Do Korean parents purposely give their daughters American stripper names? Or is the World of Disney so persuasive and perverse that 6,500 miles from their Burbank Headquarters, children choose their "innocent" English pseudonyms as some sort of Walt Disney fantasy and conspiracy?
I have a student named Princess. She's 11 years old. Princess is a stripper name. I should yell at her mom and dad. To see a real Princess, go to 4Play in West Los Angeles. Princess will make cooing sounds for you as she swivels around pole number three with her four inch heels and white tiara.
Another student here is named Barbie. Like a Barbie doll... Barbie is a 40 year old, tanned and pruned ex-stripper with "D" cups working in the heart of Burbank, probably still the receptionist for that busy law firm of Dewey, Cheatim and Howe. She still wears low cut blouses showing off ample cleavage. My student Barbie is a cute 6 year old who dons yellow and pink nail polish. Isn't she too young for that stuff? When children take images from the Disney machine and make them their own, that is not magical stuff.
Then there's Angel. I bet you my nice salary of 2.2 million Won that there's an Angel in every strip club from Los Angeles to the eastern tip of Montauk Point, New York. And who doesn't like angels, right? The anti-Christ probably. Angel is classic stripper name. It used to be cute and fun, now it's a cliche. Old and wrinkled like Barbie's time sun tanning at Venice Beach. Jesus!
You know when dog owners resemble their dogs after a while? Well, Cherry a 6 year old student in my school looks like a cherry tomato! It's also a more updated version of the classic stripper name of Angel. The Cherry here is a tiny thing with a round, cute Cherry tomato face and matching "bowl" bang haircut. She's sweet. The Cherries of strip joints are the ones who wear the "G" string thong with three cherry hearts on them. They will rob you of your money, like some Rod Stewart song.
Korean parents, if you ever read one post of this forsaken blog, don't name your kids any of these names. They are reserved for strippers. Do you want your daughter to be lap dancing on some businessman or college jar head's lap? No! A name can be self-fulling prophesy. Do you know of any Melvins, Marvins or Bettys now? Drop the stripper names and use something reasonable. Walt Disney would be disappointed that his magic has failed but who cares about the world they create? Would you want your daughter to become a Disney employee who must answer the phone with a smile saying: "Welcome to the magical world of Disney, how can I help you?"
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4 comments:
Matt,
Thank you for an update! I wonder how the Korean parents choose the American or English name for their child (ren). These names (Angel, Barbie, Princess) are not exactly mainstream. Princess has been a popular theme for girls' birthday parties for the last few years. Angel is more of a Latin name. And Barbie, well, I guess from the Barbie doll. Cherry, well that's just not anyone's name that I have heard of... I would think that Korean parents would look more to American pop culture and name their daughter Brittany, or Lindsay, or Angelina. Hey, maybe that's where Angel comes in? I guess those names are just as bad as the stripper names? It would be a good idea to me, if I were a Korean parent, to name my daughter after a strong, smart American woman, like Hillary or Michelle. Just an idea...
Hi Kelly,
I didn't know about the American use of these names at birthday parties, etc. I don't have any kids because I'm too busy going to stripper bars! hehehe. Joking of course.
There is definitely a skew in Korea on English names and western pop culture. For example, I was at a live concert here last week at Kyunghee University. The singers were Korean but some of their songs had English lines which were the main melody. One singer did a rendition of "you are so beautiful" by Joe Cocker. It was in English!
The big thing here are hip hop groups with dancers and pumped in sound (no live musicians); they look like toned-down LA gangsters and LA gangsta pop groups. It was funny to hear a bunch of middle school girls scream at the concert. It sounded like those old Beatle clips from Shea Stadium in 1964!
Thanks for your comments; always appreciated!
Hi Matt,
I didn't mean that they use names at birthday parties. Parents give "princess themed" birthday parties, where the little girls dress up like princesses with tiaras and dresses. It's too bad that the gangsta rap has creeped into Korean culture...
I have to say I was one of those screaming girls during middle and high school when it came to bands like Duran Duran (come on, I know you like them... ;)
Hi Kelly,
I am sorry to hear that you liked Duran Duran. Is that band name dumb or what? I mean, any band that has to repeat its name twice, is a little low on the IQ scale, eh? Or is it some sly marketing trick? Or is one of them a stutterer and that's why the band is called that? Come on! :)
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