Korean Students are So Nice!

Yes, blog reader, Korean students can be so nice and complimentary to their hard working "Sung-sang-nims" or teachers. I traveled 6,500 miles from Los Angeles to Suwon to be called: Poop, monkey, dirty, dungy and Red-eyes. My student over whelming think my hair line is that of a monkey's and that I smell like poop, am dirty and supreme dung (crap) maker. Maybe my lesson plans are crap and for sure my eyes are blood shot from the constant assault of pollution and dust from riding my 80 dollar bicycle to work. I can see how my receding hair line can resemble a monkey...but, reader, I really revel in the joy of teaching and gloat like the capitalist I am! Think of it: I am indoctrinating them into Western ways and guiding them with the invisible hand of capitalism so when they are college graduates and start their jobs, they will speak English and buy Western products! I am doing my share of "keeping America strong." I feel so patriotic. I especially like how these students do not withhold their thoughts or feelings towards me or each other for that matter.

Last week I had a student throw her binder at me in frustration. Half her homework was completed; she did not understand the other half of the assignment. So, she decided throwing her binder would be the best solution. Off to the Director's office I sent her, in tears. She cried and cried. She was sorry. Really. I think.

The week before a student charged at me like I was a matador in a bullpen in Spain; brave blog reader I dislodged like a matador master the over weight bundle of fat into Never land--and when he returns from MJ's place he will only be squealing like a pig.

Most recently a student decided it would be funny to just fart at me. I am not paid enough money to put up with this monkey crap. He laughed and I punished him by wrapping his head in cloth and water boarding him in the kid's sink while his classmates laughed and made fun of him. Take that "Bong-goo" (fart) boy! Nice "so called" friends, too.

Yesterday, Dio, who's back from some sort of sabbatical from my class, decides to just let a lot of his drool foam up and foment all over his right side of his mouth and face. It was disgusting and he wanted a reaction from me. I made him wash his face in the classroom sink. Remember Dio? He was the really lazy, and somewhat slow moving boy who's mom met with me a month ago. The school was upset about the loss of him and a few other of my students. The Director, Assistant Director, the Owner and the parents met with me to discuss the situation. Well, she later pulled him from my class; now he's back. He even tells me now that he "loves" me. He has improved his writing skills during that interim, perhaps thanks is due to his better and more competent teacher named Tracy. Or it could be that his mom got all over his lazy ass and told him to stop being so lazy? I dunno.

Then there's Peter, a student who I watch during my lunch hour in another teacher's class. Part of my job is to help administer lunch every day for one hour. Today, Peter, holding his crotch and doing the universal "pee pee" dance, needed to pee badly. I told him to run fast like "bali bali" (very fast) and so he drops his pants right there in class. His naked ass revealed; the students are so nonchalant, they continue eating, yelling. Then Peter realizes that the bathroom is 25 feet away and so pulls up his trousers and dashes off to the restroom. Yes, I am in combat some of the time.

I guess I am just venting. It definitely beats working for Bill and having to call Armani of Beverly Hills to arrange for a suit fitting for him with their visiting Italian tailor or the time when his wife missed her limo to JFK in New York City and me, being so inept, left the limo company his wife's cell phone number as a back up. Of course the company called her cell phone to say they were waiting for her. She never got the message because she doesn't use or bring her cell phone!! She took a cab to JFK--how pedestrian. I was supposed to ask Bill first about his wife's cell number...Or how about the time when Bill would constantly re-arrange his calendar to fit in more important business meetings than meet with students; after all, he is a professor and business and Board meetings are more important than the lowly needs of students. Or the times when...don't get me started, blog reader! I definitely don't wipe anyone's ass anymore! I don't wipe asses here either except mine, of course!