The other day my best friend, O, emailed me an article about Koreans attending Ivy league schools and the enormous financial, emotional and physical tribulations students and families go through to get into the Ivies like Harvard and Yale, etc. I've pasted the article link at the end of this post.
Last night, during my favorite class, my favorite student, Amy, who is like a daughter to me, if I had a daughter, had bruises on her left upper arm. The weather has been warm recently and everyone is wearing short sleeves. She was rubbing her left arm a little and I could tell that something was bothering her. I noticed the four medium size, dark bruises. I asked Amy.
She told me her friend hit her on the arm and then later her mother hit her too. I asked why did her friend do that? The friend was angry but I think it was just an excuse to cover the real damage her mom did.
"My mom was angry at me..." she said.
"Why?" I asked.
"Over English," she said. I thought: she's an excellent student. Her grammar is really great. She can talk to me in English...It took me a few minutes to process this and then I got really upset. I thought of making my homework easier or was it too difficult and it made her mom frustrated? Or was Amy not making strides that her mom thinks is adequate? I walked to the Director's office, trying to remain calm and focused and not to react, and asked him to talk to Amy to clarify how she got the bruises. Maybe I misunderstood.
He came in and asked Amy to come to his office. When she came back, she had tears in her eyes. The class was in the middle of their lesson so I sat down with Amy to give her instruction and time to settle down. She was upset and took a while to focus. She worked slowly on the activity sheet. I talked to her about the activity then asked her what the director said. She had tears in her eyes. I got her a tissue but she refused it. I told her how upset I was to see her arm like that and I wanted the director to talk to her about it too. I was trying not to cry.
I asked Amy if she felt safe at home and if the director or someone else were to call her mom, would Amy feel okay about it. She said it would not be a problem. I told Amy that where I come from, that kind of behavior is very serious and not tolerated. I told her that seeing her arm like that was upsetting to me and that I needed to tell my boss so he was aware.
The director told the owner about the bruises. The owner said it's the responsibility of Amy's public school teacher and administrators to notify the proper authorities of this abuse and if I see more bruises, then the owner can call and report the abuse. I feel helpless in this situation which mirrors my general helplessness: language and culture are barriers. How much pressure parents' feel when they are old and need the security to live a healthily life vis a vis their children's financial support? They are their social security; their life support and pressuring and pushing their kids to succeed will make them "successful" and also give the parents a safety net when they're old.
I am working through this... I was up for hours last night. My favorite student Amy, sweet and smart with two younger siblings working hard at English and me, indirectly, contributing to her success or failure as an English learner.
Here's the article:
April 27, 2008 Elite Korean Schools, Forging Ivy League Skills By Sam Dillon
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/27/world/asia/27seoul.html?ex=1366948800&en=b9c8a3db94765d6c&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss
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