Fake nails

Ever since I’ve been living with my gf, I’ve been eating yogurt ice cream once a week. It’s good! Never before would I venture into those yogurt shops that, during the 1980’s in Los Angeles, were in business like crack dealers on every corner. The new dealers on the block are: Pinkberry, Yoku Yoku, Penguins, Red Mango, TCBY, Frugos and the like. They are here again with new flavors, pretty furniture and “healthier” toppings.

Last night me and my gf shared a chocolate and a French vanilla yogurt topped with mango. As in most franchises, they hire young high school kids. This one had long, curved fake nails painted with black and white spotted dots, the kind of Rorschach pattern you see on the cows from Ben and Jerry’s ice cream pints. Imagine her trying to squeeze a zit or pick up a glass of water with those?

In between spoons of the low fat substance, my gf said that fake nails are not good for food service positions especially in the kitchen. They limit your ability to handle a knife or hold plates. While I pondered this and the fat / sugar content of our medium sized yogurt--and wondered if I should be eating ice cream instead--the high school kid dropped a glass on the floor. You could hear the sharp pieces of glass bouncing off the off-white tile. She was right.

Long, fake nails are only practical for swinging down a pole in Vegas and or giving a BJ in a porno.