Ruined Shirts

The other day, it was hot and humid. Like the geek I am, I place my pen in my engineer type ugly striped dress shirt pocket. It’s convenient and enhances my image of being so suave and cool. It’s efficient and until now, no spillage, no leaks. I know others will follow my fashion style since I am breaking new paths in what is acceptable here in Korea! Anyway, by mid afternoon, there’s a huge, blue splotch on my shirt! The pen leaked! And when I was sitting down, the shirt had folded unto itself causing the splotch to multiply by three! Now I have three ink stains. No one noticed in my kinder class! That’s okay and typical…

Another time I was in my kinder lunch class and Peter, holding his crotch and doing the pee-pee dance, asked if he could go to the bathroom. I said “Yes, go! Hurry.” The next thing I know he has dropped his pants and he is butt naked! In the middle of class, the students are eating and no one notices that Peter is butt naked and about to pee! I yelled, “No, not here! Run to the bathroom!” He picked up his pants and dashed off. The students acted like it was normal…

I threw away the cheap ass Mon Ami 153 pen which hasn’t changed at all since I was last here in Korea in 1997. And still, no pen clips! WTF?! How can you not have a pen clip? That’s ridiculous. Every time I bend over the pen flops out like boxer shorts without a front button.

When I went home that evening I took off the shirt and saw that the blue ink blotched my stomach and chest, too. I spent ten minutes rubbing it out of my skin. I soaked the shirt in detergent for one hour and threw it in the wash. The ink stains were still there. Three of them. I threw the shirt out. Forgettabout!!

The next day I took the shirt and garbage bag out for collection. I went up stairs and did another load of laundry, took a shower, ate breakfast, yada yada yada. When it was time to hang up the laundry in my small patio, that bloody blue ink stained shirt was still there! WTF? I threw that puppy out, I thought! Then, I realized that I threw out the other ugly striped dress shirt which is like the ugly striped dress and stained shirt! In all the confusion of being me, I didn’t pay close attention. After all, one stripped line shirt does look like another strip line shirt; the many I have! I ran downstairs but the garbage was already collected. Shit: now I am out of two dress shirts!