My friend Sharona has an instinct for free food. She is the new kind of hunter that has left the prehistoric forest and entered the urban gatherer society. Like Sharona, we drive to Ralphs, gather our food, go home and microwave it. Today’s hunter uses GPS and the combustion engine to find and gather. Our food is cleaned, cooked and sanitized. We no longer have to fight the four elements to gather our food supply. Instead, we maneuver our soft bodies through the urban landscape of parking lots, supermarkets and use sanitizers to clean off the ink from Sunday's coupon section. In our current state of work, Sharona is the new face of the organizational onion: She is the Tribal Leader of hunting down food.
Here’s an excerpt of a captured communication link between her and her hunter and gathering guard. Thanks to the Ray “Huang” and his magic pinky ring, we were able to intercept this secured email conversation and have a close up view of real time hunting and gathering in the work force.
Sharona: This is Tribe Leader One calling all available scouts. What are your positions? Come in, please. (static sound...)
Kelly: Ah, Tribe Leader…(static,) this is Kelly Unit over here in Collins Sector A dash Four Sixteen. (static sound) We are all green with salad and good to go in ten.
Sharona: Roger that Kelly. Please identify free food for rescue…
Kelly: Roger, Tribe Leader. Dianthia in K Sector had a visual of some Noah’s bagels in Gold Section 2 dash fiver with some possible garlic cream cheese south at the 6 o’clock position.
Sharona: Roger that Kelly. Can you secure the area from MBA’s by O eight hundred (0800)?
Kelly: That’s a negative. We have some MBAs and Profs milling around the coffee spigot.
Sharona: Hmm. Roger that, Collins Sector. The master room schedule has their departure over. Could you push for emergency exit?
Kelly: Ah, negative Tribe Leader. We have several Big Wigs collecting damaged goods for return to home base in Sector C dash 4 Sixteen.
Sharona: Roger that Kelly. On my count, send work study cub, Sam, for some scouting and clean up duty; that should get the ball rolling and bagels bagged. I’m hungry!
Kelly: Roger that Team leader. Cub Sam on his way for reconnaissance and push with show of force. ETA of goods at 0811, Over and out.
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2 comments:
That is too funny! Thanks for including us in your story. I will send to the Tribe Leader and Dianthia.
This is so funny!!! :-)
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