of it! I called him at 12:30pm; it sounded like he just woke up. I called him another time at 7pm, it sounded like...he just woke up. He confused Suwon Station with Seryu Station today. He made me nervous. I could sense the "flake factor" creeping in. Like that terminology? So, I called him to confirm two times. He showed up at the Seryu subway station today--the correct station. It was pouring f-in rain. Typhoon. Raining baboons. Little baby baboons scratching themselves and throwing dung at everyone. I've never seen so much rain!

Anyway, he insisted that I hand him the guitar over the exit guard rail to inspect and play. WTF? No way! He could just run off with it! I would need a subway token just to enter and chase after him! He had one of those Korean T-Money plastic, rechargeable cards for the subway/rail transportation. The card is $3 and the refills are $5. Each ride on the subway is like 80 cents! Cheap bastard! It would cost him like 80 cents to exit and sit down and play the guitar he wants to buy! I told him no. Forgettabout. He relented and exited the turnstile and sat down and played. He liked the guitar. He bought it for 50.00 and off I went to wait for the 83-1 Suwon bus.

In two weeks I will sell my bike and hopefully my stereo. Anyone interested?

Ya!

The title hopefully got your attention. That’s what I learned in writing class back in high school. An interesting title. Well, this blog entry is about this Italian guy who is now living in my apartment.

I've been told I am "mellow" by more than a few people in my life. When that many people say that, you can believe them, right? My mood is generally the same; I am even-keeled about most things. On the rare occasion, however, when I get angry this big Italian mafia guy from Sicily appears, like my second shredded skin, with a stiletto in one hand and a 9mm gun in the other. The last month or two I am finding that Italian guy visiting often. It's like a 1950s Bogart film: the dark figure is sitting in my chair, the lights are out but the light from the outside casts a shadow, he's smoking a Camel and flipping a coin waiting for me to get home! The conversation goes like this:

"We got a job to do," Guido says in his horse accented voice.

"Oh, yeah?" I respond sounding like a tough guy. Guido stands up and walks over to me, pointing his finger.

"That Korean cab driver...let him have it!"

So I did! Guido let loose on that old "ajasi" asshole cab driver who was aggravated with me because I wasn't fast enough giving him his cab fare.

"Wait I minute!," I yelled. He muttered something.

"I am counting the fucking money from five people," I continued. He gestured wildly.

"What the fuck? Just fucking wait! Why is everyone in a fucking hurry in this country?!" but he didn't understand. By this time my co-workers have vacated the taxi. I don't know if they were scared. One of them asked, "Hey, Matt. Who was that Italian guy?"

The other day I am riding my Lespo 21 speed bike, a staple here in Korea; no one steals them because everyone has one. They're heavy, steel framed bikes with some dude named Sam Chully name on every seat. Every time I sit down, Sam gets some ass. Anyway, some mother f!#$er cuts in front of me. I hear Guido yell "Ya!" The driver ignored it. At least once a week this happens. You get cut off, Guido yells, and I feel better! Ya!

Koreans yell "ya" which means "hey!" It could be a toned down-between-friends "ya" which is "hey" or the elaborate, lung-busting-you-piece-of-shit"Ya!" which means "Hey!" It reminds me of Gary Larson's Far Side comic panel where a scientist discovers what dogs really say when they bark. The scientist's instrument panel translates dogs barking into the word "hey." Everything they say is "hey, hey, hey." Ya! YA! YA!!

I'm at the local grocery store, recently renovated, enlarged and re-stocked with the much needed and added PA system which the owner or manager uses by wireless mic to make announcements. I am shopping and all of a sudden, that mother F-er starts his ear-piercing 15 minute sales pitch! He won't shut the F-up! He's loud. He's obnoxious. He uses "ya" a lot. He talks to people shopping in the vegetable and fruit aisle. All of sudden, Guido's coin hits the floor and I hear: "No one is buying your crap! Go to the dry goods aisle, that's where your real margins are!" It's like that yelping dog next door that barks "hey" all the time, at inconvenient intervals, it drives me mad! Guido yells "Ya" at the man but he is too busy selling stuff to no one who is listening.

The other day me, Bernard and Lisa are eating at Miso-Ya (there's that word again) and four middle school girls, in their light blue blouses and navy blue skirts come in and sit down at the adjacent table.

"Oh, boy" I mumble to myself. "They're going to yap and talk loudly, giggle, argue the way any middle school girl or boy do..." and I black out. The next thing I know, Guido is telling them loudly: "Can you guys sit over there?!" They look scared. The next twenty minutes is peaceful: no loud middle school talk just me and my coworkers talking among ourselves. Later, my coworkers ask, "Matt, who was that Italian guy who just left?" Ya.

I know my patience will be back to normal in the States. This country drives you to the edge; people are sometimes more rude, busy and stoic about things then back home. You develop a hair trigger response. And when you do respond, people give you space. It's the polite thing to do.