You determine your time

Yes, we determine how we spend our time on this here planet. My theory is: if you have money, lots of it, you spend less time on the mundane, and more on the meat. I do not mean to belittle the chores of life, which for me are sometimes nice and relaxing, but if I had a personal cook I took everywhere, like Tim Barrack, a live-in maid like my high school friend, Seth Kupchick, or a nanny or two like the rich do, time would open up for me and bleed slowly like an overdose on hemoglobin!

I am waiting for that day when laundry and dishes is done by my illegal Oaxacan maid; my food is cooked to exact nutritional standards by my on-board traveling CIA chef, and my shopping done by my personal assistant slave.

Last night I waited 40 minutes to be seated at Fritto Misto in Santa Monica. It's a yuppie style restaurant over on Colorado Ave and 6th that serves up California Italian cuisine. It was 8pm on a Tuesday night and the line was deep!! Our chances of finding a comparable restaurant at 8:30pm in L.A. was not too good; these west coast types get scared about having fun past 7pm. When there's a line, this usually stops me but it was a special night which didn't stop any of us Westsiders from queuing up for 40 minutes for a plate of $14.50 pasta. If I had lots of money, I would have eaten at a really expensive restaurant where they have "stand-ins" for those queing up outside.

If I was an android I would not require food or sleep and other secondary things like pooing. This blog is about poo so it makes sense to talk about the benefits of not pooing. Think about all that time we spend eating and pooing and sleeping. That's like half our lives! I know if we lived on Mars, those problems would be solved.

If we didn't eat, we wouldn't have all those pig farms in North Carolina pooing up the riverbeds. We would have enough switchgrass to grow in the fields to burn in our ethanol engines, we wouldn't need $1,200 spring mattresses to sleep or work eight hour days...we could spend more time fucking too. We can't become androids but we can determine how we spend our time.