A critique of tourist maps in Suwon, Korea

Look, I am not an English language expert nor do I have a masters degree in grammar but the tourist maps here in Suwon, South Korea are terrible. With all the talented English natives who live and work here, some who have graduate degrees in English, would the government please ask them to help translate their tourist maps into readable and cogent English? I'm sure any of us would gladly offer our editing services for free in order to correct the mumbled, jumbled and inarticulated tourist maps the government subjects all English speakers to. To be fair maybe they hired new editors and after printing like 10 zillion of these cool maps, they realized the editorial awkwardness. I don't know. These maps are embarrassing and as a tourist who enjoys the sights, sounds and smells (Spinal Tap reference) of Korea, I must state my peace.

Almost all Koreans learn English as a second language from elementary school until high school. Those who can afford to, go to private schools, institutes or hogwans and learn more. Those who attend college will often take English classes from native speaking Canadian or American teachers. The new generation are capable of conversing well in English but those who translate the tourist maps for English speaking people, do not yet have the skills necessary. If the government who hires the company(ies) to create these maps have native English speakers edit the content instead, I would not have to be criticising about it here! You don't want Palmer criticizing. The wrath. The venom. The smugness. The condescension! I come from a long line of professional critics who sowed their oats on the mean streets of New York. Yo!

Here are a couple of examples from the actual Suwon City map of Gyeonggi-Do published by http://www.gg.go.kr/. It is a hard copy that the Suwon Station tourist office gives you, the confused and tired traveller. You will laugh, you will cry.

1. Jaein Falls:
"At the center of the cliff standing high like a wall-screen with strangely shaped rocks does one stream of water fall rush down, which cools off viewers’ minds..."

Kind blog reader who has with stood my crankiness in this blog, do you feel cooled off by this water fall description? I feel pissed off! :)

2. Paju Camp:
"The Paju camp of Gyeonggi English Village is preparing various programs, where family can join, such as Theme display experience, robot display experience, toy/cookie experience as a daily program, including regular courses, and public experience, performance, and exhibition, etc."

Bored blog reader who has been patient with my diatribes, please tell me what is a "theme" display? And a "toy / cookie experience?" Do you want to go to Paju Camp for a "regular course" in "public experience"?

You know how people say, "just write a letter" and voice your complaint? My Santa Monica College literature teacher once said that to me. And, my mother too. And I listened to them. Well, people, I have written a lot of letters in my life to various companies for various things and you know what? Either they don't get them, read them or care to reply. I have offered "solutions" to their product line, or emailed to complain about their crappy product. I was "nice" about it. Really, I was. On a few occasions, I had a phone call or email response. Not all companies can reply to all customers, just the ones who spend the most money or who are threatening to sue. That's why I am not going to write the Korean government to clean up this translated non-sense. Why not? I could be at risk getting deported for some obscure law I did not commit! I'm not paranoid. Besides, they may not understand my garble. They might call my language institute (hogwan) and complain about my crappy grammar. This would be embarrassing for my employers and in order to "save face" I could be fired and sent home to that mess called Los Angeles. Forgettabout it!!