Why the holidays suck

Yes, blog readers, it's the holiday season of 2008 and Palmer is all Bah Hum Bug! I am fortunate enough that I don't celebrate any religious holiday and can be exempt from the obligatory gift giving and receiving! Ho ho ho. It's good to feel this way, my kind blog readers. I like not participating in gift exchanges with relatives I don't like and who don't like me. It makes the holiday parties I go to much less tense and this year I haven't seen anyone I don't like simply because-- no one invited me to their holiday party. What a relief! I don't need to feel uncomfortable. The fake "Merry Christmas" or the disingenious "Happy New Year." I don't like pretending or faking my feelings. I do hope my good friends and family members had a fun holiday break but otherwise, don't invite me to your party unless you want to be brought down into a dark...damp...depressive state! Yes! Palmer is the "Holiday Cooler" for hire! For a $125 fee, you can hire me to use my charm to disarm your holiday party and send your guests home!