Jamba Juice Oatmeal

Dear Jamba Juice,

On Monday I tried your Blueberry & Blackberry Jamba Oatmeal at UCLA’s Jamba Juice store. I wanted to write to you and express how disappointed and angry your company and product made me feel.

First of all, your organic oatmeal price of $2.95 plus tax is too expensive. I can buy oatmeal on campus at a student operated cafeteria (called Northern Lights) for $1.50 and get approximately 8 ounces of oatmeal with fresh halved-walnuts, brown sugar and raisins. Justifying that your Jamba oatmeal is organic does not give you the right to charge more for it and then serve it in a tiny container. WTF? My spoon is twice the size of your container! At any supermarket, I can buy a 2lb container of oatmeal for the same price! If you doubled your portion, I would not complain; right now you’re just ripping people off. You shameful capitalist swine.

Your website erroneously displays the weight of the oatmeal. See www.jambajuice.com/#/smoothies (and select oatmeal) . On the website it lists the serving size of 1 fluid ounce with servings per container of 1. That is wrong. The oatmeal I was served was about three to four ounces. In fact, I am disappointed that I was charged for a “kid sized” portion. I ate your oatmeal in five or six spoon servings! Now, compare my picture with your very full looking advertisement of your new oatmeal. This is false advertising and I’m going to report you to consumer affairs and write about this in my blog. You misleading pricks.

Secondly, I kindly asked two of your UCLA Jamba employees to fill up the cup to the brim. They refused citing your exact preparing specifications. I even showed them your stupid Jamba Oatmeal advertisement above. They gave the usual party line: we are instructed to serve it like this. I can’t believe they cower under your supervisory fear. Look at your advertisement; it’s full of oatmeal. Look at the oatmeal that was served to me; it’s ¾ full. What MBA bastard thought of this marketing campaign? Your price is too high and now your jipping me by not leveling off the oatmeal. You cheap bastards.

I hate company policies and people that train their employees to only give one exact scoop of this or that citing it’s company profit propaganda--all in the favor of counting beans and saving your CEO’s some money.

I omitted the brown sugar from the oatmeal; good thing I did. That blue/blackberry sauce is really really sweet. I could not imagine what it would taste like with the added brown sugar. Your employees were nice enough to put the sugar in a small cup. Did your MBA HR monkeys train them to do that? Maybe that’s why I couldn’t get the banana oatmeal that day. What monkey crap!

Lastly, I urge you to double the size of the oatmeal and to fill it up to the brim. You don’t need to add brown sugar either; it’s too sweet with the blue and blackberry sauce. Did you ever think that some customers want to add milk to your oatmeal too? Come on, you geniuses.

Why are you even trying to “branch” out into the breakfast arena? Your bread and butter are juices. I know the economy sucks but your new oatmeal it’s not even a nice try.

Not a happy camper,

Signed by Palmer