I guess my family is on a war path, faithful blog readers. My warring uncles (read previous blog entry) continued battle is complimented by my fighting cousins.
About a year ago, my cousin Edith died. She was in her 80's. She left behind a husband, daughter and two sons. In her estate, the daughter was the sole executor but something happened. An argument ensued and now all are fighting over the money and tangibles Edith left behind. Maybe the youngest brother needs the money but all are overly well-to-do. Each hired an attorney to dispute the will contents and get their rightful share. I wonder how Edith would view their fighting and bickering? She would hate it. One of the sons, however, hasn't spoken to her in years, so maybe she wouldn't feel that bad. I think parents should choose a neutral party to be the executor of a will.
And what would happen if my own mom dies one day and she does not specify exactly who gets what? Will my uncle Emanuel, who's a millionaire but lives in a dark, one bedroom apartment, go between my brother Adam and me demand his "share" of my mom's stuff? Will my other uncle, Jerry, a (former?) drug addict and now ex-con, demand that certain items in my mom's estate be given to him? Couldn't you imagine how they would act towards me and my brother Adam? Based upon their vile email, I could see that Adam and me would not want to give them anything!
My mom and I talk a lot about stuff. She's great that way. I broached the topic of a living will w/ her. She says she'll visit an attorney but knowing my mom's severe and almost epidemic procrastinating nature, it may never happen. She could just type one out on her computer really.
If something happened to our parents, I think Adam should get the larger share, maybe a 60/40 split. He needs the money. I think he's reasonable and a giving person and I don't think I would ever argue or dispute with him. There seems to be a large reluctance of both of my parents to spell out exactly who gets what after they pass. I guess they don't want to think about it and choose a "favorite" or even alluded to showing any favoritism. I can understand that.
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2 comments:
Hi Matt,
Your post is all too familiar. I saw it with a friend's family. If the deceased does not have a will, it seems very likely that people will fight over their loved one's possessions (they do that even with a will/living trust). There is software that your Mom could use that is very easy to navigate and is much cheaper than hiring an attorney. I can get a copy to you, if you like.
I also think that it is very kind and generous of you to offer 60/40 with your brother. That's just the kind of person you are! I wonder what happens if there isn't a will/trust. Is there a way that anything of value could go to the state? That would be another motivation for writing a will/trust.
Hi kelly,
Thank you for your comment! And thank you for the offer of software too. I know my mom. She wouldn't use the software at all but one day she might get around to making a will, maybe just like it took use years to get to the moon or out of vietnam or build the LA subway and rail system. :)
She has some jewelry and cash. if she doesn't have a will, the default is me and my brother, 50/50and I don't think he would fight over anything, really. I wouldn't either. I am worried about the warring uncles and I'm sure my battling cousins might try to wiggle in too!
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